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How to deal when...

2 replies

BaggyLeSoobs · 18/04/2013 21:29

...after a crappy few years your luck finally changes and the friends and family you thought cared for you just want to shit on your parade?

Not trying to drip feed but in a nut shell - bad long term relationships, two kids (separated from dad years ago - still in contact), few years on benefits but finally find a fantastic job with real career opportunities. Why are the people who were there to support you through the bad times suddenly disappearing through the good or treating you like you have done something wrong?

I'm not the world's most confident but this has knocked me for six as been ditched by closest friend and sister as not available at drop of hat and have had to cut contact with toxic abusive father so feeling a bit crappy right now.

Please tell me it's not just me?

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WafflyVersatile · 18/04/2013 22:11

maybe they've gotten used to you being 'poor baggy' who they can feel superior to and now they can't?

Some people are fair weather friends and not much use when times are bad, but some are bad weather friends who need to feel needed or less bad about their own lives when they are busy helping someone else through a crisis.

Maybe they have gotten used to you being available and are being huffy now you're not.

Or maybe you've been all happy and excited and positive but it's come across to them as you suddenly getting cocky or arrogant.

Was anything actually communicated between you about the ditching?

Maybe they feel you have ditched them?

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BaggyLeSoobs · 18/04/2013 22:22

I suppose they could feel they've been ditched in a way as I can't just pop round for coffee or meetings like I used to be able to so that is a really good point. And I do agree maybe my excitement about it all and telling them what is happening could seem cocky, though it really is not meant that way.

I suppose it could be a "woe is me" feeling as I am normally try to be very supportive of what people close to me are up to (even if I am feel a pang of envy or that I'm being neglected) and I feel they should be the same way.

Thanks Waffly, food for thought.