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Dating thread no 51

(1000 Posts)
JulietteMontague Sat 13-Apr-13 12:59:27

All tales of online and real life dating here!

Bant Fri 26-Apr-13 14:55:45

Ah. The egg basketisation methodology. Wise.

New thread time. Who wants the privilege? I'm on a phone and its a sod to do

Snapespeare Fri 26-Apr-13 14:53:38

i think you should go. technically you should both be open to seeing other people until such time as which it is mutually agreed that you are in an exclusive relationship. Also, engineer might completely blow your socks off and i think it's good for your brain to be open to seeing other folk so you don't mentally basketise your eggs and invest too heavily before anything actually happens with indie.

Bant Fri 26-Apr-13 14:52:30

Oww, remember, don't invest too much. As Snape says, indie may vanish, or be a bad kisser or something. Engineer may be wonderful. I vote go.

JulietteMontague Fri 26-Apr-13 14:31:31

Go then. You just don't know, indie may turn into a vanisher, engineer may never choose a date. You can always cancel engineer if Indie dazzles you with his snogging technique grin

OhWesternWind Fri 26-Apr-13 14:26:40

Well, possibly ... He does seem nice. Would go without hesitation if I'd not met Indie. I'm not sure if I feel right going now, though. I know it's only been one date and another one planned, but I've never been in a seeing two people at once situation. Italian was arranged before I'd met Indie so that felt ok.

Snapespeare Fri 26-Apr-13 14:16:39

do you want to go for a drink with reappearing engineer?

OhWesternWind Fri 26-Apr-13 14:13:28

Reappearing Engineer has just asked me out for a drink - aargh! Should I go? I am excited about Indie but it's very, very early days. What should I do?

Flipper924 Fri 26-Apr-13 13:22:03

Hm, wondering whether I want to wonder what the gentlemanly equivalent of hoisting one's bosom is. Suspect it's not terribly gentlemanly.

Thank you very much to all that offered, I've pm'd you with my username, I think that should enable you to find my profile. Please be brutal. I can take it.

JulietteMontague Fri 26-Apr-13 13:03:58

OWW if he turns out to be all three, that would be amazing. It's too late to be cool about it, I am so not cool. 3 hrs of grinning on Skype has given me face ache.

Ike he's just the right side of suggestive grin

Snapespeare Fri 26-Apr-13 12:53:54

48 sorry to hear about your mum. been thinking about you - hope this is just a blip and she'll be back home shortly. smile

OWW I'm excited about you and indie on sunday! [hatshop] juliette also excited about your dutch excursion [capshop] really looking forwarsd to both of your updates and hope they will be positive. smile

voice how nice to hear from you - i think we all get a bit 'meh' at times - it is lovely to hear about things going well for our thread compadres, because it does give hope - and hope is important - it's one of the really smashing things about being human i think - that we've all had horrible experiences in the world of romance- to varying degrees, but really, we're all here because we've felt like we've been chucked in the gutter and stomped upon. but things do change, you get that little bluebird of expectation fluttering around your ribcage, we hoist up our collective bosom or gentlemanly equivalent and get on with stuff and sometimes, very occasionally, life surprises us in a nice way. grin you're 39, my love - you have bags of time. oodles of bags. all will be well.

bant don't quite know what to suggest about buffy. strange territorial behaviour for essentially fwb's, but then it seems you have a mutually exclusive arrangement while you are both in the same geographical place. If the potential for a longer term relationship wasn't cut-dead by geography, then it might be funny-cute that she was a little territorial, if it were portrayed amusingly, because that's probably where you'd be now if she wasn't leaving. (this doesn't mean clingy, it means it's disrespectful for her friend to flirt with you and if you flirted back then, hmm) But she is, so maybe you're starting to look for reasons to detach? hmm.

nora yes, just got knock back from high-speed trains, which i'm a bit thankful for - I don't really want to leave my current job (i'm really good at it and it's morally important to me) I just need more cash and a bit more appreciation.

<waves at all else>

Pomegranatenoir Fri 26-Apr-13 12:52:00


I'm also at home today so able to help on profiles if needed. Just pm me! Last day at home before I return to work full time! Going to be a big shock to the system..... Eek!!!

OhWesternWind Fri 26-Apr-13 12:50:08

Dirty but clean ...

48 hope the antibiotics start working soon. Any feedback from your dd?

Velvet really happy to hear your news. What have you got planned?

We're on for Sunday!!! Whoooo!! Feeling all excited. Hoping there will be a bit of snogging type action involved this time, am getting a bit frustrated in that department as it's been a long time (well, a month).

ike1 Fri 26-Apr-13 12:17:50

Hey OWW....hoping the Dutch gentleman isnt tooo Dont be wishing born again virgin territory on Jules ...

Scrazy Fri 26-Apr-13 11:31:58

Hi All,

Velvet I'm really pleased for you when are you meeting and what have you got planned?

Hi Voice, a change might be a good thing. Everyone has ups and downs on the thread.

Bant, maybe Buffy realised that you were happy to meet her mates and might want to keep in touch after she has gone. FWB's are all well and good but envy and feelings are bound to come into it sooner or later, it's human nature.

I'm in a good mood, it's weekend and I'm meeting my gentlemen friends grin.

ike1 Fri 26-Apr-13 11:29:04

Just popping by to wave at all you lovelies and say suggestions implemented ...let the good times roll arf!!

OhWesternWind Fri 26-Apr-13 09:44:38

Hi Voice - good to see you. I made the Big Move a couple of years ago and although it's not been easy, it has made life a lot better overall and given me more confidence. I'm still in touch with my friends from where I used to live although it's mainly on messenger rather than actually meeting up, but that doesn't seem to matter that much. And I know this is a bit of a platitude, but you are no age at all. Please don't write yourself off relationship-wise. No shagging or lurve for me either at the moment, there are a lot of us in this boat.

Bant hmm all sounds a bit odd. Very sensible ducking out of the rave. Just go with your instinct on all of this and it will sort out.

Juliette so excited about your trip to Holland. I have a gut feeling that he will be clean, lovely and fantastic in bed - you deserve nothing less.

Things are going well by text with Indie - all is fun, getting a bit risque and double entendre-ish but that's alright with me and it's funny, not pervy. Have got a babysitter for Sunday so looks like we are on for date 2! Quite excited on the quiet. Nothing from the weird Italian thank goodness. Still a bit disturbed by him - he has made a deep impression and not in a good way at all. Very creepy and odd. Am also texting a bit with the Reappearing Engineer who seems quite nice so he is my back-up at the moment.

KirstyWirsty Fri 26-Apr-13 09:28:42

juliette no I don't think I'd mind at all if it became more .. We will see

Some examples of why I like him
I'd suggested he just comes to mine on Sunday but he wants to have a proper date with lots of flirting in my local pub first ..

He'd sent me a text yesterday that included a 'how's you' and I replied 'oh no he is one of the how's you brigade' .. We were texting last night and then I got a message from him on POF saying 'how's you .. Fancy a shag?' .. He then went on to chat on there somehow managing to incorporate how's you into each message

nora are you standing by????

Lots of discussions re filth as well but nothing OTT .. Eek I am sooo excited !!!

JulietteMontague Fri 26-Apr-13 09:26:54

<Waves at Voice> I get what you mean about it being hard going to see that everyone else is out there doing it, I've felt like that before but the thing to remember is that most people only post when something is happening. Most of the time, not much is happening for many of us. Sorry to hear you are feeling depressed too, that makes everything so much tougher.

It sounds like you are about to shake things up though, I'm sure you've thought about it carefully so it's going to be the right thing for you and your friends will still be there.

Bant Fri 26-Apr-13 09:24:56

Hey Voice. Good to see you back on here, even if only temporary.

I think a change is maybe a good idea - you live in the middle of nowhere, if I remember correctly. My social life, work life and general happiness have all improved since I made the leap across Europe, although the prevalence of fried pork and beer at 90p a pint hasn't dramatically improved my diet. I'd say go for it mate. You can still see your friends on weekends and you'll make new ones. It'll shake you out of the funk anyway.

VoiceofUnreason Fri 26-Apr-13 09:09:15


Haven't been reading the thread since I said I was disappearing for a while, but was told by PM my name was being taken in vain by WFF so thought I'd just pop in and wave. Although have been on other threads.

Haven't been very busy as am not doing any shows at the moment (first time in years) but all my friends are, so I'm not out and about much and just sitting at home a lot - not ideal when GP confirms I have mild depression. Bugger. And no doubt caused by a lot of self-pity.

Coming up next week I will have been single three years. No dates in 18 months. Am 39. Feeling pretty much that I am going to be permanently on the sofa, hence finding the thread a bit hard going a while back seeing the vast majority of people either doing well in the old dating lark, shagging indiscriminately or finding LURVE (hurrah for Snape). Not at all jealous, I'm chuffed to bits for all the fab people on the thread, it just flags my situation up more if you know what I mean.

Think time has come for major changes, so am looking at maybe a new job, but very hard to come by in the arts at the moment. And it would involve a relocation. Not averse to that, particularly if it opens up a bit more of a dating pool than round here, but very hard to make a new start totally on your own and I'd miss my friends enormously (because they are my family, the siblings I don't have).

Anyway, there we are.

When I am feeling more Unreasonable (!) I shall no doubt plague the thread again. Although have to say, have not missed the Soreen one little bit. Awful stuff smile

<waves again>

JulietteMontague Fri 26-Apr-13 09:05:26

Bant I have absolutely no intention of putting my finger in a Dyke grin

JulietteMontague Fri 26-Apr-13 08:57:02

Kirsty would it bother you if you ended up having more with him?

Flip if you also another female profile view, I'm also on both

Winefiend Fri 26-Apr-13 08:56:36

ETA young un is about half 5 (I'm collecting him from the station). His train leaves about half 1. Agggggh.

Thanks Bant, I may need the carp, unless he behaves like a cock this weekend. He's been doing a bit of hot/cold past two weeks (poss not deliberate) but generally after I think he suspects he's given too much away. Think he has been badly burnt in the past. Or something. We shall see.

I didn't realise people still went to raves! Chriiiiiist I feel old.

JulietteMontague Fri 26-Apr-13 08:55:19

48 so sorry about your Mum, I hope she gets through it and back home soon. The full time carer sounds like a plan. Good to know R&R and you are blending too

Winefield good news on the Young un, when is he arriving?

WFF agree maybe the new job hours could be better than you think. Hope you feel better soon.

It is now 5 sleeps until Dutchlandia grin. It's all good, so glad I'm going to him, if he was coming here I'd be a nervous wreck by now. I just hope any sex is good, it's the one unknown and that he is clean and cuts his toenails

BillMasen Fri 26-Apr-13 08:36:51

flipper pm me the POF profile. I'm "working from home" today so may be on here a bit smile

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