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Partner handed notice in at work.WTF ?

(25 Posts)
Lousylo66 Fri 12-Apr-13 09:12:12

Without even discussing it. In complete disbelief. Works in construction industry so over the last few years he has seen probably 2/3 of his work colleagues being made redundant, what with the recession and such like.To make matters worse my job isn't entirely safe - I work for a financially beleaguered NHS trust who are threatening to makes several 100 staff redundant. Don't know whether to laugh or cry sad

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 12-Apr-13 09:14:14

Has he got plans or has he just jacked it in? Some kind of bizarre mid-life crisis maybe?

NotTreadingGrapes Fri 12-Apr-13 09:15:30

Why has he done it?

Is he often so impulsive?

SwishSwoshSwoosh Fri 12-Apr-13 09:17:59

Was there any hint he wasn't happy? That is really not on, unless there were problems at work or he has MH issues?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 12-Apr-13 09:20:50

Does he have any plan regarding what to do next?
Do you have DCs?
Hope you can discuss this with him.

oldwomaninashoe Fri 12-Apr-13 09:26:40

Has there been some "trouble" at work that he is not telling you about that could have prompted this?

NameThatTuna Fri 12-Apr-13 09:30:57

I thought of that too oldwomaninashoe

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 12-Apr-13 09:34:39

He may not have discussed it beforehand but you certainly need to pin him down and get him to explain himself now...

NotTreadingGrapes Fri 12-Apr-13 09:36:00

Has he definitely done it of his accord and isn't covering for being sacked/redundant or something?

Sorry to be worse-case-scenario, it just sounds so odd.

Numberlock Fri 12-Apr-13 09:39:33

Do you live together?

I'm afraid my first thought was also that he hasn't resigned... Is he working his notice period?

Flojobunny Fri 12-Apr-13 10:15:01

What has he said to you?

Lousylo66 Fri 12-Apr-13 10:35:33

Thanks for answering smile Only reason I found out was because I came across an old web page on my iPad about how to compose a resignation letter confused. He hasn't done anything like this before, in fact has spent long periods -12 years plus- in each of his last 2 posts. Not considered the possibility that he may have massively cocked up at work but you never know. He has been very unhappy there for ages, but then again he's a bit of a cup half empty, woe is me type anyway.
As far as finances are concerned, he does have some money stashed away from the proceeds of his mum's house being sold after she died, but tbh most of that has gone in a trust fund for the kids. What's worrying me the most is how he will cope psychologically, he's usually a nightmare to live with after a weeks holiday let alone off work indefinitely. Tried to tackle him about it and he just accuses me of being selfish hmm because he'll be getting in my way at home !

Lousylo66 Fri 12-Apr-13 10:41:51

He's working his notice at moment. Trouble is however good at his job he is, at 45 he's getting on and won't necessarily walk into another one very easily, if there are any around sad I can just see it now, getting up at 12ish, mooching around all day and then up till early hours in front of tv. Good role model for kids, not. I don't sound sympathetic but just think he's fucked up big style.

YoothaJoist Fri 12-Apr-13 10:44:02

Unless his mum's house went for millions, he'll get through any money he has 'stashed' in double quick time. I'd be raging if my partner did this without even discussing it first. Not helpful, I know!

UnChartered Fri 12-Apr-13 10:51:21

i don't understand why you equate him handing in his notice with lying about in bed all day?

Flojobunny Fri 12-Apr-13 10:56:42

If he's really unhappy there then its fair enough really. But not discussing it and being arsey with u when u ask is out of order.
I still think theres more to it though.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 12-Apr-13 10:59:57

I 'm also puzzled. Resigning is usually a pretty decisive thing to do. People either resign because they're very unhappy, a better job has come along, or something else tangible. I'm amazed that, rather than explain why he did it or what his plans are, he not only seems to be expecting to stay home but is going on the defensive, calling you selfish! Does he really have nothing else lined up? No explanation?

Lousylo66 Fri 12-Apr-13 11:00:30

Because he has a tendency to sleep in at weekends and on holidays, maybe til 10- 11o'clock - certainly can't see him jumping up to take kids to school for 8:30. Just think he will struggle without the structure of a normal working day, plus will feel very isolated as not exactly inundated with friends sad

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 12-Apr-13 11:09:09

But still no explanation?

UnChartered Fri 12-Apr-13 11:09:12

this seems like the perfect time for you to redistribute the workload around the house then, OP

you say you're worried about him not being a good role model for your DCs by laying around, but this happens anyway

don't 'tackle' him about his decision, being his equal partner he needs to sit down, like a grown-up and plan the future with you.

Pigsmummy Fri 12-Apr-13 11:13:02

Where do you live? the construction industry in the south is currently booming, after the Shard's completition there was a lull but there isn't now, the worlds 2nd most expensive (privately funded) building is currently being built in London (3 year project), it was in the news this week, there are many other major projects including cross rail etc so there is actually a shortage of good people currently, can you turn this into a positive? Help him get his CV tarted up? his longevity in previous roles will be very attractive to an employer. (he will need a good confident line about why he left current job for interviews).

Wherever you ae based there will be opportunity, rather than arguing with him try buoying him up?

Lousylo66 Fri 12-Apr-13 11:22:25

Thanks for all your advice. Need to sit down calmly with him and discuss his plans smile he's done it now so no going back. We live in north west so not overwhelmed with work up here, saying that he's been travelling down to London twice a month for a massive job there. Just needed a bit of rational common sense I think smile

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 12-Apr-13 11:36:18

He has walked the plank voluntarily but it isn't rocket science that he will need something to focus on and some income. 45 is not the gateway to decrepitude but if he has a glass half empty disposition and doesn't have any set plan I'd worry too.

Is he depressed, how long ago was he bereave? How is his physical health, what about libido?

Lousylo66 Fri 12-Apr-13 12:04:43

Think probably depressed tbh. V little family apart from me and 2 children, 2 close friends. Drinks probably a bit too much than is healthy though don't think that has impinged on work. Think I really need to pin him down on what his exact plans are without been accusatory.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 15-Apr-13 09:57:19

Hope you managed to have a chat with him over the weekend.

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