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Text advice

(32 Posts)
12KBW Fri 29-Mar-13 15:06:15

Hi I'm a newbie
I'd like some advice please on an issue that's just arisen. It makes me sound about 16 creating this thread. I've met a man at work very recently, he's a builder in doing some refurb work. He and I started flirting and we exchanged numbers. We are both in relationships, mine is long-term but his is with a woman he's known 8 months and seen twice in that time as she lives far off. At first he said he didn't know where we could go with a relationship due to neither of us being single. I stopped texting and after a few days he contacted me again saying "I give in, hope you are ok xxx". I wasn't sure what he meant but we recommenced texting. Last night we were working late, alone and the cliched thing happened. It was pretty amazing but after I left the office he sent lots of texts and I'm now v confused.
First off he text that he'd had a text from his girlfriend saying she hoped he'd had a nice day and was missing him and he felt terrible, what have we done? Then he said that was crazy then a 3rd text all within about 1 min to say "you are very hot xx" I said it was so good, he agreed but said don't I feel bad? Over the course of the evening we exchanged texts where he said he felt terrible after I'd left but felt we'd clicked straight away and he didn't think we'd do anything but have harmless fun but we went way past that.
I saw him this morning and he was seemingly pretty happy and I text that I didn't expect to see him in the office, did he sleep there? He replied straight away "I'm a machine, haha xxx"
My query really is whether he was trying to end it last night or just saying he felt guilty. He didn't end it but I was surprised how bad he seemed to feel, it was his first time of doing anything like this apparently. This morning I thought he might avoid me but he certainly didn't, in fact he came up to where I was working but other people were there so we didn't really talk, he just made conversation with me. I wonder if he wanted me to reply with "I'll say" or something to his machine comment?
I'm confused about how I feel about him. I haven't replied. What shall I do??

KareninsGirl Sat 30-Mar-13 17:21:53

Umm, don't you feel guilty at all? Hello? Your long term partner? Remember him/her?

Nirvana1999 Sat 30-Mar-13 17:35:22

What exactly are you looking for? Why are you looking into this so deeply, it was a quick shag, his thought process is probably getting another shag before he leaves your work place.

Do your partner a favour and end the relationship, you don't sound mature enough for it. Poor guy.

bestsonever Sat 30-Mar-13 23:59:37

He's assuming that you would feel guilty being in a long-term relationship and may be, as we mostly are too, confused as to why you seemingly have no guilt or remorse. By appearing to empathise with perceived guilt, it would normally open up a conversation which would tell him whether you feel too guilty or if it's still on for a repeat. I entirely get where why he texted that. He is probably surprised (as some of us are) but pleased that you don't give a damn about your BF'sfeelings. Now why you could not work this out and need it explaining is a whole other matter, seems you know very little about life almost like a teenager?

Jaynebxl Sun 31-Mar-13 02:21:12

I hate this attitude of "the cliche thing happened", neither of us expected it to happen and then it did rubbish. Sex is not something with its own mind that decides on it's own accord to happen ... It happened because you chose to make it happen. Now you can choose to stop it or to make it happen again. But first please stop making excuses about your current relationship and sort that out first.

BOEUF Sun 31-Mar-13 02:33:00

He wants to know if you will dump your boyfriend for him because he doesn't want to dump his girlfriend otherwise. That's all.

BOEUF Sun 31-Mar-13 02:49:23

It's interesting though that you are making yourself sound like a helpless victim of fate, whereas you are implying that he is behaving like some kind of player. The circumstances and things he has said though imply that he is genuinely interested in you, and that he would call time on his relatively casual relationship if you gave him the nod.

clam Sun 31-Mar-13 08:34:42

I would give any relationship between the two of you a cat's chance in Hell of lasting more than 5 minutes, given the way it's started. We'll see you on here in a week month or two, complaining that you've caught him out shagging someone else. Quelle surprise!

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