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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

XH asking me for support

4 replies

YonirockandrollbutIlikeit · 11/04/2013 12:24

I split from my XH in 2001. He was a drinker, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive, and mentally ill. Over the last few years he's sorted himself out and we've become friendly (not friends). He is on my FB friends. He married recently and his wife is expecting their first baby.

He messaged me on FB last night saying that he 'wished he could talk' to me and that he wasn't coping very well with things. I messaged him back suggesting that he talk with his wife, or with his GP.

When he was mentally ill there was a lot of attention seeking behaviour including cryptic texts about his mental state while I was at work and so on. A bit like this message; it's brought a lot of stuff back. I'm not happy to be his go-to for emotional support and annoyed he even thought of asking me.

Has anyone experienced anything like this?

OP posts:
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cestlavielife · 11/04/2013 12:26

his wife's responsibility. not yours.

if you must respond say only keep reiterating "speak to your wife and GP"

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YonirockandrollbutIlikeit · 11/04/2013 12:29

Thanks :) I've just shown my DH so he knows what's going on.

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SanityClause · 11/04/2013 12:29

I haven't experienced this, but I agree it's not your job to supply this support.

It sounds like he's hoping to reel you back into his circle of abuse, and you are right to say you won't do it.

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Lovingfreedom · 11/04/2013 12:32

You've done the right thing so far. He should see the doctor if he's got mental health issues. If you don't have children together why stay in touch? I'd drop him from FB if I were you.

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