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Thrown a curveball (abuse)

(4 Posts)
Curveball16 Mon 25-Mar-13 17:17:59

Name changed for this. Married for some years, DH recently told me he was sexually abused as a child. He was scared to tell me, got to a point where I guess he felt he just had to and it was v hard for him. I told him he is safe, he can't be "got". I don't know who, any particular detail, but the little bit he did say made me feel v sad for him, sickened, and really angry that people can do this. Just looking for some practical advice on managing my own feelings while helping him and respecting his wishes. World's still turning but feels a bit askew. Curveball.

IwoulddoDrWho Tue 26-Mar-13 11:53:41

www.supportforpartners.org/
So sorry. This might be a starting point?

Curveball16 Tue 26-Mar-13 17:25:44

Many thanks for replying. Sort of makes sense of some things (normalised attitude to porn), but I also feel quite angry at what I see as lack of support and the teenage him being tentatively asked, lashing out, and it being left in the air as an unspoken. I'm sorry it took him so long to tell me, and that he was scared of what might happen when he did (we've had some tough times together but we're a team, and strong for it, i don't doubt we can get through this too). I can't make it all better but I can be what he hasn't maybe had - supportive, respectful, a listening ear, safety. I need my own outlet to make sense of what's been said, to manage how I feel (v v v raaaaaar, actually).

So thank you.

Loulybelle Tue 26-Mar-13 20:25:10

Best thing you can do for him, is to not let things be different, stick to your normality, be there for him when he needs it, hug him when he needs it, dont try not to be too different, coz he'll know that, what hes told you, hasnt effected you as a unit.

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