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Is it me or my mum?

(10 Posts)
workingitthrough Fri 05-Apr-13 20:31:13

I was visiting my mum last weekend. There were about 6 of us in the room having a conversation. At one point, someone said "Oh, you're wearing your engagement ring now." (I hadn't been wearing it last time I'd seen them as it needed resizing).

At this point my mum said "Workingitthrough doesn't wear make-up, and she doesn't wear jewellery. She never wears perfume either."

I was upset by it (not visibly at the time, but I mentioned it to her later). I took it as a negative comment about me, and I wondered if she had said it on purpose to embarrass me or something. And it annoyed me because I do wear make up and jewellery (not lots, but I do). When I told her I was upset, she said she hadn't thought anything of it, she hadn't meant it as a bad thing at all and she didn't mean to upset me.

So who's right? Am I totally overreacting to think that she said obviously said something negative about me that would embarrass me?

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay Fri 05-Apr-13 20:49:36

I don't honestly know. If the conversation literally took place as you said it did, I don't think I see what is upsetting about it?
Was there a tone of voice used? How did others react? If they didn't seem to, then it might be your over-reaction?
From that, and no background to the relationship between you and your mother, I can't see what the issue might be?

workingitthrough Fri 05-Apr-13 22:25:57

Thanks, that's what I wanted to know, an objective view.

olivertheoctopus Fri 05-Apr-13 22:29:55

Seems like a bit of an odd and mean thing to say.

SanctiMOMious Fri 05-Apr-13 22:48:23

does she have a history of encouraging you to "make more" of yourself..... ? i can see why that would be annoying.

workingitthrough Sat 06-Apr-13 15:38:21

She doesn't really have a history of wanting me to make more of myself, but overall through things she says/doesn't say and the way she acts, I get the impression that either a) she wishes I was more pretty, thinner, etc or b) she is jealous of me and has the urge to put me in my place when she sees me happy.

The thing is, we have had other problems in our past/present, and I wonder if it makes me over-analyse what she says, or makes me always think the worst ie. that she is trying to hurt me. On the other hand, I don't want to be unnecessarily oversensitive if it is all innocent. I feel like I'm going a bit crazy, like I can't tell what is real and what isn't.

Hissy Sat 06-Apr-13 17:21:36

I'd say your instincts seem to be working perfectly!

That wasn't a nice comment to make, and actually she had no place in commenting at all tbh.

Hissy Sat 06-Apr-13 17:23:02

I'd say your instincts seem to be working perfectly!

That wasn't a nice comment to make, and actually she had no place in commenting at all tbh.

Hissy Sat 06-Apr-13 17:23:36

Whoops, sorry, double phone posting!

workingitthrough Sat 06-Apr-13 20:48:27

Thanks, it's nice to know that I might not be crazy.

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