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Just want to rant about XH's lack of priorities.

(2 Posts)
PuddingsAndPies Fri 05-Apr-13 20:17:50

XH & I have a DS, who has a birthday next week. XH lives with a woman who has a son the same (pre-school) age, but for 2 or 3 days (not sure which). There has been a history with XH & his new P, where they haven't been fair to DS - she is very protective of her son (of course), but XH is more concerned about staying in her good books than he is protecting his own DS. There are several other issues with their set up, but many of them do not directly affect my DS (although I am concerned about hers to a point), so obviously I keep my nose out.

This weekend was supposed to be XH's weekend with DS, but tonight DS has started being very sick (my DP had the bug earlier in the week), so I texted XH to let him know, & offer to keep DS here (despite my plans), so as to not expose his DSS (not actually his SS, as they are unmarried, but for ease) to the bug too.

Despite the text, XH arrived here anyway (as I half expected, as he would've already been driving when DS started being sick) & said that he wouldn't be taking DS back to his. That was fine. DS would rather stay here anyway, to be honest. What I object to, is what followed.

I suggested that he take DS next weekend instead (next weekend is supposed to be DS's weekend with us, so he wouldn't have been seeing XH), but XH insists that he can't have him next weekend, because next weekend is all about his DSS. I suggested that he just make it a joint celebration - DS already has presents there from XH & XIL, and they were going to have a 'birthday tea' for him this weekend. It wouldn't take much to combine the two birthdays - the boys are still so young, & even if it was a birthday tea with two cakes if necessary, it wouldn't really detract from the boys' experience. I made these suggestions to facilitate the contact, but XH just said that he wouldn't be having DS next weekend, because it will 'all be about DSS', & DS would be in the way.

He said all of this in front of DS.

As it is, DS will have a lovely time with us next weekend, & would rather be here anyway - especially when ill. But I just can't help but be upset & angry that XH would rather bow down to his new P's wishes at the expense of DS. & to explain all of this in front of DS. & to wave goodbye to DS, saying 'you'll have your birthday presents in two weeks' sad

Sorry, I know this is a rant, & not even particularly unusual in terms of XH behaviour, but I'm home alone with DS tonight (DP is out at a pre-booked thing) & it's either type it all out here, or risk exploding!

Molly333 Tue 09-Apr-13 06:01:41

Umm been there , sorry to say my donnis now seven and hasn't seen his dad for two years now , his priorities increased and didn't include his children

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