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Advice please, I'm ready to walk...

(12 Posts)
MrsBombastic Thu 04-Apr-13 21:54:07

I will try and keep it short...

Basically the husband has spent 2 hours screaming at me infront of 6 children, 3 are mine 3 are his from a previous relationship.

According to him I don't listen to him but according to him he doesn't tell me what's wrong as he doesn't want to burden me, do you understand that because I don't!

I talk to him all the time, I ask him if he is ok, if he is happy, if he is worried about anything, he either say's it's fine or he screams at me, now this.

I've just had enough. Whilst it's not a very regular thing this is how he communicates when he is stressed or he has crossed the line with me.

I have an issue with this because it is scarey, it's degrading and it's humiliating to be spoken to this way in front of my children. I also believe strongly that not only is he upsetting the children but that he screams because he knows they are listening; basically playing to an audience to get sympathy.

I've been with him 14 years, married for 5. I've been through so much and I'm still being pushed to my limits, I'm not coping.

What do I do? I love him but I can't live like this, I also have no where to go. I could stay with my mum and dad but I'm not leaving my kids behind and I don't want to upset everyone if I'm just going to go back.

Any advice welcome. Thanks. x

NoisyDay Thu 04-Apr-13 22:02:13

Hi,sorry you are having such a rough time. I am not much use to you,perhaps ask to have this moved to the relationship board here u will find loads of good advice. Though to me it sounds as if you should ask him to leave,not the other way round. Good luck

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 22:24:59

Firstly, you do not have to live like this. He is being abusive. Screaming at you is violent, threatening behaviour.

Does he do this to anyone else, or is it just you and the children?

You can call Womens Aid and they will give you all the advice you need in terms of where to look for legal help and financial assistance.

I also think you should ask mn to move this Relationships.

MrsBombastic Thu 04-Apr-13 22:28:56

Thanks, how do I get this thread moved? x

MrsBombastic Thu 04-Apr-13 22:31:03

He doesn't scream at the kids just me and because he's cross he thinks he's justified and the more I tell him to be quiet the louder he gets.

Basically he's crossed a line and now he doesn't know how to get out of it, I've packed most of my stuff.

I'm going to send his children to his mum's for the weekend and maybe go stay with my sister or mum for a few days.

I need some breathing space, I'm just afraid of upsetting the kids, he's turning them against me. :-(

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 22:32:48

Along the top of the post, where you name is, you can click on 'report' and you will get a message box. Just type into it that you would like your thread moved to Relationships because you've been advised that that would be a better place for it.

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 22:34:49

I think that's a really good idea. You need to tell people in real life what it's like for you and surround yourself with as much support from family and friends as you can.

MrsBombastic Thu 04-Apr-13 22:36:50

Thank you, I really appreciate that, you are right. x

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 04-Apr-13 22:39:36


We've moved this to 'Relationships' at the OP's request.

MrsBombastic Thu 04-Apr-13 22:46:38

Thanks. x

Fairenuff Fri 05-Apr-13 12:06:59

How are you today op? Are you still planning on getting away for the weekend?

hellsbellsmelons Fri 05-Apr-13 15:33:01

Well I don't think I could keep on loving someone who shouted at me and put me down in front of children.
What kind of example is he setting for the children.
I do hope you manage to get away and get some space to think things through.
To me, he sounds abusive and you shouldn't be putting up with it.
Good luck - let us know how you get on.

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