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Why are my dcs being left out?

(12 Posts)
chickensaladagain Thu 18-Apr-13 21:27:42

Ex in laws have birthdays within days of each other

Every year they have a big family meal, for the last 3 years they have invited my dcs and their dad would take them - before we split up we all went and did even before we had dcs

Just found out it was tonight and dcs weren't invited

Don't know why but feel very sad -why wouldn't their grandparents want them there?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 18-Apr-13 21:30:08

Who told you they weren't invited?

Could it have been that their dad said he couldn't take them?

Chottie Thu 18-Apr-13 21:30:35

I don't know why, it does seem sad and a bit pointed. GC are still their GC even though you and their D aren't an item any more.

BaggyLeSoobs Thu 18-Apr-13 21:34:41

Agree with ITHFYP. My ex's DM had a big birthday last year, she asked me afterwards if I would have come with DC and I said definitely but of course the ex never passed on invitation to me and DC. Me not being invited I could have understood but I asked ex at time if he wanted girls to go and he said no children were going (other grandchildren were there).

chickensaladagain Thu 18-Apr-13 21:34:56

They see them regularly

My his niece told me they had been out, I didn't want to put her on the spot so didn't say anything

Wishfulmakeupping Thu 18-Apr-13 21:35:43

Have you spoke to their dad about it?

chickensaladagain Thu 18-Apr-13 21:39:48

Not spoken to him, he isn't talking to me which isn't unusual but he wouldn't normally take it out on the dcs

WafflyVersatile Thu 18-Apr-13 21:42:26

could it be that ex and your exPILs aren't talking?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 18-Apr-13 21:44:26

ok. so all you know is that they went out. you don't know that your children weren't invited?

Maybe he turned the invitation down?

Are you on speaking terms with the grandparents yourself?

BaggyLeSoobs Thu 18-Apr-13 21:46:02

It may be miscommunication, it may be something more on his part. If you are in contact with his family then a slight comment to say you would have no problem with DC being involved goes a long way - it has certainly opened up my ex-IL's eyes with regards to my ex, but every family is different.

DotCottonsHairnet Thu 18-Apr-13 21:46:44

My STBexMil has cut my two off - her choice door was open for her to keep in contact but she has decided not too. Probably spurred on by exSil and her poisonous lies. Their loss and then children whilst sad have enough family on my side to make up formit.

chickensaladagain Thu 18-Apr-13 21:48:04

Polite conversation only

They take the dcs out without him fairly regularly so even if he isn't speaking to them they would normally invite them

No one has said they weren't invited but no one picked up the phone or text to invite them either

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