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12 weeks pregnant ,told my fiance and he wants me to have an abortion.. devastated!

(35 Posts)
minx1980 Fri 29-Mar-13 23:29:44

Hi Everyone, I have come on here for some advice- I have been with my fiance for nearly three years we have a child together who is 18 months and i have got children from a previous relationship.. I found out I was pregnant and i told him on tuesday this week- since then he has been awful over the phone to me although he claims he isn't saying he can't and won't go through having another baby and that if i really loved him and want to be a family in our new home that we have bought together recently then I will have to terminate the pregnancy. I have cried so much. He is or was my soul mate, the person i thought i could rely on.. I feel awful .. I can't go through with an abortion and live my life with such guilt.

I have been nice, calm. angry, cross, upset and all of these things have had no influence on what he has said.

The man i fell in love with is now willing to turn his back on me, his child ,and my children.

Will this sadness go? Will he come around to the idea of the new baby? I am desperate for advice.. My heart is in a million pieces..

minx1980 Sat 30-Mar-13 09:31:31

Your right, I am..

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 30-Mar-13 09:31:57

Well, now he has shown his true colours, do yourself (and your children) a favour and get shot of him, all he will do is bleed you dry and then when you have no more to give him (financially) he will leave. He doesn't want anything else from you. Why don't you live together?

minx1980 Sat 30-Mar-13 09:35:12

We have brought a new build that due to be completed the end of this year. Prior to that we brought a few places to let out. I wish i had the strength to be strong , i used too..

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 30-Mar-13 09:45:34

I think you need to focus on the practical, you sound like you have invested alot of money in this man fuckwit Have you protected your investment? I can't understand why a couple would invest in buy to let when they don't live together yet - do you own your own houses?

Loulybelle Sat 30-Mar-13 09:52:05

This relationship will be dead, abortion or not. If you did have an abortion, could you really look at him with the same emotions, because i think you would just see a man, who made you have an abortion.

You need to think long and hard about a long term future with him.

Lueji Sat 30-Mar-13 09:58:31

How much money have you actually invested in him?

Anyway, you know who he is and what you need to do.

So, basically sending hugs. sad

And saying that there are good out men out there. You do have to look at the signs there first.
Please do not let yourself taken advantage of next time.
Firm boundaries.

minx1980 Sat 30-Mar-13 10:19:58

He just text me to say that he wants to see me today but later on , that i have bombarded him with dreadful news this week (Tuesday) that he has only had 8 hours sleep in four nights because he is so depressed. I wish i could get a hug, some reassurance..but i'm alone.. Thanks for all your kind words.

minx1980 Sat 30-Mar-13 10:22:14

Oh we invested in buy to lets to pay for the mortgage on our new one that we are due to move in to at the end of the year. I hope it gets easier to deal with. It's frightening.

Dahlen Sat 30-Mar-13 11:06:47

IF you're going to remove any life from your own, it needs to be the fiancé. I thought only horny 16-year-old boys used the line "if you really loved me you'd..."

He's a psychologically abusive cocklodger.

So sorry you're going through this, but in the few short posts from you I've seen already, you're worth far, far more than him and will cope perfectly well on your own.

AmandaCooper Mon 01-Apr-13 14:44:21

lucyellensmum sometimes good people say bad things in difficult circumstances - particularly where they've had a bit of a shock. From the later posts I'm thinking that's not the case here though OP.

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