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Fancy sharing your frenemy stories with me?

(4 Posts)
daintree3 Tue 26-Mar-13 16:36:30

I seem to be a bit of a magnet for frenemies; I can think of 3 that I've had, and had to phase out of my life. I do have decent friends too but for some reason I attract frenemies. I think I am too nice and I put up with a lot before I snap...

First frenemy was my best friend at school; seemed very lovely and a very good friend but was often doing things behind my back such as saying things about me to others, and telling others I'd said things about them when I hadn't. Then she'd tell me that so-and-so didn't like me, but not to worry as I had her. Very manipulative individual. I was glad when we left school, went to separate sixth forms and I was able to phase her out. She then attached herself to a new 'best friend' at her sixth form and did a similar thing to her.

I then had a frenemy at college. She really loved herself and thought she was gorgeous, and our whole friendship was based upon her bigging herself up and saying who fancied her, how gorgeous she was, how much money she had, along with little digs and backhanded compliments to me, disguised as if they were compliments and delivered with a smile, so I was never sure until I thought about it whether they were insults or not. Little gems included 'I don't think you're particularly pretty but you've got a nice personality so don't let it bother you' 'Ah that dress really suits you, it's nice to see you in something that actually makes your figure look ok'

Third frenemy is someone that I actually had in my life for around 7 years and I've only recently managed to phase her out. I wish I'd done it years ago, but I always thought she was a friend who put her foot in it and had no tact, but over time (and through hearing about other peoples' experiences with her) I realised she was actually extremely toxic. Our DDs were best friends at school for a few years and if they argued she would automatically blame my DD and phone me up raging about it, and always had a bit of a downer on DD. She would, like my college friend, make backhanded compliments, and she prided herself on her 'honesty' which was actually total, blunt rudeness. It also had to be on her terms all the time. She'd do things like phone me on my landline, chat, then say 'wait a second my mobile is ringing' then expect me to wait on the landline whilst she had a 10 minute chat with another friend, and then make out I was a bad friend because I put my phone down after a minute or two. She also left a really nasty message on my answerphone when my youngest child was 2 weeks old and I'd been very ill with mastitis, because I hadn't contacted her and she wanted to go to the pub with me!

Her comments also extended to being about my DDs. I was looking at registering DD1 with a modelling agency and I mentioned it to said friend who sniggered loudly and said 'It's a very competitive industry and only really pretty girls can do it', and she also said comments like 'your DD could be such a pretty girl if you got her teeth straightened'.

Everything was delivered with such a smile, and a tone as if she had my wellbeing at heart and was just being a 'true friend' that I let her get away with it for so long. But about 2 months ago she said something very very unpleasant and personal and something in me snapped. I started avoiding her calls, not replying to texts and being very cool with her when I saw her. She is getting the message now, although I do have to see her at the school a lot. I didn't think there was any point confronting her as she thinks she is in the right all the time and would probably try to turn it back round onto me.

Anyone else got any frenemy stories?

issypiggle Tue 26-Mar-13 16:53:21

i havent spoken to one for 2 years when dd was born, and i became 'boring' and wouldn't go out. didn't help i had PND. She's recently got in contact with me again, telling me that she was pregnant and had heard from a mutual friend (who i haven't spoken to for 7 years, but see occasionally if i go back to my hometown) that i was pregnant and getting hitched so chat to me about meeting up to discuss baby things.

after informing this 'friend' that i was neither pregnant or getting married, i discovered that they had been discussing that i was the size of a house so must be pregnant and must be getting married to DP as i was desperate and that blokes felt sorry for me.

1 of these girls were supposed to look after me when i first started a new school and the other had been a friend all through secondary school. only to discover that they thought i was a 'tramp' and 'poor' as i couldn't afford to get the expensive presents that their parents could give them money to get for their friends (i had to save my pocket money up for presents).

Darkesteyes Tue 26-Mar-13 17:00:13

Heres mine. Make yourself a cup of tea first. Its long and complicated.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1716376-To-think-that-this-person-may-have-ulterior-motives

Loulybelle Tue 26-Mar-13 17:27:22

I had 2 frenemies at the same time.

Girl 1) Told her mum that i was pushing her to do drugs (bullshit lie, Drugs are the stain of humanity, and i've never ever done them), havent spoken to her since, about 10 years now i think.

Girl 2) Told me that my other friend, who im still friends with, asked her out, i told this to the girl im still friends with, she pissed herself laughing. Girl 2, Cut me out of her life for daring to text a lad she knew, then proceeded to write a bitchy letter to my mum, calling her a bad mum. That was also about 10 years ago, shes tried to get in contact, but i've ignored it, not interested at all.

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