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Need help with getting on with my life.

(4 Posts)
flyingsolo Wed 03-Apr-13 19:25:49

My relationship of 7 years (with another woman) has just ended. I have two chldren nearly two and 3 and a half. My ex started acting strange so i read text and the messages were there. I confronted her and she said it wasnt a affair they jut kissed and sent flirtatious texts. She said she didnt love me anymore and didint want to be in a relationship with me, that she wasnt going to get together with this other person. I moved out the end of January. My daughter came homelast asking if she has a new mummuy because this person had slept in mummies bed. I feel once again cheated and lied to. Why not just tell the truth, that she had found someone else. .
I know you shouldnt but I got upset it kills me that my 3 year old says "its okay I will look after you" feeel so sad and such a let down to her, dont seem to be able to control my feelings.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 03-Apr-13 19:45:46

Children are OK with feelings. If you plastered on a smile and were unnaturally calm, they'd know you were faking it. However, you urgently need to talk to your ex as co-parent to co-parent. You both need to be able to rise above the personal fall-out and, whatever your differences, agree to act like mature & decent grown-ups for the sake of the children. Having a new lover sleep over when a long-term relationship has only just ended is not the act of a responsible parent.

flyingsolo Wed 03-Apr-13 19:59:43

I agree and have raised this issue, just to be told its none of my business what she does does with her personal life, which I replied it is if it involves my children, she stated that if it is a long term thing she will discus, I dont want my children to be part of flings and not know who is going to be in mummies house as they still call it. Where do I go from here. I just fel so low and unable to find the energy to sort things out.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 03-Apr-13 21:39:24

The only place you can really go from here is to set as good an example for your DCs as you can, keep busy and start carving out a better life. You can't change her behaviour or attitude, but you can decide to draw a line under it. Find things to occupy your day, places to go and people to be with who like you and make you feel good about yourself. You'll get energy from that.

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