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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Sun 24-Mar-13 12:23:14

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. smile

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese wink and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you smile

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon smile

Lemonylemon Mon 25-Mar-13 14:13:44

Purps Sadly, no DH/DP. My Dad died when DS was 6.5, DS's Dad died when DS was a month off of 7, then I met OH a couple of years later (DS's Dad and I split when DS was 2.5), then OH died when DS was 10 and DD was born 3 months later. Then DS's paternal grandfather died last October. So a lot of loss of male relatives. For this reason, I sent DS to an all boys school to get a balance of male/female influence. Big mistake. He has hated it there every day of his 5 years. He likes female company. I do sometimes feel like I'm being bullied by him, and like you, am quite a strong person.

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 14:32:47

Bloody hell, Lemony you and your family have been through the mill! Poor you. I think the bullying thing is that we wouldn't put up with that shit from anyone else but because they are our boys, and we love them, we 'pull our punches', maybe feel (in my case) responsible? If it's any consolation, my DS went to a normal comprehensive secondary school and didn't thrive there either. Got excluded for trashing the art room with some of his dubious friends. Hugs xxxx

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 14:35:25

oh gosh privatepurple sorry I only asked because I was confused and thought I'd missed something. So sorry to hear all of your troubles, you really have been through it. And how could we blame YOU ? You did everything you could and more. It really is no wonder sometimes you feel alone in the world, especially if you have no close family to lean on. You can always find support on here, I know its not the same as in real life but at least there's usually somebody about even in the middle of the night. I'm sorry for bringing it up - here, have my Opal Fruits smile

babyjane how are you doing? how are the bowels?

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 15:50:46

Don't be sorry Joey, all this stuff has to be sorted through, one way or another. I suppose I blame myself so I think other people will too. I always wonder what I should have/could have done differently. He ended up with a defective parent (due to my own parents (ad infinitum)) but I did try and get help for us. The sense of despair when you can see everything sliding in the wrong direction but can't get anyone to help. I even went to Social Services myself (hence the family counselling) but the help wasn't effective. Again, don't be sorry, my Lovely. xxxx

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 16:12:27

(PS The Opal Fruits is luveryly! Ta! xxx)

ohcluttergotme Mon 25-Mar-13 18:35:01

Hey there babes, Just home from work and thought I'd nearly missed the bus....phew glad I caught it....any opal fruits left?!
Welcome Kate smile
Going to read back over thread, now I'm not panicking! xx

Mouseface Mon 25-Mar-13 20:10:41

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I have not caught up, too much going on and my head is so sore with it all after a day at school and various other things that I've got going on just no, Nemo stuff, my own pain and my own rehabilitation.... Sorry.

I wanted to post to Purple smile

I don't think I'm hiding on here. More, I think, it's proving to be the 'stabiliser wheels' on my bicycle for the launch into RL. A safe, tentative step into trusting people. - You put it much better than me, and you're right of course. You're no long hiding, I'm sorry, you are spreading your wings and feeling your way slowly, forward, which I love. smile I'm sorry for saying you were hiding here, it's not what I meant. smile

So, after the day from Satan, and of so very emotionally testing, I'm going to go and try to eat something. Nemo is yet to be in bed. Life is getting tougher by the day with all the 'we needs' from Nemo's school.

Maybe be back later, hey to Katie xx

determinedma Mon 25-Mar-13 20:12:29

Leans out of sidecar and scoops up baby. What's been happening to you?
Glad to have you back.
lemony sorry to hear about the difficulties with your son. Ds had HUGE behavioural problems when he was small, then it all settled down, but now he is 11 and puberty round the corner, I dread it all starting again.
purple you are totes amaze balls. Seriously.
Now, I have some GOOD NEWS at last. Dd has been asked to audition for a show in the fringe this year and....drum an unconditional for Stirling University for September! Just heard today. She is lit up like a Christmas tree, for the first time in a while.

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 20:31:04

<Squeezes Mouse so hard her pips squeak!> Luffs you Mouse Sorry you've had such a shitty day. Hope you find some peaceful sleep tonight Lovely. xxxxx

Ma Thank you for your lovely comment but I don't feel like I deserve them. Brilliant news about DD! How amazing! So pleased that she's so happy. Hugs to you and DD. xxxxx

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 20:34:23

*s (as in comment*s*)!!!

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 20:35:35

purple 'he ended up with a defective parent' - huh? Where was his father?! Why are you blaming yourself when you were the ONLY one who tried, and kept on trying, and put so much of yourself into helping him? You describe years of social services meetings, and school trauma and police bail and prison visits, when many people would have just washed their hands of him.

Don't you DARE call yourself defective or I will take back my opal fruits !

CocktailQueen Mon 25-Mar-13 20:35:53

Hi all
I'm really having problems. I have been drinking most of a bottle of wine a day most days a week. Every so often I stop for a couple of days but then start again. I'm not feeling great - I am anxious anyway but I feel quite shaky and nervous. My hands shake. I have convinced myself I have liver cancer/cirrhosis and I'm really ill but am too scared to go to the doctor. I am too ashamed to confide in my husband too. Can anyone help? What should I do?

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 20:37:30

ma that's great news about your DD - you must be so proud of her

aliasjoey Mon 25-Mar-13 20:43:09

Welcome cocktail and well done for being brave and making the first step in posting. Is there a reason you haven't told your DH? It must be hard bottling it up, especially if you're worried about your health. Could you talk to your GP?

Different things work for different people, but it might be a start to obtain some support, whether from AS or a trusted friend or health professional.

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 20:58:23

Joey Thank you Sweetpea, I hadn't really thought of it that way. <And please don't take away my Opal Fruits!> xxxxxxx

Hi Cocktail Can you consider talking to your GP?

kateissotired Mon 25-Mar-13 21:05:19

Hello again, I have nearly done day 2. I have not had a day 2 in months. Thanks for the welcome and the space to write this safely.

determinedma Mon 25-Mar-13 21:08:50

Welcome cocktail. No-one will judge you part of a bottle a night here too at the moment.
Kate well done on day 2
mouse sleep well, dear thing

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 21:09:02

Well done Katie Any news from your friend?

determinedma Mon 25-Mar-13 21:18:26

purps how are you?

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 21:41:27

Doing OK thanks Ma (but not on the Bus just now). Slowly working through stuff that's been my own personal burden for years and feeling lighter for it. I need to transfer some of this stuff to RL help but, for now, this is the best thing since sliced bread for me. Someone who has never been able to let down my guard. Someone who has needed (in my own mind) to present myself as capable, confident and strong. Here, I can trust you lot to listen and understand.

One day, when I had had to moved back to Wales and my Dad was uncharacteristically driving me somewhere for some reason, he said "I'm so proud of you. You've done all this (sorted life, house, finances blah) on your own". The inner me was screaming "What the fuck choice have I had!? Where were you when I needed you?! Why didn't you stick up for me when my step mother was being cruel? Why didn't you speak up when she told her daughter that she would have to have a brace 'Just like Purple' if she didn't clean her teeth properly (my Dad was a dentist!), Where were you after my car crash. Why didn't you come to my passing out parade??!!" but I just smiled and nodded. Tit! I think, now, I would say those things but the old bugger is 80+ so probably wouldn't even hear me!

curryeater Mon 25-Mar-13 21:51:07

Huge hugs to purple.
Welcome cocktail
All best to all babes.

CocktailQueen Mon 25-Mar-13 22:02:25

Thanks all smile MY dh is having a hard time at the mo - his brother has just died, and he can't cope with more stress. I am good at being in denial. If I made an appt with my GP, what would they do? what tests? And I don't want it on my medical records either sad

kateissotired Mon 25-Mar-13 22:03:53

Huge hugs to you purple. I have been doing a bit of London sight seeing and went to the pictures today, I was terrified about coming home, and when I did I got blanked. Seeing my counsellor for an initial chat tomorrow so I feel quite positive, as well as nervous.

PurpleWolfe Mon 25-Mar-13 22:43:20

Cocktail I totally understand about your reluctance to have stuff on your medical records but, sometimes, it gets to a point where it looks better that you've looked for help than been 'caught out' and been forced to get help. You can ask for your conversation not to be noted down. If they don't prescribe anything, I think this is workable. It's not as bad as you think. Sending strength for you and your DH.

Thanks Katie Give your friends some time, Sweetpea. If you can show them that you are serious in your attempts to change, if they are true friends, they will come round. They just need a bit of proof. Well done you. Good luck tomorrow.

Thanks Curry Want one of my Opal Fruits?!

ohcluttergotme Tue 26-Mar-13 07:39:04

Morning, welcome cocktail. Agree with what purple says that you can ask for the conversation not to be noted down. The gp can give you details of all alcohol services & once you contact them this is all done in confidence & nothing on your record.
Hugs purple, you've had so much to deal with all of your life, it's little wonder you've turned to alcohol to help.
MA that's fab news about your dd, hope that things keep improving for you all.
Day 45 Alcohol free. I'm starting to feel with my ds being such a handful I may just abstain until he moves out!!
Waves to all babes x

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