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OD at 55 - is it even worth bothering if I want to date a man my age, not a pensioner?

(14 Posts)
alicepicalo Sun 07-Apr-13 17:05:46

After being on my own for a good while I'd now like to consider meeting men again - for nice social times and ideally for a long term relationship call me naive, I can take it

But friends more familiar than me with OD tell me that men in their 50s want women in their 30s and 40s, not old bats women of my age and that I'm only likely to get interest from 70 year olds shock

I'm involving myself in RL activities, but they're not awash with single men.

Would I be wasting my time doing OD?

OhWesternWind Sun 07-Apr-13 17:29:31

All you can do is try. You're only looking for one man, and I'm sure that at least some of the mid-50s age group are looking for partners their own age. Who cares what the other deluded fools are looking for?

Lazyoldcow Sun 07-Apr-13 18:01:06

Depending on your cash flow you could try something more like an old style marriage bureau! Thinking of up market Drawing down the Moon sites etc- where they interview everyone and make lovely profiles.

MsBuzz Sun 07-Apr-13 18:09:20

I'm 50 and did OD for a few years. There are a lot of men who want a younger woman, but they don't find what they want because those younger women either have young children or want children. I set an upper age limit of up to 5 years older than myself and eventually met a man the same age as myself. We are happily living together.
Be prepared to meet a lot of toads before you meet a prince and have a lot of fun on the way. It is a great way of improving your self-esteem and finding out what you want in a partner.

alicepicalo Sun 07-Apr-13 20:30:31

Thanks for your responses, especially MsBuzz - thats just what I'd like, some fun and a boost to my self esteem smile

LemonDrizzled Sun 07-Apr-13 20:36:18

ali I am 52 and met my DP two years ago on POF. He is 55. We have DC the same age and grew up with similar music, films and so on. He never wanted a much younger woman but someone at the same stage of life.
He makes me laugh and laugh. We joke that we had to find someone to go to the garden centre with for a pensioners lunch. But we still have amazing sex and lots of fun.

alicepicalo Sun 07-Apr-13 20:48:53

Lemon the garden centre lunches and the amazing sex sound very appealing. Maybe I wouldn't be wasting my time after all wink

issey6cats Sun 07-Apr-13 21:11:23

im mid fifities and online dating have met a few men for actual dates have had some fun , met some frogs , met some nice guys same sort of age as me, some a bit younger, not anyone i would want to settle down with though, just filter the contacts dont reply to anyone you dont fancy and set your criteria five years either side of your age , you would be surpirsed some men are happy to date a lady a little older than themselves

hilbobaggins Sun 07-Apr-13 21:18:49

Of couse you should give it a try - its just another way to meet people. I i hate these blanket statements about "what men want" - i mean these are individuals for gods sake, and some of them might just want to meet someone they like.

If youre going to do some OD, please shut your ears to other people's opinions. Regardless of age there's always going to be someone out there who'll tell you that "you only meet weirdos on the Internet", or suchlike. Just see it for why it is - a way of coming into contact with men you wouldn't normally meet.

I met my DP online - I was 42 and informed more than once that men who wanted a family wouldn't be interested in a woman my age. Guess what? He's 8 years younger than me and our new baby is blossoming grin.

SunRaysthruClouds Sun 07-Apr-13 21:20:52

Hi OP.

If it helps I am a man aged 50, did on line dating 6 months ago and was only interested in meeting someone of my age (shared knowledge of teen years and all that stuff). I met a wonderful lady and all is great.

So just be your lovely self and I believe you will spot the right man when he appears.

I'm sure I am not the only one.

Walkacrossthesand Sun 07-Apr-13 21:29:32

Give it a try, Ali, but don't get too downhearted when the pace is slow - 20-30 year olds get a lot of traffic, we oldies not so much. But as others have said, you only need one! I'm still looking

VikingLady Sun 07-Apr-13 22:34:20

DM is 54 and has just started dating a man of 57 - he was looking for someone he had something in common with, shared cultural references, pastimes and so on. And (tmi for me!) she says the sex is fab!

Scrazy Sun 07-Apr-13 22:47:57

I'm over my half century and have had a profile on. I was getting messages off men of varying ages, some younger, so your age shouldn't only interest the OAP's. Give it a go.

JulietteMontague Mon 08-Apr-13 10:52:00

Yes it is definitely worth it, you do have to sift through a lot of 'options' but you are only looking for one grin.

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