Mil!

[Cuddlemedolly]

Why whenever I see my mil do I turn into a sulky moody teenager. Mil is nice, we've had our issues over the years, but she is a great grandmother. However, whenever I see her, I count face speaking with her anymore. Both her and fil whitter on and talk a lot about themselves (v trivial stuff), talk in great detail about boring things (traffic, weather, ill people, pensions etc).

Mil rarely asks me anything and if she does, either doesn't give me chance to answer, finishes my sentences for me (v annoying!), or doesn't take the conversation any further. It has got to the point where I barely engage with them as I find it tiring listening to them and they never ask me anything. They pretty much dominate 95% of any conversation we have. I've recently had dc3, she never asked me how the birth was, how feeding is going - nothing!

It's difficult, but I dread seeing them now! Why do I behave so sulky around them! Do others have any similar experience? Dh is an only child, not sure if this makes a difference!

[Walkacrossthesand]

Sounds like you and they find different things interesting, and they are 'un touche' self-absorbed - tends to happen as people get older, I think, and get more used to pleasing themselves. But they are your DCs grandparents, and from what you say they love their DGCs, so can you reduce your expectations of any attention for you and just nod and smile during the necessary visits? Why is it tiring to listen to them?

[Spookey80]

I can be exactly the same! Don't know why I get like it and often feel bad afterwards, but sometimes, I just can't help it, she drives me mad.
My mil comes over once a week for a day that I work, she comes round in the morning so I don't have to drop them to her, but I can barely bring myself to say 'good morning', its awful really, and seems very ,ungrateful.
Generally we get on fine, but I am very aware that we are very different people and have very different views and I suppose it just goes with the territory,...I think.
I have had times that I have felt terrible for being so moody after she has left, so I do bite my tongue a lot as its pointless, and I try to remember the nice things she dose for all of us.

[Spookey80]

Interesting about you saying dh is an only child, as my dh is now e only, as his sister sadly passed away. So I think it can feel a lot of pressure and responsibility being the only grandchildren, main family.

[WinkyWinkola]

It's weird. My pil try so hard and are just as you describe, CuddleMeDolly, but by day 2 of their visit, I'm so irritated and bored by them. It's all one way conversation.

Just keep bright 'n' breezy, keep them busy and maintain the civility.

[Cuddlemedolly]

I just find them irritating. Dh and I are busy. We have 3 young dc and so life is frantic and with a young baby, sometimes our patience is quite low. Listening to them talk about such trivial stuff or in detail about anything that happens in their lives becomes very wearing. If it doesn't involve them, they switch off! Dh was away abroad a few weeks ago and met up with a family member. He showed his dm and dh a few photos (3) on his phone and his df ignored him and actually stared at the tv watching back to the future film even though the mute button was on!

I just dread seeing them and I don't know why! I feel such a cow!

[WinkyWinkola]

A cow? Really?

They sound a bit rude and self absorbed actually and you've made an effort and will continue to do so.

Lucky them. Lots wouldn't bother.

[Fairyliz]

Ha my mum is just like this whitters on and on about trivial stuff it makesme so irritable that she just talks about herself and is not really interested in me or my teenagers.
Sorry don't know what the solution is just wanted you to know you are not alone.