Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What do you think?

(12 Posts)
Twiggy71 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:19:45

Near the end of my marriage my exh started to talk about a woman who he worked with saying she had recently separated was going to start retraining as a nurse. He ordered books online for her that she needed for her course ( why she couldn't do this for herself I don't know).

I was looking through a credit card statement one day when I seen a purchase for an expensive piece of jewellery ( credit card was in both our names though I usually never dealt with them). I hadn't a birthday coming up or any special occasion and when I asked my exh about the purchase he said it was something he had gotten me but had thought it was a bad idea as he had bought a necklace with the initial of my surname and not Christian name????

A few months after we separated exh had our dd on his weekend when he was taking Dd out for some lunch and just happened to bump into ex colleague and the three of them had lunch together.

To now exh has this ex colleague on his Facebook as a friend (he has very few friends on his Facebook) and also his sister in law has her as a friend also this person/ex colleague is older and lives in a different town to sis-in-law.

I have always read on mm that usually a man does not leave his family/wife etc (we were married 16 years and together for 19 years altogether) without someone usually in the background. He also kept me hanging on for months also saying he might come back after we had separated, until I put a stop to that by saying no more it's over.

Believe me when I say I am not losing any sleep over this we are over 4 1/2 years apart and I am going to start divorce proceedings very soon.
I know I will never know the truth as exh is a complete liar but what would you think of this scenario?

chocolatecakeystuff Sat 06-Apr-13 22:22:37


I think id draw the conclusion he's probably seeing her.

However I'm parannoid at the best of times.

Trust your instincts x

something2say Sat 06-Apr-13 22:27:07

I'd think four and a half years is a bit long to wait before meeting anyone new......

Twiggy71 Sat 06-Apr-13 22:30:58

Somethingtosay he met up with her supposedly with my Dd a few months after we separated.

Thanks choclateycakeystuff my instincts say there was something going on I just wondered what others thought.

whirligiggle Sat 06-Apr-13 22:33:20

Think you are probably spot on.

Twiggy71 Sun 07-Apr-13 14:24:09


thanks for your views everyone

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 07-Apr-13 15:30:28

"A few months after we separated exh had our dd on his weekend when he was taking Dd out for some lunch and just happened to bump into ex colleague and the three of them had lunch together."
Just happened? Hmm. Reminds me of the film 'Muriel's Wedding', when Muriel's father's mistress turns up in the restaurant - cries of 'what a coincidence' from father and mistress as mistress is invited to join the table ...

AnyFucker Sun 07-Apr-13 15:33:29

I think he had already started an affair with her before you split, and all the time he was equivocal it was still going on

Twiggy71 Sun 07-Apr-13 16:58:26

Thanks whereyouleftit and Anyfucker I have only told my dm in rl about all these things that had happened and she thought the same that something most likely had been going on.

I just really wanted other's wise opinions and where better than mn which was the first thing to help my understanding of everything after my separation.

AnyFucker Sun 07-Apr-13 17:18:59

Good luck with moving on, twiggy

There are better men out there than him x

Twiggy71 Sun 07-Apr-13 19:39:39

Thanks Anyfucker for your kind words.

AnyFucker Sun 07-Apr-13 20:10:28

You will be fine, with time and distance x

Easier said than done, of course..

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: