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What do i do?

(194 Posts)
pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 22:39:51

Hi all!

Oh took it upon himself to walk out of his job a year ago, for no particular reason other than he just didn't want to do it anymore.
It was good money, good hours and practically on our doorstep.

Luckily i had a little part time job and my boss increased my hours for me when another member of staff left. We also have 3 children so my wage and our tax credits are keeping us afloat...just. He still expects rump steak for his tea though ffs!

My problem is that he's turned lazy. He still thinks that i should take the kids to school, clean, wash his clothes etc.. Well i've had about as much as i can take from him.

I'm being bullied awfully at work at the moment and my home life is just as bad. I just don't know what the heck to do.

The straw that broke the camels back happened today.
I sorted the kids out, got them sent to school, went to work. I gave him a call around 11am to ask if he could put some washing on the line for me. He couldn't because he was playing golf!!! fucking golf!!!
I came home on my dinner and had to make him a sandwich, while he just laid there on my laptop watching the sky tv that i work damn hard for. It's really starting to grate.

He does no housework at all, he calls me in work telling me to do things for him and that drives my boss mental.

Tonight i asked him if i could watch my program on tv and he stomped off to bed in a mood. Arghhhh i don't know what the hell to do!!??

lowercase Tue 16-Apr-13 22:53:24

That reads like a joke.
I hope it is.

So, he's taking everything, and bringing nothing on any level...
Kick him out.

thatstripedthing Tue 16-Apr-13 22:56:20

Get rid. Because there is nothing in it for you. Respect yourself - he certainly doesn't!

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 22:57:12

He told me that he wants the house painted and decorated, cleaned so it's spotless so it's a fresh start for us all. Then he will start helping with the cleaning. Until then i have to do it myself.

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 22:58:10

His mum is telling me to leave him alone, he's depressed apparently hmm

EvenBetter Tue 16-Apr-13 22:58:35

You didn't 'have' to make him a sandwich, you don't have to finance, clean up after or service this freeloader. It sounds like he contributes nothing except hassle and as posters here often say-your children will be learning things from this 'relationship' such as a woman's role is to do EVERYTHING and to sulk and tantrum rather than behave in a civilised manner. Is this real? I can't believe people live like this sad

mcmooncup Tue 16-Apr-13 22:59:25

cock lodger

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 22:59:46

Yes it is real, it hasn't always been like this. Just this past year. He's just gone all weird.

AlfalfaMum Tue 16-Apr-13 23:00:41

Start by not making his bloody sandwich, you do not 'have to' FFS.
Also, don't ask of you can watch you're program, just say I'm going to watch x now.
He doesn't get to be boss. This applies regardless of who is or isn't working.

JammySplodger Tue 16-Apr-13 23:03:15

Tell him to bugger off to his mum's.

Cancel Sky.

Don't make him any more sandwiches.

Cherriesarelovely Tue 16-Apr-13 23:03:45

Bloody hell. That is bad. You will either have to leave him or start not doing things for him. Maybe by putting your foot down you will motivate him to do something for himself. It sounds grim.

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 23:03:47

He has this caveman attitude at the moment, i don't know what the heck has gotten into him.

AnyFucker Tue 16-Apr-13 23:03:52

Leave the bastard


wonderingagain Tue 16-Apr-13 23:05:43

I can't believe I'm reading this.

'Until then i have to do it myself.' Erm no you don't.

Either you go on strike and stop this mollycoddling or I think you should walk out of your job so you can stay at home and do the things he should be doing. When the Sky telly and broadband is cut off he'll possibly get off his arse.

CharlieUniformNovemberTango Tue 16-Apr-13 23:05:46

Well since his mum is so concerned for her poor little bunny send him her way.

Honestly - you are worth more then this!

Ogooglebar Tue 16-Apr-13 23:06:16

I don't understand...why do you have to do all these things - look after the kids, cook, clean, while he's not working? Was there every any discussion of him doing the house/kids stuff instead of work? Is he looking for work? I am confused

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 23:06:54

I can't walk away from my job, i need it to feed my kids.

BettySuarez Tue 16-Apr-13 23:07:24

I'm struggling to believe that this is true?

If it is then you need to ask him to leave immediately.

I wouldn't want to even try salvaging a marriage like that

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 23:08:25

No Ogooglebar. He's not interested in looking for a job. He said he's had enough of the daily grind and he's going to think of himself for awhile.
He's really bright and can do anything if he put his mind to it.

BettySuarez Tue 16-Apr-13 23:09:19

You are a single mum already to be honest. His presence bring nothing to your relationship and he clearly has no respect for you sad

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 23:09:40

Betty, yes it is true. If i was going to lie i think i'd make up a better one.

Ogooglebar Tue 16-Apr-13 23:09:45

He doesn't sound bright, he sounds like an absolute dick. Why do you feel you have to act like a doormat for him?

Ogooglebar Tue 16-Apr-13 23:11:00

To answer your OP - kick him out.

Unless he has some major redeeming features?

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 23:11:25

It's really strange how he has changed. We used to pitch in together and have a great family life. Now he's turned into this. He's also put on over 6 stone.

pedrohedges Tue 16-Apr-13 23:11:54

Ogooglebar, i love him. I feel torn.

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