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Hurt by MIL

(3 Posts)
pamelat Mon 08-Apr-13 20:26:51

This happened a month or so ago and things are now calm

I won't go in to massive detail but my mother in law, who until recently I got on well with, publically humiliated and hurt me on Facebook (I know I know)

Since this time, and having had a full blown row and subsequent apologises the following day, I've backed off a bit

What she said was really not very nice towards me but she's not a horrible person, I think she has her own issues and worries, but she was wrong

Anyway DH was prepared for us to just back off but we're going to try to all muddle along. He met with his dad who believes that she has alcohol issues

I think my mistake was confiding too much in her, and I've learnt from that. DH and I are having issues and she knew we were both unhappy and stressed.

Anyway, what I'm asking is how do you retain an ok relationship, or good one, whilst being almost more formal than you once were?

I've only seen her in person once since his has happened but they've had the children for two nights, so that's all ok with grandchild relationships.

I just acted as though nothing had happened as the last exchange had been that given time we would all calm down, which we have, and things would be ok, but it's weird.

I used to send her photos of the children etc and she sent me many emails, probably where again the problems lay. It's just weird to have this lack of contact now that we are all "friends" again

I guess I've never had a grown up fall out!!

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Mon 08-Apr-13 20:38:23

Well your bound to be cautious I don't blame you

pamelat Mon 08-Apr-13 20:43:29

Yes and I have to remind myself to be, as it's easier to just go back to how things were

I naturally want to share anecdotes and photos of children with her and used to enjoy our exchanges, normally by email.

A friend though has told me that her own relationship with her DH is a lot better now that they don't confide personally in his mum.

DH is not particularly close to his family, or perhaps im just very close to mine. I think the over familiarity did breed contempt, on her part.

They are good grandparents but if I remind myself of why I was upset then it's upsetting to think that someone who would speak to me like that is around our children, aged 5 And 2 . It's better to not remind myself sad

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