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DP Online Cheating- Will it ever stop???

(19 Posts)
tifskee Sat 06-Apr-13 11:40:31

Hi all - I'll make this quick. Literally just only happened and I'm still a bit shaky.
Went through DP emails. (I know... lack of trust and deceptive on my part). Came across several sexually fuelled email between DP and several girls. Pictures had been swapped. DP comes in; I don't attempt to hide what I have come across and I say to him, 'We need to talk.'
He gets angry and grumbles about me going through his email. To which I reply,' I don't trust you.'

Any advice please? I have moved up here and invested a lot to be close to him.

NutherChange Sat 06-Apr-13 11:46:51

tifshee it's not deceptive, the lack of trust came from a gut feeling that there was something wrong. What made you suspicious?

You need to consider that quite often this will not have been confined to situations online, but that your DP may well have cheated in RL too.

You need answers, he needs to start talking. IME, when they get angry, it's defensive as they have been found out.

CajaDeLaMemoria Sat 06-Apr-13 11:49:50

I have never known any man stop searching out thrills online when they've been caught doing it.

I think they get better at hiding it, or do it elsewhere, or set up new email addresses, and sometimes big periods pass without anything, but I've never known it not to rear it's head again at some point.

His reaction says a lot. His anger that you've looked through his email tops his guilt, and his compassion and love for you.

Fairenuff Sat 06-Apr-13 11:50:37

What did he say after you said I don't trust you. Did you have that talk with him?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 06-Apr-13 12:07:34

LTB.... He not only doesn't care what you think he's angry that you're even questioning his behaviour. You may have invested a lot but you're on a hiding to nothing if you stick around.

forgetmenots Sat 06-Apr-13 12:12:41

Agree with Cogito. Sorry you're going through this.

Fairenuff Sat 06-Apr-13 12:27:11

OP are you ok?

tifskee Sat 06-Apr-13 12:37:57

Thanks for the replies.
Had a chat with OP.
He has stated pretty much ' I'm sorry but I don't know what the issue is. It's not cheating and men are not supposed to be monogmous *sp. I will never meet them and I get bored.' I've ended it and am really angry. He won't stop doing this and won't put up with it. I've put a lot of work to move up north and be with him. A complete an utter loser.

NutherChange Sat 06-Apr-13 12:40:06

Sorry this has happened to you, but well done for ending it. You're absolutely right, what a dick he is.

AnyFucker Sat 06-Apr-13 12:42:59

You have ended it ?

Well done. You don't need an inadequate person such as him in your life .

forgetmenots Sat 06-Apr-13 12:46:17

Well dome tifskee. You have done the right thing. Have you got some friends or family you can go and see over the weekend?

Littleturkish Sat 06-Apr-13 12:47:58

Well done. The man is a creep.

TheOrchardKeeper Sat 06-Apr-13 12:57:30

that old 'men can't be monogamous/are meant to spread their seed' line hmm God, really?

Well done OP!! brew

LadyWidmerpool Sat 06-Apr-13 13:05:09

What a charmer. Well done OP flowers. Better to find out he's a tool now than in five years.

Fairylea Sat 06-Apr-13 13:10:58

Well done you.

He's an idiot !

Finola1step Sat 06-Apr-13 13:18:08

In answer to your first post, no it won't stop. But you know that now and I salute you on getting rid now.

Do you have children together? Mortgage? Are you financially independent?

RatPants Sat 06-Apr-13 13:54:39

Well done! I hate that old line too. By that line of reasoning, women should be shagging about left, right and centre to maximise their chances of getting pregnant.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Sat 06-Apr-13 19:22:29

Well done! Don't relent ever. You would never be happy with this inadequate misogynist and you deserve better.

Fairenuff Sat 06-Apr-13 23:51:02

Good for you! What an idiot he is. Have you moved out or what?

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