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Dating thread number 48 :-)

(1000 Posts)
MirandaWest Mon 25-Mar-13 23:36:21

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome smile

OhWesternWind Fri 29-Mar-13 22:12:15

Splish I have to rely on babysitters most of the time too as I'm in a similar position and my dcs don't have contact with their father. My mum babysits occasionally but it is a bit of a song and dance so I try not to ask her that much. It's still doable! I have some local teenagers who come over and do their homework and watch telly, very cheap and their parents are only across the road in case there is an emergency, so it all works okay most of the time.

But that bloke was just a knob.

splishsplosh Fri 29-Mar-13 22:57:24

Thank you all, I feel much better now - somehow it seemed worse to be rejected for my circumstances, than because we didn't get along. His loss! I think I need to befriend some local teenagers, they might be a bit cheaper than my current sitters.

Walkacrossthesand Fri 29-Mar-13 23:04:48

Hello peeps! Haven't been on here for a while, I've been on the sofa having had No Joy At All with my previous forays into OD. So today I thought I'd set up a profile on GSM, but just for fun I ran a search as 'man seeking woman' in my area/age group (older, ahem) - found 120 lovely, sassy women (including 2 that I know through work - oops! Then ran the same search 'woman seeking man' - 60 men, only a handful looked tempting, and no doubt a lot of them would be looking for younger gals, from past experience So, I've sat back down on the sofa again. Can't face another round of ignored messages etc - the competition is stiff and the odds stacked against me. Am a bit sad.

KinNora Fri 29-Mar-13 23:48:26

Walk please don't feel sad, of the sites I've tried, GSM is wrestling with Match for top place in the crapness chart.

I purposely didn't look at other women's profiles because the thought of pitching myself against nubile twenty somethings, with a job in The City and hobbies including fire eating and surfing would have made me feel like burrowing under my duvet and never coming out.
I think what you have to do is consider what is unique about you and use it to stand out from the crowd in your profile, I seem to remember Bant and the other men on here saying that a lot of women's profiles are virtually identical.

daddyspence Fri 29-Mar-13 23:49:47

Hi all I had a really good night. I really got to know the people I work with. I got chatting to a few people i felt confident.

KinNora Fri 29-Mar-13 23:58:04

Excellent news Spence , I'm really pleased for you.

Bant Sat 30-Mar-13 00:00:46

Nice one Spence - glad you were able to relax and have a good time a bit.

Walk - Nora is right, when I look at profiles I see a dozen that look pretty much the same - 'love to travel, curl up with wine/dvd, walks on the beach, work hard/play hard', all that rubbish. To get someone interesting interested, it's about your profile and standing out from the same old, same old.

Write something witty & humorous, interesting but not overly philosophical (you can get to that later if it's you) Don't mention how much you love salsa, zumba, yoga, travel, even if it's true. Give someone something to ask questions about. Movies, tv programs, poetry, whatever floats your boat. People want that 'me-too' moment to begin when they read the profile, same as on a good first date.

And so many profiles are just bland, almost copy and pasted from others. Boring.

You'll stand out from all the same old rubbish - at least to someone who's not likely to just send cockshots to the first 50 pretty faces he sees that day.

I like Match, personally, compared to the others. Haven't tried GSM simply because I prefer to stick to one site, and I know how that one works. However now I'm in a different place I thought I'd try OKC which is also kind of okay. POF still sucks.

ike1 Sat 30-Mar-13 00:07:08

Walk...or do what I do....cut n paste selected 'bits' from the profiles you like and muck about a bit with it....simples!!

Walkacrossthesand Sat 30-Mar-13 00:43:50

Oh all right then, you've convinced me! smile Over the last couple of years I've tried match, grown-up dating, ivory towers, older dating - got a couple of responses from the last 2, had a few 'coffee dates' but nothing remotely approaching 2nd-date-worthy, so I think I'll give GSM a whirl. Slightly embarrassed to think that work colleagues will be able to read what i've written about myself (if they do what I did and eye up the competition) but hey - I suppose we're all in this together!

OhWesternWind Sat 30-Mar-13 09:17:49

Glad you had a good night, Spence!

Walk I need to do my profile too but I keep putting it off. It's not going too badly without one, though.

I seem to have had four people messaging me around 7 am - is this a bad sign eg married or are they just straight at it as soon as they wake up? Won't be able to read the messages until later as the children have colonised the front room where the pc is. Ooooh the anticipation! Can hardly contain myself.

Bant Sat 30-Mar-13 09:22:45

oww - it's because they all received the email with your profile in it, looked at you and thought you looked great, so wanted to get in early.

Glad you're enthusiastic. Don't forget, thick skin, and you can find someone who doesn't make you all whittly when you're not with them. Someone who deserves you.

TweedWasSoLastYear Sat 30-Mar-13 09:28:59

waves at thread
excited , no not a date but BBC1 6.15pm today.......hes back
does little squeal of joy , and re-lurks. . . . . . .

OhWesternWind Sat 30-Mar-13 09:34:37

Thanks Bant - well, that's vaguely encouraging! I'm torn between having hope that someone is out there for me and I'll find him soon, and being a jaded and cynical old cow. But the hopeful outl

KinNora Sat 30-Mar-13 09:35:55

Oh I know Tweed - it's very exciting and woe betide any child who attempts to talk while it's on, we have Dr Who Silence in this house.

OWW what Bant said, you're lovely.

OhWesternWind Sat 30-Mar-13 09:38:39

Oops, mad finger moment there ... Was just saying its more fun being hopeful so that's what I'm aiming for.

Won't settle for the crumbs again, or the whittly shit.

VelvetSpoon Sat 30-Mar-13 11:02:42

Morning all!

Western its fab to hear you sounding so positive. Sorry mr v was a knobbee but onwards and upwards to better things smile

Sorry for any badly typed posts from yesterday, drinking from 2pm resulted in me being somewhat tipsy. Was asleep by 11 (!) And only woke up about half an hour ago. No hangover thankfully!

Am feeling a bit gloomy about C. Was hoping to see him on monday but don't think I will. If I didn't like him quite so much it would be easier to know what to do.

JulietteMontague Sat 30-Mar-13 11:23:34

Velvet Morning! and waves at everyone else. I'm envious you've also escaped a hangover. I'm not surprised you are feeling gloomy about C, I know you don't want to accept any other offers because you like him but don't let the yearning upset the rest of your life. He is not actually making himself available enough to deserve that much of you. You are fabulous and it's not right that you should be feeling this sad this often.

Walk join the club, we've all had various attempts at dating sites that didn't work for us, you just have to keep going.

Spence good to hear you had a good time.

GreenEyedGirlxxx Sat 30-Mar-13 11:34:53

Quick question for people - would you meet up with someone who only has one picture on their OD profile? Or would you ask to see more?

GreenEyedGirlxxx Sat 30-Mar-13 11:38:29

By the way, sorry I've just launched straight into that! I just haven't read this thread in forever, I'm at a farm with DS who is asleep in his buggy so trying to catch up quickly over a cuppa but there is a lot to read!! Promise I'm not just self involved (mostly!!) smile

48howdidthathappen Sat 30-Mar-13 11:39:09

I have a slight dilemma.

Do I tell Mr R&R I am meeting Mr Oz tonight. I could put a dampner on his time in Yorkshire with his nephews. He has been texting me about their snow man building. These boys mean a lot to him as he is childless.

Do I not tell him. I would feel better if I did, but is that selfish?

Opinions please smile

JulietteMontague Sat 30-Mar-13 11:39:10

Green I have and I would. It is always helpful to see more than one pic though, including full length. Is there any other reason you are not sure?

JulietteMontague Sat 30-Mar-13 11:46:16

48 you favour being upfront so, as you (mostly) firmly believe that nothing is going to change with your feeling how about you tell him, play it down and get it over with. It's a couple of hours and it's only a big deal if you really believe it is.

The alternative is that as you are in text contact you would have to lie to him by omission, or worse lie directly about where you are this evening. That's not the way you work and it is going to leave you, and Mr R&R feeling crap as you will then have to tell him you met up anyway and he will know you did it behind his back.

JulietteMontague Sat 30-Mar-13 11:50:37

Mr R&R is a grown up, from what you've said about him yes it will be uncomfortable for him but he can take it a as far as he is concerned, you are jut meeting up with him (or have you told him you're not sure?). It won't do R&R any harm to know he has a rival but that you chose him. If by some chance you don't choose him, it's all blown anyway so won't make any difference iyswim.

OhWesternWind Sat 30-Mar-13 11:51:46

48 that's a difficult one, but if I were Mr R&R I think it would worry me very much if you told me. Definitely tell him afterwards, though.

Green no, it wouldn't bother me, really, although like Juliette said its good to see more than one photo. Ask him for another?

Velvet all those rugby players then no hangover!! You can have a envy too. This thing with C isn't getting much better, is it? I had high hopes after you had that talk, but he's not stepped up really. Don't do the crumbs thing, you are worth much, much more.

KirstyWirsty Sat 30-Mar-13 11:52:50

You need to tell him 48 .. What Juliet said really

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