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just fed up?

(10 Posts)
noclue2000 Tue 02-Apr-13 16:19:18

do you ever just get fed up with being in a relationship?
married 9 years, and right now i just don't really care. i don't really want to be with him.
i'm fed up with the sameyness of it all.
he is a nice guy, a good dad. but i'm just bored of it all. i feel like we are going through the motions of life.
i just feel like i'm here with him cause i'm needed, not cause i'm wanted by him.
i feel like his wife, kids mum, but not me, not a person.
is that normal?

Househunter Tue 02-Apr-13 16:34:25

Do you get time for yourself? Hobbies? See friends without him and the kids? It's so important to not lose sight of who you are.

noclue2000 Tue 02-Apr-13 16:37:33

i do get time to myself, not going out as such, but in the day when the kids are at school, and going to the gym.
he goes out one night a week.
it feels like we both have lives without eachother and then an existance together. like its habbit, not fun.

SanctuaryMoon Tue 02-Apr-13 17:30:35

flowers I can empathise, I feel the same a lot of the time. I feel like the wife, the mother, but not me. I work full time, as does my husband, and it can feel as though we are nothing more than house mates, our only mutual concern our lovely 2 year old.

I don't know what the answer is, there is a lot of resentment here, a lot of me being moody, him trying but also getting it wrong wink

noclue2000 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:02:20

The small stuff is realy pissing me off at the mo.
The things that show I think of him, and do things to make nice efforts for him. For example, I got him an easter egg, chocolate he loves, I also made sure the kids had them, but I got nothing.
I know its a pathetic example, but its symbolic of me thinking of him,but him not doing the same for me.

SanctuaryMoon Tue 02-Apr-13 18:28:05

Oh I know, like doing all the laundry, making sure we always have food, ensuring his family have birthday presents etc. He has got better, but nobody got Easter eggs here as I was ill and it wasn't on his radar. MIL got us some, she is lovely!

noclue2000 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:45:03

I just want some freedom.
And I think me wanting that shows a big issue in my marriage.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 02-Apr-13 18:59:13

I don't think it says that much about your marriage tbh. I think it just says that you're bored with the limited wife and mother life you've carved for yourself, have no outside interests, and you're looking to a man that has never been particularly exciting or romantic to provide the entertainment. Are you a SAHM? Did you have an education/career before you had kids or did marriage and family life start early?

Zilvernblue Tue 02-Apr-13 19:59:09

I felt like that OP, similar length of marriage, no DCs. I admit I "settled" and it was a successful enough relationship for several years, but we had nothing in common. I just wanted someone to do fun things with and I met someone else, and took the brave step of leaving to give it a chance. It only lasted two months, as it turned out, but tbh, those two months were so blissfully happy it was worth it. I would love for it to have lasted even two years, but I now have the attitude that marriage isn't really for me, and a successful relationship doesn't have to be one which lasts for the rest of your life.

noclue2000 Tue 02-Apr-13 20:05:14

Bit of it all.
I work pt.
Went to uni but was also married with 2 kids by 24.
I have interests, as does he, but WE seem to have nothing outside of the house and kids.

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