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DP feels more like a flatmate than a boyfriend

(2 Posts)
Vespar7 Thu 28-Mar-13 08:02:43

DD was born 5 months ago and for the last few months I feel like I have been growing apart from DP. DD sleeps pretty well so there are no sleep deprivation issues and DP helps out with DD and housework so no resentment or anything there.

We have recently moved abroad to where DP comes from and I think being stuck in a tiny village not being able to drive yet has made me a bit moody but I find myself pushing DP away when he tries to be affectionate which makes the whole situation worse. I feel bad for him because it can't be much fun living with someone who all of a sudden is in a bad mood but sometimes when he tries to be affectionate it feels like the distance between us is too much.

I've tried talking to him and he doesn't really seem to get it. He just says that when I'm moody I am pushing us even further apart. I am annoying myself but I just don't know how to stop myself feeling like this.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 28-Mar-13 08:13:04

It's understandable that you feel cut off if you're in another country, trapped in a small village with no car. As it's his country, was it his initiative to make the move, or were you fully involved in the decision? Had you really thought it through or was there any element of being coerced or rushed?

It's unhelpful that attempts to talk to him about how isolated you feel are thrown back as you 'being moody'. That's a bit of a fob off. Instead, you need to sit down as a team and work out what you can practically do to improve matters. Learning to drive seems to be high on the agenda. Of course, if it turns out you've made a big mistake relocating, that has to be on the table as well.

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