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How can I move on?

(3 Posts)
slategrayticktock Tue 02-Apr-13 03:56:30

Hi

DD2 was an unplanned surprise baby. The pill had failed.

I have a brain disorder and carrying on with the pregnancy was not without it risks. DP and I both agreed we will carry on. The pregnancu was hard and I ended uphving a C section under a general Anesthetic as induction never started my labour and my waters were broken so they couldnt leave me.

I ended up losing a lot of blood and having a blood transfusion then being very poorly in recovery.

Since DD2 has been born she has had severe reflux and has screamed moat of her 8weeks. She is bow on Gaviscon.

"D"P has kept saying "you wanted another I never" "I knew it would be hard""you decided to carry on with her"

We have argued about him saying it as we both decided to have sex and both decided to carry on wigh the pregnancy.

Since baby has arrived he has shouted at her, not done any night feeds (he has allowed me to do all of the night feeda then tidy the house and look after DD1, while I'm suffering with my health problems which he .oans about going to the hospital with me about and I cant go myslef through the treatment I would need ro have and as Dd is not allowed in the room while I have the treatment) All he does is moan about not getting enough sleep (he wakes up about 11-12 the next day, I'm unsure what time he goes to bed, not having time to go to the gym (he went to the gym and left me witb a 8day old DD2 and 4year old DD1 who was unwell when I had an infected section wound and very anemic, DD2 was bad with reflux and he also moans about not going on his xbox.

When he goes to the gym (every2days) he leaves with with the housework,tired and both girls. When I asked for time alone he said "what do you want to do" --ive cut off from friends as he was unhappy--and "you get plenty of time when DD2 is asleep.

Ice give in asking for time and jsut kept looking after DD's and the house.

Last night I asked him to look afterbaby while I catch up on some sleep (1am and baby gets up at 6). He moaned as he was going to go on the Xbox. But he did it. DD2 finally settled at 3am aparently and he went to dtraight o bed. He got up at 1pm and moaned all dag he was tired. I hd 5hours sleep and he still ecpected me to do everything.

Tobight I asked him the same and he moaned but said "OK" I went to bed at 11. He came up at 1 and said "I'm getting stressed you have her" I told him "you will have to do early morning" he said "I wobt get much sleep"and he went downstairs leaving me with a reflux baby screaming.

He came back up at 2 with a bottle for me (I never bf so he could help with night feeds). I got an ounce into DD2 and she feel asleep so I put her in the cot. She woke up so I asked him to see if she will take more. He was annoyed and moaned
DD2 took another ounce and feel asleep, he pdut her back in the cot.
Again she cried. He dragged her out of the cot and scaredhr so I took her off him and said "I might aswell get up with her". He then saud "Its YOU who wanted it" i was annoyed with him as he scares my baby and said that he bever wanted her again. So I told him to leave. He replied "U think ivr got depression " I told him if he really doesnt want baby and as he keep saying it he can go. He said he wont go for DD1. I came dowbstairs and DD2 fell asleep in. My arms.

So how do I move on? The gouse is a joibt tenancy, my DLA has bought majority of the stuff.

I cant atay with him anymore but I have nowhere else to go. Ive got bo family or friends.

(sorry about spelling or grammer I'm on my phone typing with one hand)

izzyizin Tue 02-Apr-13 04:15:31

I see no reason why you should leave your home but it is imperative that your lazy arse 'd'p is made to leave at the earliest opportunity because his behaviour to night, and on other occasions, indicates that your 8wo baby dd is at risk of physical harm from him.

Visit www.womensaid.org.uk to locate your nearest branch and give them a call tomorrow during usual working hours if the national 24/7 helpline is oversubscribed.

Please call your health visitor, confide in her, and don't be afraid if she reports what will become her concern to SS because he needs to be dragged out his cot home and given the fright of his life if you're to ever be able to trust him with the care of both or either of your dc.

Verbalpunchbag Tue 02-Apr-13 05:00:05

Did you say he shouted at your baby? And dragged it out of its cot? He must be deranged, you need to get rid of him asap, speak to social services, see if you can have the police remove him.

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