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Skating on the surface of life

(3 Posts)
lightsandshapes Thu 28-Mar-13 14:31:14

Sometimes I worry that I'm skating on the surface of friend relationships. I have friends, but I feel there is an invisible barrier and I do t really know how to cross it. Others just seem more 'pally' than me. What sorts of things do others do / share/ say with their friends. How often do you meet and what do you do when you meet up. I don't feel I have any bosom buddies, just fairly superficial friendships. How do people get past this to a deeper relationship with people. I'm 36 and starting to feel a bit lonely and isolated because of this. I spend most of my time working or caring for ds1 so this could be a factor. But other people manage it.....

gertrudestein Thu 28-Mar-13 16:15:21

Hi lightsandahapes, not sure if I can help but didn't want to read and run.

I'm 32 and have lots of different kind oif friendships. I go for weeks without seeing anyone except dp and work colleagues, but when we do meet up I sometimes feel really close to friends, and sometimes not at all close. I think I tend to have quite deep conversations with people, and to talk about feelings and ideas rather than jobs/ lifestyle/ weather etc.
But I often feel awkward and lonely. I particularly hate FB which makes it look like other people spend all their time socialising and having fun!

I don't think thre tv ideal of best mates who call each other up about every last thing or meet regularly just to catch up exists beyond the teenage years anyway. We are all far too busy as adults

It sounds like you miss adult company though. Do you know any other mums with kids the same age as ds? Can you get any time for yourself, to do the things that make you feel like 'you'?

DoingItForMyself Thu 28-Mar-13 16:29:27

I think the best way to make friends or get to know people better is just with tea & biscuits while the DCs play. How old is your DS? When they are younger its more likely that parents will stay while they play, but if not then ask the friend's mum if she wants to collect him a bit earlier and stop for a cuppa. Its only by doing that on a regular basis that you'll get to know different people and see who you click with.

I have a few friends who I meet maybe once a month for a catch up, others who I will go for a drink maybe 3 or 4 times a year, others I've known for years who I may see once a year. As for what we talk about, mainly moaning about kids & men!

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