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Mum not coming to my wedding

(87 Posts)
Spottytin Mon 01-Apr-13 15:54:55

I'm getting married in four days time. My mother has just phoned to tell me it is too cold and therefore she won't be coming!

She suffers from rheumatoid arthritis, not a pleasant illness but she does have medication to keep it under control. She said she needs to think of herself, and the cold can make her symptoms worse, so she won't be coming.

We have an awkward relationship,, certainly on my side, and she has been pretty lacking at times as a parent. She had mental health issues as I was growing up and they're not all resolved now. I was almost expecting this, but still feel upset. It's only a small registry office wedding, but she's the only family I have!

Not even sure why I'm posting, just looking for some understanding I think.

Alwayscheerful Tue 09-Apr-13 10:19:49

My Mother cooked a roast dinner on a Sunday every week of my entire childhood. In fact come to think of it she has cooked one every sunday of her entire adult life. The sunday roast completely dominated Sundays.

I enjoy cooking Sunday lunch occasionally and think it is more appreciated when served occasionally, we all eat each too much and take food too much for granted. Children can be just as happy with Beans on toast, spaghetti bolognese or sandwiches with granary bread and a few crisps.

You sound like a lovely stepmum, the children will remember being happy and cared for more than any thing else. You are doing a great job.

Spottytin Tue 09-Apr-13 10:36:56

Ha ha the cake looked very nice, quite restrained decoration wise, although I didn't eat any of it, I don't particularly like cake. And I was too busy drinking wine chatting with people to eat.

It went down well with other guests though, my littlest DD had it for breakfast on the Saturday!

Hopasholic Tue 09-Apr-13 10:48:23

Congratulations flowers

I am quite surprised though that she stayed under her martyr cloak and didn't turn up!

You will have sent her a very clear message about what and who your priorities are. Well done!

Angelico Tue 09-Apr-13 10:57:44

Congrats OP and enjoy your days away smile thanks

SirBoobAlot Tue 09-Apr-13 11:00:24

Glad you still had a good day, congratulations flowers

Flossiechops Tue 09-Apr-13 11:27:08

Just read the whole thread. Huge congratulations op thanks I think you did exactly the right thing tbh

izzyizin Tue 09-Apr-13 11:53:42

Many congratulations thanks to both of you, Spotty, and here's wine to a long and happy life together.

Enjoy your honeymoon and when you next talk to your dm I suggest you adopt IB's suggestion and don't mention the war your blissful wedding day grin

ScarletWomanoftheVillage Tue 09-Apr-13 12:25:49

So glad you had a happy day!

ScarletWomanoftheVillage Tue 09-Apr-13 12:26:23

alwayscheerful wrong thread?

Kiriwawa Tue 09-Apr-13 16:36:05

Congratulations - so glad you enjoyed it smile

Alwayscheerful Tue 09-Apr-13 17:15:48

Sorry wrong thread.

LemonBreeland Tue 09-Apr-13 21:45:12

Congratulations I'm so pleased you had a happy relaxed day.

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