Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Verbal abuse on the increase, is it?

(33 Posts)
StopThinkLife Sun 07-Apr-13 18:12:31

“There is more legislation protecting animals, than there is protecting fathers.” (Justice for Fathers)
What do you think? and are we taking the rights away from fathers seeing there children and is this right? This week as a woman who works in family law I have seen 5 cases of verbal abuse come in to play since the government policy change (1st April 2013) on there partners and I have a feeling this will be on the increase by the end of the year from people abusing there rights to get benefits and legal aid paid. I know of cases that women have been advised to say verbal abuse even child abuse by solicitors and social workers. Is this policy change good or bad or should it be thought about? Are we looking after the interest of our children or our selves as women and do men deserve everything they get and has it swung to much in our favour and tipped the ball of balance one way not equal, when it come down to the rights of our children seeing there parents?... Children need to see parents as much as they can to give the balanced life style they need. What is your thoughts using verbal abuse or any sort of abuse to break up with your partner....

pictish Mon 08-Apr-13 09:35:38

I'm having some trouble deciphering the OP's posts.

JaquelineHyde Mon 08-Apr-13 09:28:42

Please God don't tell me that you actually want us to believe that you represent people in court or have any kind of job above making the tea!

Midwife99 Mon 08-Apr-13 09:09:26

Are you the errand boy in a law firm? You can't possibly be one of the secretaries, legal assistants or solicitors! You cannot spell, your grammar is shocking & your argument is contradictory!
There, their, they're!!

izzyizin Mon 08-Apr-13 08:56:13

grin@FactOfTheMatter - I prefer my mixed metaphors shaken not stirred with the same swizzle stick wink

Would that be varnished with the same brush or tarred and feathered, OP?

BasilBabyEater Mon 08-Apr-13 08:42:26

"I am more for women's rights but I can't stand here and watch the rights taken away from any persion whether is a man or woman because a law has got loop holes in it for people to take advantage of it"

Sorry, which rights are being taken away exactly? The right to verbally abuse your partner without it being used against you in a court of law?

I rather think it's a good thing that right was taken away.

Also, when you say you're more for women's rights, more for women's rights than what?

When you say you work in family law, what exactly do you do there? I'm guessing you're not the senior partner. hmm

knackeredknitter Mon 08-Apr-13 08:36:48

Oh my, must make some popcorn, will be back just off to make my porridge........

LizzyMcGuire Mon 08-Apr-13 08:30:12

Are you saying that verbal abuse isn't actually abuse and that women are using it as a reason for divorce when really they shoudl just put up with it? Is that right?

extracrunchy Mon 08-Apr-13 08:28:52

I'm a bit worried about who "family law" are employing...

FactOfTheMatter Mon 08-Apr-13 08:26:46

I like 'tarnished with the same brush'. Sorry, off-topic, I know, but I do have a weakness for a well-mixed metaphor. grin

Thistledew Mon 08-Apr-13 08:22:58

If you were a solicitor you would recognise that the changes in availability of legal aid the have caused a massive swing in favour of men going through divorce. I speak in generalities and of course there are exceptions to this, but on the whole a man is more likely to be in paid employment when he is going through a divorce and so can afford legal representation, and a mother is more likely to be out of employment, or in part time or low paid employment so that she can care for the couple's children.

This has created a mass inequality of arms. If there are women who are playing the system (and I have to say that there is no evidence that this is the case) then it is in fact the result of a system in which they are inherently disadvantaged. A system which was designed and put in place by a predominantly male and misogynistic government.

Chubfuddler Mon 08-Apr-13 07:12:14

I hope your pleadings are a little clearer than your posts.

If you're a solicitor I'm the Pope.

StopThinkLife Mon 08-Apr-13 07:03:47

I can only say what I see. I am more for women's rights but I can't stand here and watch the rights taken away from any persion whether is a man or woman because a law has got loop holes in it for people to take advantage of it and I am saying I have noticed a trend last week. Today's a new day new week and I will keep this thread updated.

The people I am worried about in the futur is the people who will be rightfully taking action against abuse and they will be tarnished with the same brush with the people who are abusing the system as it will become the same as 'No Win No Fee' or 'whiplash claims' and the system will be abused.

Sunnywithshowers Sun 07-Apr-13 19:56:23

Pan your powers of memory are amazing. grin I bow before you.

If I was being verbally abused I'd leave, OP. And I'd expect my husband to do the same. If a parent is being verbally abused they are not being a good parent - it's very frightening to witness.

WafflyVersatile Sun 07-Apr-13 19:50:54

I'm having trouble understanding your op.

This govt policies will increase the stresses on families and make it harder to get support with coping with those stresses. We can expect higher levels of partner and child abuse in response. Not sure what you're going on about with dads and courts and verbal abuse and verbal abuse accusations.

flippinada Sun 07-Apr-13 19:49:46

People using abuse or verbal abuse as a reason to break up with a partner? How very dare they!

Lueji Sun 07-Apr-13 19:34:00

I suspect that before women just went along with unreasonable behaviour, or tried to get a mutual consent divorce, to avoid further unpleasantness.

I know at least one case.

As of now if they can't get legal aid otherwise, I should hope they do tell the truth. And I suspect, in most cases, there will have been some form of abuse. Or otherwise, the OH would have agreed to the divorce and it would be cheaper.

Pan Sun 07-Apr-13 19:19:42


AnyFucker Sun 07-Apr-13 19:16:38

Well, this is nice smile

An old friend turning up for a chinwag and a brew

Pan Sun 07-Apr-13 19:13:44

Last March, sunny? Really? Should I be scared of my own powers of memory?grin

izzyizin Sun 07-Apr-13 19:12:36

I know of cases that women have been advised to say verbal abuse even child abuse by solicitors and social workers

As you are 'a woman who works in family law', may we assume you have reported these cases to the relevant authorities?

Some may think that offenders have more rights in law than their victims and it is certainly the case that some children are obliged to have contact with parents who pay less attention to their responsibilities than their counterparts in the animal kingdom.

Sunnywithshowers Sun 07-Apr-13 19:12:00

Oh gawd, is that how it all started? It was last March.

The only thing that comes up for 'Justice for Fathers' is an old FB page. However, if you rearrange the words...

Pan Sun 07-Apr-13 19:08:13

and try googling 'Justice for Fathers'.

Pan Sun 07-Apr-13 19:05:34

I have a very strong sense of deja vu on this. About a year ago. Maybe more.

Sunnywithshowers Sun 07-Apr-13 19:01:49

Ditto Catkins. Or who didn't give references for quotations.

Catkinsthecatinthehat Sun 07-Apr-13 19:00:17

I'd never engage a law firm whose employees couldn't distinguish between there and their.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now