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I need a rant. So pissed off

(72 Posts)
parisfernandez Thu 28-Mar-13 10:19:22

Hi i need to vent, so I'm using this. Friends are useless and family live miles away.

My useless cocklodger bf has been out of work for the past 3 months. Every day he sits on the play station, eating all the food I've put in the cupboards and fridge and he doesn't lift a finger. He leaves all his dirty plates lying around (im in the living room just now and i can see 4) and as soon as he feels like it hes off to the pub. With my money.

I'm 6 months pregnant, work 45 hours a week and we have a 4 year old. He refuses to look after the little one whilst I work forcing me to use family members when I can and a very expensive nursery most of the time. To be honest, I don't really trust him to look after her anyway because he is too selfish. I'm on supermarket wages so im not left with a lot. I pay all the rent, council tax and bills and he contributes nothing at all. Never has done. This morning he has an appointment with the job centre. I got up really early to start the housework before work (12pm start) and he kicked off saying I was making too much noise. I decided to have a bath (showers broken he won't fix it) and again he kicked off because I was using the hot water and he needed it (I pay for it). I gave up and had a wash (I'll shower at work later) and left him to it. He got out the bath and kicked off because he couldn't find a pair of jeans that he had given to me 3 weeks ago (it was 3 days ago) to wash. I can't find them and they must be in a pile of washing somewhere. This resulted in me being told how awful I am and how lazy I am. Every other woman manages to have all the washing, ironing and drying done and I can't keep on top or it. I tried explaining that I'm 6 months pregnant, tired and exhausted from working 6 days a week and trying to look after a 4 year old too. He just doesn't understand. He doesn't do any housework at all and never helps with the washing. He doesn't even know how to use the washing machine and when I offer to show him he says no that's woman's work.

I got some money today (im entitled to a small amount of tax credit) and hes now just went off on one saying he's due his friend £400 and he needs all the money out the bank. I've said no and now he's threatening to kill himself unless I give it to him.

Over the past few weeks I've given him nearly £2000 and never even got help in return. He just expects it.

I've managed to get a lease that's just in my name so I've got the rights to the house.

I'm working all the hours I can to please him. I've had enough.

How do you kick someone out if they refuse to leave?

So bloody angry

Sorry it's so long

I'm 25, he's 37.

dopeysheep Fri 29-Mar-13 21:19:40

That's fantastic I'm so chuffed for you!
I would actually keep the suicide threat texts because when he starts to think about controlling you via the children you will have a good case that a suicidal man who has threatened to hang themselves should never be left unsupervised with children.

Good on you and your family hope you have a happy future :-)

lemonstartree Fri 29-Mar-13 21:07:03

what a total waste of space he is.

well done for getting rid. please do not ever have him back. Your life just got one whole lot easier !

I bet you are lovely, kind, generous and hardworking. You are a prize for a nice man... please believe that :-)

FarBetterNow Fri 29-Mar-13 20:37:08

You are NOT ugly.
You are beautiful.
You are a beautiful person.

Please, do NOT have that nob back in your life.
Please, do not ever feel sorry for him whatever sob story he comes out with.

Well done you.

Best wishes for your new wonderful nob free life.

Squitten Fri 29-Mar-13 20:16:10

Very glad to hear it OP!

Block his phone number so you don't have to listen to his melodrama. If he really wanted to kill himself, he'd have done it already instead of telling you about it endlessly instead. What a tool!

NinaHeart Fri 29-Mar-13 16:34:26

Well done Paris. I am so pleased for you. Now, onwards and upwards. Life's getting better every minute.
Happy Easter (the season of new life)

Jux Fri 29-Mar-13 16:10:19

Hooray!!!! Well done you!

Block him on every technical thing you've got. Change your sim and don't give him the new number. Block him on fb, twitter, whatever. Mark any emails as Trash.

You are now looking at a happier, richer life - psychologically and materially. Have a great Easter [happy]

Helltotheno Fri 29-Mar-13 15:25:36

Good for you! smile

And as for this, Younger people who are single parents are generally looked down on, hold your head up high. Only seriously narrow-minded judgers would look down on a mum looking after her kids and doing something with her life. You can see how the judgers are getting on when you get to the finish line wink

Ignore his messages. Don't open them if possible. I think there's a very small risk because usually the people who shout about stuff like that and use it as emotional blackmail wouldn't have the courage to go through with it. And you know what, even if he did, it would still be nothing to do with anything you did....

Ruprekt Fri 29-Mar-13 15:19:27

Oh wow!! Good for you!

Have a fab hassle free, relaxing weekend. smilesmile

VisualiseAHorse Fri 29-Mar-13 14:11:27

Yay - excellent news!

Oh, and you are NOT UGLY! You are brave, strong, a hard worker, and a wonderful mother.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Fri 29-Mar-13 14:08:56

Yay!! Well done you.
The fact all it took was your dad speaks volumes rather then'i love your daughter' he just scarpered

ShipwreckedAndComatose Fri 29-Mar-13 14:06:54

just read this thread.. yay!! good for you smile

VisualiseAHorse Fri 29-Mar-13 14:06:30

God I would be so tempted to say 'well, kill yourself then. You do fuck-all around here anyway so you wouldn't be missed'.

I realise that it not a helpful answer. I agree with PP - ring the police and have him removed.

Sunshinewithshowers Fri 29-Mar-13 13:55:36

Well done OP, good for you.

Did you get the key back?

Keep strong, it gets easier every single day.

My ex has been gone 8 weeks now & Im due in less than 4.

Its bloody lovely without him, you keep going, you are more than worth it.


Meluna Fri 29-Mar-13 13:41:23

That's great - you can have a really Good Friday grin. He sounded a really horrible,lazy old bastard, you're well rid.

ChippingInIsEggceptional Fri 29-Mar-13 13:37:47

Well done!!

Are you in any danger of caving in and letting him come back or are you totally over the bell end behaviour?

Who gives a flying fuck what strangers think? You have done what was best for you and your kids nothing else matters.

Keep your Dad on speed dial!

If the stupid fucking twat wants any 'contact time' with the kids, REFUSE. Tell him he will have to take you to court. Otherwise I can see him threatening to keep the kids or worse sad

IF and it's a bloody big IF he were to actually go through with the rope (and I seriously doubt there's any chance of it) it would NOT be your fault. He's an adult, it's his life and his responsiblity.

NeedlesCuties Fri 29-Mar-13 13:33:28

You've done a great thing, OP.

Am sending you a brew and an Easter egg grin

Your children will be much better off without that freeloader weighing you down

TheVermiciousKnid Fri 29-Mar-13 13:31:24

Well done! smile Reading your last post has really cheered me up. You should be proud of yourself!

parisfernandez Fri 29-Mar-13 13:27:37

Hes gone smile

My lovely dad and his friends only had to show up and he was out the house quicker than I've ever seen him move before. I'm currently packing his stuff up for him and he sent me several texts telling me he's got a rope and hes away to hang himself. I know 99% that he hasn't got the guts to do it but there is a part of me that hopes he doesn't go through with it.

Hes put me through far too much and im not going to put up with it. I'd rather have all the nasty comments under the sun about being a single parent than putting up with him. Younger people who are single parents are generally looked down on but people can think what they want. I've done what's best for myself and my kids and im so proud of myself. Thanks everyone.

Jux Fri 29-Mar-13 11:02:07

Listen to your family. Do not let the vile bastard abuser back in your home.

Live a lovely life without him, showing your dcs that women are not slaves to men and that men should be respectful towards women.

Anniegetyourgun Fri 29-Mar-13 10:18:27

Gold digger? Who on earth would ever be able to accuse you of being a gold digger? Your useless soon-to-be-ex P is one. Someone who wants someone else to pay all the bills in exchange for - well, for what? Wanting the person you live with to pull their weight - whether financially, practically or even just emotionally - is not gold digging. It's a reasonable expectation from a partnership. I'd go so far as to say it's the bare minimum anyone should expect.

badtime Fri 29-Mar-13 09:31:02

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
-Roald Dahl, The Twits

He is ugly, and you are lovely. He does not deserve you in any way.

Ruprekt Fri 29-Mar-13 08:56:38

Bump for Paris smilesmile

Ruprekt Fri 29-Mar-13 08:33:31

Come on Paris...... Don't be like those posters who come on and moan, look at the advice and then keep putting up with all the crap.

He is of NO use to you at all.

You can raise these children alone with the help of your family.

He is sucking the life out of you and you are only 25!!

You will be so much better off without him and richer too.

Shame on him for not being able to support his family. I could not respect such a man.

Pack a bag for him now and say he can collect the rest of his stuff next week.

Kick him out.

Do it NOW!!smile

NeedlesCuties Fri 29-Mar-13 08:23:33

Get him out, then when he goes RUN FOR THE HILLS.

He brings nothing to your life apart from grief, and that isn't good for you or the DC.

I second all the advice given here - get your dad round and change the locks.

You're very wise to have the house in your name.

imaginethat Fri 29-Mar-13 04:27:01

Wow you must have zero self esteem to put up with this crap.

You will be infinitely better off without him.

Please let your dad remove him and transfer your energy to building your confidence. Overweight and ugly indeed. You are a much loved mum and daughter, and obviously you are an excellent worker. What you need is to look after yourself better which can do once you are rid of that resident waste of space.

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