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(3 Posts)
LadyApricot Sat 06-Apr-13 11:28:22

Last night after a long talk/row, my dh and I have decided to separate. We have two dc's. main problems are 1. money (I've been told to cut back on food costs as I admitted I had been borrowing from his savings and paying it back routinely to get by) 2. His family have always caused problems being controlling and not willing to talk about problems resulting in bitchiness and back stabbing. I've been told to be more ' tolerable' and they don't like conflict or criticism.
3. He can't forgive me for upsetting them 2 years ago and is still angry now 4. He stays in bed all day and I have to do everything. All the decisions, all housework, all cooking and cleaning and always getting up early for the dc's- he believes as he works he doesn't need to do that 5. He wants to be a professional musician and is jacking his job in to do it. He used to be one before we met and he wants it back 6. I claimed he was emotionally abusive and he said that actually I am and I'm stopping him seeing his family. Not true- I've said they can visit any ins and I'm very welcoming however I don't like to stay away from home because of my anxiety disorder and ibs. He finds this bizarre and won't accept it.
There are plenty of other things and sorry for such a long post.
I don't know wether we should try again and of so where would we start? Are these problems normal married life issues?
Or should I stick to my guns and go ahead with the split?

Anniegetyourgun Sat 06-Apr-13 11:36:51

He's got savings which you, his wife, need to "borrow" in order to buy food? Is this caviare and champagne we're talking about?

You have to do all the housework, cooking, cleaning and childcare?

You have to be nice to his family but they don't have to be nice to you?

He's about to jack in his job in order to be a musician?

He denies and belittles your anxiety and IBS?

Exactly why would you want to try again? Where would you start indeed...

ps no, not normal married life issues IMO.

Loulybelle Sat 06-Apr-13 12:02:16

So we know:

Hes Lazy (my BIL works hard but he knows its not all down to my DSis)
He belittles you (I have IBS, and it can almost stop your life and make you miserable)
Hes angry that you upset his family (But he dont mind they upset you)
Hes planning to put what little family security you have on the line to be a musician.

Not much of a catch is he.

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