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How often do you hear from grandparents?(31 Posts)
Just wondering, how often do you hear from your children's grandparents? Daily, weekly, monthly? Do they contact you just for a chat, about everyday stuff or just if there's something specific to say? How often do they ask about your children and what sort of things do they want to know?
There couldn't be more contrast between our two sets of grandparents, we have both extremes!!
Once or twice a week from DH's parents and every other day if not everyday from my parents. My parents get funny if they don't see DS at least once a week which pisses me off at times. DH's parents live over 100 miles away and we see them every couple of months which is fine.
My Mum, every other day
His Mum weekly
His Dad is dead and mine hasn't rang for 11 years now
On average about once a month. Sometimes just for a chat, sometimes it's someone's birthday or to organise a visit.
The kids see them about every 2 months.
We live 3 hours away from MIL, 4+ hours away from my parents.
My parents - every day (at least once) and I find it rather suffocating tbh. If I don't answer (e.g. if I'm on the loo) she rings every few minutes until I do and then demands to know why I didn't answer. If I'm out she seems offended that I actually go anywhere rather than sit around waiting for her to call . It's always my mum. Only speak to Dad if we phone and he answers
cos my mum is out . She usually want to know what gossip I have, which is generally fuck all because she only spoke to me 24 hours ago. She likes to talk to the kids but doesn't always hear what they're saying or doesn't understand the 3yo.
IL's - every 3-4 weeks maybe. They hardly ever call us. I find their attitude to family quite odd and distant anyway so I guess it's just their way. They generally speak to the kids (also not hearing what they say), ask dh polite questions then ramble about themselves. They don't speak to me
unless I'm unlucky enough to answer the phone
My parents are 2hrs away, IL's are 4hrs away.
Oh FIL will also randomly email Dh passive aggressive 'news' items (The sort that say "Hey look, the area you live in is a burglary hotspot") and 'helpful' advice ("You might want to review where your dcs' child trust funds are invested" while Dh & I roll our eyes at the idea of wasting time looking into it for the difference of about 1p a year)
We see my parents at least once a week as we live in the same village and we talk on the phone once or twice too. They usually take 6yo DD1 to town with them on a Saturday so she gets 1-2-1 time with them. PIL though are a completely different kettle of fish.
They live 6+ hours away (divorced so not together) and we are lucky to get a phonecall once every 6 months. DH is not particularly close to either and isn't one for calling to have a chat either but I do find their lack of contact with the GDs quite odd. I have FIL on Facebook so I am in touch with him more than DH. Neither called at Christmas, Easter nor on either DD's birthday and it makes me quite sad really. MIL visited last year when DD1 had just turned 1 and FIL has yet to see her at all.
My mum contacts me at least once a week and asks how everybody is. She also visits once a fortnight and we try to visit her once a fortnight.
My dad turns up without warning to drop off birthday gifts/Easter eggs but never calls, texts or emails.
My in-laws don't call, text, turn up or send gifts/cards for the children.
They all live within 10 miles of us, my mum is actually the furthest away.
DH and I are determined to be lovely grandparents as we feel sorry for our children having such crappy ones.
My parents (dad and step mum) live about 90 mins away, we see them every 2 months or so, speak at least weekly for a catch up.
I'm not exactly sure where my mother is, we've not spoken for 8 years, I'm not upset about that!
Mil lives in Northern Ireland (we're in Glasgow), see her roughly 3 monthly for a few days (she's coming next Tuesday until Friday) and also talk at least weekly.
Fil is a law unto himself. Dh calls him when he remembers. We get postcards from all sorts of places. I find him hard to talk to on the phone (he has a very thick German accent) but he's great fun to see in person, possibly twice a year or so. Been better since he got a lovely partner, Whois much better at keeping in touch than he is!
From my own grandmothers: one, not at all. Never have. Unpleasant woman.
The other: dislikes the phone but we have contact about once a month.
Children's grandparents: every few weeks at least, more usually. Both sides.
My MIL is about once a week to see DD and catch up. She works 2 jobs so sometimes it gets busy, but will call often if visits can't happen.
My mother will only call before or after holidays or events, and those are the only times we see her.
My father, when he feels like it.
I speak to my mother about once a year. (Dysfunctional family; I don't know my father and my 'social' father was abusive.) My MIL is dead and my FIL is remarried. We see him once every couple of months at most, though he does text from holidays to tell us what a good time he's having.
Good, supportive grandparents are a blessing not shared by everyone, sadly.
Since my mum got an iPad she facetimes
me ds almost everyday. In laws, when they have something to moan about. Usually us not visiting them. I have reminded them the road goes in both directions!
I am hoping the FaceTime addiction my mum has going on diminishes as she alway calls I that mad hour after supper before bed time!
Xmas was the last time do spoke to his dad, he forgot both ds' birthdays.
My dad rings every 2-3 months or emails. Card came the other day for ds1's birthday.
Dp's mum posts cards in for ds1's birthdays and forgets ds2's on purpose but supposedly wanted a fresh start a couple of months ago.
I don't speak to my mum but she passes my house every day walking her dogs.
All live local but are always 'too busy'.
DH's mum once in a blue moon and boys (11&9) have only met her once.
My parents every couple of months, they are just very busy (three homes), long holidays and quite self important/arrogant. My kids and us find them difficult to deal with as they always know best, talk at the kids and don't really listen.
I speak to my parents twice a week by 22 year old custom. DH and his parents speak every 2-3 weeks when they are in the country, but they don't contact us when they are on their many, extended holidays.
Both sets of gps live in different countries. I usually call my family every 1 - 2 weeks and if I don't then my mum will call me after about 2 weeks. They rarely speak to the dcs. The last time we saw them was last summer for a week.
MIL and FIL always expect dh to call them which he does every 2 weeks, they never call us. They speak briefly to the dcs every few months and we last saw them 4 years ago.
When they do visit us they spend an hour every day on the phone to SIL and her kids (who live a 15 minute car journey from PIL and who they see several times a week) whereas they can't even acknowledge my dcs birthdays with a brief phone call.
where do i start?
MIL, FIL dead.
my parents live five minute walk away. Cant be arsed to visit me or dcs.
they like to be visited and tell everyone about their grandchildren. they will not see them in holidays unless we go there. trouble is, they are 11 and 14 and prefer their own friends now. can you tell i am really pissed off with them. oh yes,
and dd is on school trip, all her friends were given euros by gps, mine didnt even get a fucking bag of sweets.
Bit different now they are teen - MiL texts and FB messages mine
Speak to both sets about once a week, text on top of that sometimes too and my PIL use Facebook (my parents don't) Unless of course there is something going on ie job interview, hospital visit for DS etc then there is normally an extra chat that day too. My DS is a very lucky boy and has 2 sets of gp's who adore him. Having not had that myself I really love that he does.
No ILs, as they died before DD was born. We see my parents every 1-2 weeks.
My family aren't great phone chatters, we just phone to ask if they are in for visitors. So we talk when we visit, not on the phone.
My parents are very close to DD (and their other 4 grandchildren), and DD does go to stay with them for a couple of days in the holidays.
Both of DH's parents have passed away, and as for my parents, well probably a call once every 6 months, if not longer or when I ring them.
My parents expect me to do all the running around and I'm at the point where I'm leaving them to contact me for a change. They haven't phoned for over 4 moths (not even to wish DS and DD a happy birthday) and when DH's mum was dying, they didn't ring to ask how she was or shown any concern. In fact, they didn't even phone to ask how the DC were coping with the loss of their beloved gran.
I look back now and wish I hadn't told them about my wonderful MIL's funeral until after the event.
dingit, are we sisters? Your folks sound just like mine. All full of how they're great GP's, yet they don't even visit. And they also only live 5mins walk from our house.
I've got to the point where I'm thinking "Feck'em".
Would your parents give off if you failed to tell them about your DC being ill? My mum phoned me up and gave me a right f***ing bollocking because I didn't ring her and tell her that DS had scarlet fever (about 4yrs ago now), even though I had text DSIL and DF and explained, to them, that I didn't have enough credit on my mobile to ring her. She certainly wasn't satisfied that I didn the best I could with the credit I had.
I did warn her that I was putting the phone down and will speak to her when she calmed down and was more rational. Needless to say, she told younger DB that I had 'slammed' the phone down and so, my DB called and gave me a bollocking.
I did speak to my DF about the whole thing and he said that I did just right. DH was raging and ready to go round there and tell mum a few home truths. Looking back, I should have let him go instead of stopping him .
My mum rings every other day, despite working long hours and being a carer for a relation. She loves to ask about the kids and tell me funny stories about what they got up to last time she minded them (maybe every 3 weeks she'll mind them for a few hours).
In-laws ring perhaps fortnightly, always at about 10pm, even though we have told them repeatedly that we have 2 young children (and I'll murder FIL if he wakes them up). When DH is talking to them they will conduct a conversation the same way each time. In-laws will ask the following:-
How's the weather there? (We live 30 miles from them)
How's church been? (We're all very involved in our churches, so fair enough question)
Have you been working long hours? (DH's answer is always 'yes' as he works long shifts, and I'm a SAHM.
How are the DC? (They ask about them without interest, the way you'd ask about the children of a stranger.
All that is peppered with fascinating facts about their hobbies, family members and what they've read in the Daily Mail.
I am a SAHM with 3 DC. I chat to my parents several times a week. I usually call them as they don't like to intrude know my busy life! (Both quite self-effacing.) They come to visit for the day once a week.
DH calls his parents approx once a fortnight. Again, they don't usually call us. They visit for the weekend about once every 2 months.
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