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God why did I do it

(26 Posts)
Brightlydoesit Thu 18-Apr-13 20:56:08

I have posted another thread on here about bf leaving me almost every time we argue. Then blaming me for everything in some way.

This time he left and I didn't hear from him for 10 days (yes I had been having a moan at him and asking for reassurance that he loved me) all of which he took as a personal attack on him. Anyway I was beside myself for days crying all the time trying to work out what I'd done wrong. Then the last 2 days I began to feel a bit better, then he rings!!!

Makes out he wants to arrange to return some belongings and then conversation turns into giving it another go. I had half come to accept it was over before he rang and this put me right back. However he expected things to be hunky Dory after leaving me for 10 days and I was feeling bitter and angry.

Basically it's ended up me practically asking him to continue the relationship today after we decided yesterday it wouldn't work. And us arguing tit for tat who said what. Honestly I've never been so ridiculous with anybody before, he just drives me to it. Now he has said he needs time to think. I know it won't work and he has messed my mind up so badly. I've lost count of the number of times he's gone and come back

MN has told me he's a fair weather friend and its true even today proved that as soon as I became confrontational it was " oh well it's not going to work"

Some of the things he has done are horrible he even left me on my own on Boxing Day! I am mad at myself for allowing myself to go back to square one, I was doing ok before this now I want to die again

DippyDoohDahDay Fri 19-Apr-13 06:55:18

Op, write. Out the above post and put it somewhere prominent, let it be your mantra! That is the strong you talking. I feared I could not or would not have relationships again. Happily now, I don't care as I need time to re find me again.

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