I am 3 months pregnant with my first child and finding it terrifying. I am married to a wonderful, but very traditional man who treats me incredibly well. But I have this nagging anxiety that becoming a parent will change our relationship. All sorts of anxieties keep popping into my head - that he will love the baby more than me - that he won't love the baby at all - that he will see me as a mother only and stop having sex with me - that he will find me unattractive - that I will never get my body back - that if I dedicate my life to being a mother now and if he leaves me in the future, I will be trapped taking care of children, jobless, penniless and living in poverty.
All these anxieties stem out of an unhappy childhood with an abusive mother/cheatingfather and finding it hard to trust and fearing betrayal. I am having therapy for this but it's a long process. My husband has shown no signs that he would do any of these things and he understands the basis of my therapy and my problems with trust and insists that it would be dishonourable to do any of the above.
However the anxiety will not go away. I know it's irrational. What I'm looking to try and understand is HOW your relationships changed when you had kids? Did you feel jealous of the baby when your husband gave it attention? Did you wish your husband was giving it more attention? Did your sex life change forever? Did you see your husband looking at other women more?
Media leads us to believe that this cloud of bliss descends over both members of a couple but having seen a friend go through it recently, the bubble was swiftly burst.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How did becoming a parent affect your relationship?
8 replies
bunsmum · 16/04/2013 21:44
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.