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porn yes or no

(29 Posts)
OwnedByACockerSpaniel Sun 24-Mar-13 13:48:29

So I've often found the odd porn site on my husbands laptop and im personally not bothered by it, if he wants to masturbate, which is healthy, I have no issue with him using pornography for his jollies.

Its pretty standard hetrosexual porn and surprisingly more soft than hardcore.

But what's your point of view, is porn something you agree with or disagree with?

meditrina Sun 24-Mar-13 13:51:36

I don't think it matters what others think of the role of porn in their relationships.

What matters more is what you think. You says you're not bothered, but it has been on your mind enough for you to post about it.

Are there other aspects of your marriage which are causing you concern at the moment?

BOEUF Sun 24-Mar-13 13:52:04

The colour green. I quite like it. Yes or no?

BOEUF Sun 24-Mar-13 13:52:44

Parsnips- the controversy of our age. Which side are you on?

BOEUF Sun 24-Mar-13 13:53:31

Handlebar moustaches- are they always a good look? Are you sure?

HeySoulSister Sun 24-Mar-13 13:54:40

I've noticed over the years that as porn has become easier to access via Internet, that new partners are expecting more extreme stuff !!

Especially with much younger partners! Young men expect Anal ... To them it's normal to have it... Whereas before it was quite an unusual request.

That's my findings and views on it.

OwnedByACockerSpaniel Sun 24-Mar-13 13:55:27

I asked because I have seen over time on here that many women equal a porn history to infidelity and was wondering if this was true, im also writing a assignment and am wanting to interject general assumption, I have asked this question on FB and in RL too.

My marriage is fine, nothing is bothering me, we both have a nasty cold at the moment that's about it smile

And yes I like the colour green

flurp Sun 24-Mar-13 13:57:30

Each to their own and all that.
My DP has it on his phone. I'm not at all bothered by it!
There is porn for women too you know but I prefer to read stories than look at pictures grin

OwnedByACockerSpaniel Sun 24-Mar-13 13:57:52

Thank you Hey for a mature answer, I had never thought of that! Yes id be pretty worried of DH came home with a gag ball and suddenly assumed I would be ok with it.

Surely some men can draw the line between fantasy and reality though confused I would hope so!

MmeLindor Sun 24-Mar-13 13:57:59

It is only polite to state in your OP that you are asking because you are writing an assignment.

Porn is a topic that is very controversial, and you are asking women to share their personal opinions and experiences with you.

Not on, if you are doing this to gather opinions for an assignment, imo.

MirandaWest Sun 24-Mar-13 14:00:02

I was going to answer but tbh seeing that you are actually looking for information for an assignment I am less minded to do so. I don't really want to be part of an assignment smile

OwnedByACockerSpaniel Sun 24-Mar-13 14:04:23

ah but your damned if you do damned if you don't, I don't generally state everything as I don't want sociably acceptable answers or to possibly effect the answers given.

it would only be one line such as "general concensus from various sources are that..... However this is not academicaly sourced"

I suppose it was easier in RL and FB to ask as my friends generally know the reason for asking some pretty random questions to them.

meditrina Sun 24-Mar-13 14:05:57

Well as this is the relationships forum, of course people are going to respond about why you feel the need to post about yours!

If it's not the porn that bothers you, were you led to post about your relationship because you have a reason to "find" things on your DH's computer. How long have you been checking up on his on-line activity?

OwnedByACockerSpaniel Sun 24-Mar-13 14:10:02

We share a laptop so when I start to put and address in for websites in the bar it will sometimes sugest ones of adult nature.

I added my own thought because I wanted to share rather than just fish IYSWIM

OwnedByACockerSpaniel Sun 24-Mar-13 14:10:42

We never clear the history, were both pretty lazy haha

JourneyThroughLife Sun 24-Mar-13 14:14:12

I'm happy to answer the question OP. But my views have changed over the years. Porn was something my family frowned upon, my father would have never used it and my mother thought it shocking, these were the views I grew up with. But being much older (and I hope wiser) now, I realise that most men look at porn at some point, and men get turned on visually much more than women. I don't see porn generally as a problem and wouldn't worry if I found a partner used it from time to time. I would worry if it were an addiction or if it was getting in the way of a healthy relationship though.

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 24-Mar-13 14:15:42

I used to like porn - but i dont like it anymore - it is so anti woman. I don't like that teenagers can have access to hardcore porn on the internet. I don't like that there is just so much of it and most of it is hardcore and depicts using women as sex objects. DP and I have a couple of videos, they are hardcore but not like the modern hardcore - its close ups, toys etc, not women being used as cum buckets or fisted which is pretty much par for the course online.

OwnedByACockerSpaniel Sun 24-Mar-13 14:22:31

Thank you smile im not a fan of how such young minds can get a hold of it I think it can sometimes warp what is a healthy sexual relationship in young minds.

Timetoask Sun 24-Mar-13 14:22:47

I object to,it from an ethical pointif view and therefore think it is not right to watch.
It shows a wrong dynamic where (usually) the man holds control over a woman, which if my other half would fantasis about then he wouldn't be the man for me.
Also, someone earned money to film these people having sex, that doesn't sit comfortabley with me. Someone is making money from selling films that are polluting young minds, I am not comfortable with that.

OwnedByACockerSpaniel Sun 24-Mar-13 14:23:51

Thanks jourmey yes im the same as you it was frowned upon by my family but I became more open to it within reason.

Samu2 Sun 24-Mar-13 15:07:21

I object to it. Thankfully, I have one of those rare men who has no interest in it either and never did even when he was single.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 24-Mar-13 15:14:27

"many women equal a porn history to infidelity "

That's quite wrong. Fairly common are women who point to a near to non-existent sex-life, a man that has withdrawn affection and attention, and wonder if this has anything to do with their porn use. Less common are those who discover the usage goes beyond porn images and they're with someone actively engaging with prostitutes or sites connecting people for casual sex... which would be straightforward infidelity. The subset who are not experiencing withdrawal of affection and who have a faithful partner but feel threatened enough by porn to say it constitutes infidelity is pretty small.

badinage Sun 24-Mar-13 16:08:03

Hate porn for political reasons but on a personal level, neither DH nor I use it. Opposite view to a couple of posters here though. When young and naive and unaware of the abuses in the porn industry, we both thought it was okay especially when it was just magazines. But we grew up and became more politically aware and hate the stuff that's available now.

Judging by the posts on this board, it seems incredibly common that blokes who are unfaithful in real-life are also porn losers. You also never see a thread about escorts or camming where the bloke didn't start off using porn. Agree that it's also an everyday occurrence to see a thread about a bloke who prefers porn to sex. Read an article the other day which said that the average age of first exposure to porn has come down from eleven to eight shock. So I personally feel most strongly at the moment about the way that porn is destroying childhood and youngsters' sex lives.

As usual on these threads though, there's a confusion between porn and wanking. It is possible to masturbate without it, avante-garde though it is to think that men have something called an imagination...

WafflyVersatile Sun 24-Mar-13 16:45:32

More women shave all their pubic hair off because of porn, especially those who have grown up with that image, but also amongst older women who have changed. I do not approve of this. It did not occur to me for many years that women other than porn stars did this.

I don't mind men watching porn at all. I do myself sometimes. There are ethical issues around the treatment of women in the industry but there is also that around the clothes industry etc.

I wonder how many get into it who have not had fucked up childhoods or some trauma?

Boosterseat Sun 24-Mar-13 16:56:51

I've never gotten my jollies watching other people get off, I'd rater just be an active participant. DH used it in his teenage years but becoming a family man changed his perception, as our Dc gets older we are becoming increasingly aware of the over sexualisation of children and the expectations porn and modern society impresses upon our children.

We are very open with Dc about sex, we have approached the porn subject and reiterated that a loving sex life doesn't require extreme sexual behaviour, just mutual respect trust and communication.

Porn pedals some bizarre myths about sex which makes men lazy lovers, I'd rather have someone make an effort to find out what my body enjoys not copy something they learned from the Internet.

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