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Why do I always feel on the outside of things?

(4 Posts)
MiniEggsJumpedInMyBasket Sun 31-Mar-13 16:02:49

I don't remember feeling like it at primary school, but from secondary school onwards I've always felt on the outside of any friendship groups I am in. I was in a group of friends at school, I always felt that they were all warmer to each other than they were to me, and preferred the others to me. We are all still in contact with each other now, and although I'm still friends with them all I always feel like they don't value me and that I'm just "there".

It's the same in all other friendship groups I've had in my adult life. People like me (I think) and I have lots of friends but it's all always on a superficial level,and I think people think I'm just "there". I don't think anyone would give me priority as a friend or refer to me as one of their best friends, although I think most friends would say they like me. It's happened on online groups too.

I know it's probably my state of mind but I don't know how to change it really. Am I perhaps better off being on the outside of everything and staying in with everyone? Or I'm thinking perhaps groups of friends just aren't for me and I need to be friends with people on an individual basis?

rebecca87 Sun 31-Mar-13 16:06:12

Hi, just wanted to let you know your not on your own with this issue - I feel exactly the same. Kind of stings sometimes when people your friends with mention their best mate etc and I sit and think I don't have anyone who thinks of me like that - I don't know what to do about it either x

deliasmithy Sun 31-Mar-13 16:09:00

Sometimes in groups it can be hard to make individual connections.
For me, friendships are based on the sharing of personal information snd experiences, and being trust worthy and dependable. When I say friendships I mean the close ones.

Do you see these friends on a one to one basis some times?

MiniEggsJumpedInMyBasket Sun 31-Mar-13 16:10:19

Sorry to hear you feel the same way rebecca. I totally agree with you, it's horrible to think no one thinks of you as their best friend.

Deliasmithy, I have about 3 friends that I see individually and that aren't allied to any group as such, but generally people from the group I see as a group.

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