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No pyjamas . AIBU ?

(87 Posts)
Ectotherm Tue 26-Mar-13 17:55:58

I am fed up with the cold weather and feel it more than my DH seems to. He is lovely, but does have a thing about me being always naked in bed. We have an electric blanket on my side which has to be turned off when you get in and does not last long. Plus a good duvet. But I am still always cold for a bit and he does not like me wearing pyjamas or a nightie, or even a vest top. Sulks and thinks what we have plus his hot body should be enough for me.

Smuffy Tue 26-Mar-13 17:57:05

What the fuck?


Wear what you want

EvenBetter Tue 26-Mar-13 17:57:51

Wtf? You're a grown woman, wear whatever you want.
Personally I find adults who sulk and control deeply repugnant and do the opposite of what they demand.

happystory Tue 26-Mar-13 17:59:48

its pyjama weather, woman! dh does mutter about passion killers, i ignore him!

lottiegarbanzo Tue 26-Mar-13 18:00:09

You are joking?

Why would you want to sleep with someone who tells you what you want rather than asking you?

SofaKing Tue 26-Mar-13 18:00:47

Dh is always trying to convince me of the merits of sleeping naked - it is winter and I love my jammies so he can forget about it.

If he didn't like me wearing jammies it would be tough. No one should dictate what you wear!

CartedOff Tue 26-Mar-13 18:01:59

Sulks? Sulks???

I'm speechless.

That's beyond ridiculous.

MortifiedAdams Tue 26-Mar-13 18:02:30

Interesting first post.


Signet2012 Tue 26-Mar-13 18:04:15

I wear bed socks tucked into oversize jiggers and dp t shirt.

He laughs and says be easier to rob the Crown Jewels than to get past my many layers!

He wouldn't dream of sulking or controlling me in that manner. And if he did ill tell him to fuck off!
Him sleeping naked bugs me but I don't ask him to wear bottoms?! It's his choice!

piprabbit Tue 26-Mar-13 18:05:44

Borrow a mummy-style sleeping bag and sleep in that for a couple of nights - very cosy. He'll probably be relieved if you ever return to only using PJs.

Ectotherm Tue 26-Mar-13 18:05:57

Not first post, name changed as some people know who I am . This is genuine stuff. It is interesting that other men seem to share his view. Personally, I wouldn't care if he wore something himself or not. Plus it is difficult to feel sexy when you are cold. He thinks it is difficult to feel sexy about a woman in pyjamas. Says the main reason is that he loves the feel of my body. Hmm. Need to compromise somewhere.

wordyBird Tue 26-Mar-13 18:15:55

If he cares about you, he ought to care about your comfort and happiness more than his own needs.

Ok, I'm sure you will give him the full on sexy nude bit when you want to, because you care about his happiness. But come on - it's freezing. You're a human being, not an entertainment centre.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 26-Mar-13 18:18:16

'The main reason is he loves the feel of my body' - again, it's all about what he wants isn't it? and what he wants 'should be enough for you', right.

Has it ever occurred to him to ask what you want (in bed or otherwise) and strive to achieve it? Why would you want to share a bed with someone so selfish? He must be a terrible shag!

Clargo55 Tue 26-Mar-13 18:32:06


Coffee1Sugar Tue 26-Mar-13 18:34:38

Are you serious? It's jammies weather

OxfordBags Tue 26-Mar-13 18:48:00

Erm, since when does he have ANY say about what happens to your body?! It is absolutely none of his business what you wear to sleep in. he doesn't get to demand that he sleeps next to a sexy, naked body. If he's that pathetic and can only see you as some sort of object to facilitate what helikes, regardless of your needs and wants, then he should get oneof those realistic sex dolls, FFS.

Why is it so important that he needs to be made to feel sexy, anyway? And why does he need to feel sexy when you're sleeping? He's an adult, isn't he?! Sulking because he doesn't get to dictate how you sleep?! Yeah, like that's the turn-on of the year! The only compromise required is that he stops being such a twat that treats you like an object that exists solely to please him.

Oh, and just because one other poster's partner likes her to sleep naked, doesn't mean lots of other men are the same as yours. And her bloke doesn't get the arse about her wearing pjs, either.

That a man would demand this makes me think of the T word (bridges, goats, etc.), because it's so outlandishly selfish and sexist that I struggle to believe someone would behave like it.

Or, more importantly, that you would entertain such crap. <gives OP a long, hard stare>

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 18:55:34


Bare arse with woolly hat, socks and gloves added benefit of hiding hairy hands

Solaia Tue 26-Mar-13 19:02:50

WTF? Your husband tells you not to wear pyjamas in bed and you go along with it? It's a bed, it's for sleeping in and your comfort and warmth should be the priority. Surely you can just remove the pyjamas for sex?

Of course men like naked women in the beds but most don't insist on it at all times or tells their partners not to wear pyjamas.

HotCrossPun Tue 26-Mar-13 19:09:15

If this is a serious post then...WTF?!

I've never considered whether my DP found my p.js sexy or not.

Currently I'm wearing tartan pyjama bottoms, a sports bra, long sleeved top, thick woolly socks, and a leopard print 'snood' type thing. I look HOT.

Ectotherm Tue 26-Mar-13 19:26:31

He doesn't order me , it is more a bit of a pouted lip if I suggest I am cold and need to wear a t-shirt or whatever. He is kind and very loving but touch is very important to him. Possibly childhood issues, just a suspicion. I can assure you I am not a troll. This really is my nightly issue. Well, cold night issue anyway .
We are still a fairly new marriage ( together 4 years, married for 2 ) , so possibly honeymoon phase to an extent esp for him.. What did I want from coming here ? Just to be honest with myself that it was bugging me and give me some garnered strength to talk to him about it . Will do so, thanks all.

JudithIscariot Tue 26-Mar-13 19:29:21

He is being a twat. Wear what you want in bed.

flowerflo Tue 26-Mar-13 19:31:50

Hotcrosspun - are you me? I'm in an almost identical outfit! I'm always cold so wear pj's all year round. Don't think dp would dare suggest otherwise smile Just speak to him about it. It shouldn't be a big deal really and if it is, it's his issue to work out, not yours. Imagine it was the other way round and you were forcing him to wear clothes in bed. I'm sure he wouldn't do it. Good luck

Ragwort Tue 26-Mar-13 19:32:21

Bloody hell, are you for real? hmm

I am sure my DH would love me to go to bed naked, or wearing 'baby olls' <do they still exist?> - there is no way I am getting out of my cosie pjs.

Tough, does your DH do 'everything you want to make you happy' all of the time?

Ragwort Tue 26-Mar-13 19:32:53

ha ha - what are baby olls? grin

MysteriousHamster Tue 26-Mar-13 19:33:19

Just wear what you want! You can take it off if things get heated and put it back on after you know...

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