I've been seeing a man who is 29 years older than me, for about 6 months now.
We've discussed the possibility of a proper future between us and he seems keen; as am I, but he keeps saying although the age gap doesn't matter to him, he's worried that as I get into my 40s and "hit their prime and become sexier" (his words, he says it happens to all women), it will cause problems as he will be (again, in his own words) "a geriatric".
He keeps himself fit; lots of walking/hiking, jujitsu, has a young outlook on life and has no health problems as yet - whereas I have a dodgy back/shoulders, my mum was signed off work permanently at the age of just 42 due to rheumatoid arthritis and she also has so many health issues; it's likely I'll 'degenerate' before him! :)
Can a relationship work with such an age difference? If you saw a 31 year old woman with a 60 year old man would you think that was weird? Worth more than just the first glance, that kind of thing.
He's quite 'hippy dippy' (for want of a better phrase) and dresses in combats, baggyish jeans with a shirt and hoodies, but it suits him.
So not like he's dressing or acting his age.
My second question is the sex.
I don't want to stereotype, but I've always been with men my own age (and not many of them either).
We have had sex once, but he calls it making love and is very into pleasing me first, very touchy feely and takes it slow and lovingly, whereas my past exes (there have only been 2 of them) have been quite fast and furious - not all the time, but I do enjoy that sometimes.
I enjoy 'giving' rather than receiving (you know?) but no idea whether he's into 'those' as he hasn't said and I have no idea how - or even whether to - ask him, same goes for umm...sorry but I need to ask - anal? I have done it and enjoy it...I'm guessing he may not (he has said he's been fairly traditional and not tried tying up/being tied up, dressing up etc but would be willing to try most things).
I don't want to come across as some nympho and scare him to death but he doesn't seem totally at ease using the more crude words to describe the acts I want to indulge in, so I feel quite awkward in knowing how to ask what he likes or would be willing to try.
This is a genuine post, honest - so any answers appreciated :)
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Relationships
29 year age gap - can a relationship work? Also...'bedroom advice' please!
praying4winter · 09/04/2013 11:19
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