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what is a cocklodger

(43 Posts)
mummysaidno Sun 24-Mar-13 11:27:07

I think I have one

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 24-Mar-13 11:28:22

a man who lives with his girlfriend for free

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 24-Mar-13 11:29:21

You do everything, he does nothing, contributes nothing.

Loulybelle Sun 24-Mar-13 11:30:22

Hes basically squatting in your house, while you live there.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 24-Mar-13 11:31:14

It's a man who lives in his girlfriend's place whilst contributing nothing monetarily.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 24-Mar-13 11:32:54

Someone who brings nothing to a relationship other than his amazing cock. (Sometimes it's not even that amazing.)

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 24-Mar-13 11:34:22

mummysaidno Sun 24-Mar-13 16:00:12

Ah and oh . I have been had then .

StuffezLaBouche Sun 24-Mar-13 16:07:30

Oh :-( is he still living with you? Hope you're ok. Remember, cock lodgers often attach themselves to strong, capable women - usually ones with established home setup - which, although hurtful, does mean you have the power to give him a boot up the arse and out the front door.

mummysaidno Sun 24-Mar-13 16:18:45

I am and we have a dd its a long story. I have invested so much time and emotion. He has also behaved really badly . So I have no idea why I am hanging on .

EggyFucker Sun 24-Mar-13 16:19:49

Well, you don't have to carry on "hanging on" just because you have done so far

You can stop, any time you like

StuffezLaBouche Sun 24-Mar-13 16:21:50

Can't answer that I'm afraid, but please imagine yourself ten years down the line if you stay with him. How gutted would you feel knowing you'd wasted all those years with someone who clearly doesn't make you happy. Hoping someone with more experience comes along soon.
Oh and by the way, my cock lodger was of the face of it charming, gregarious, funny... Many people have fallen for these wankers.

mummysaidno Sun 24-Mar-13 16:35:13

I found out when pregnant he had seven other kids that he had abandoned over the last twenty years. So he is a serial cocklodger

StuffezLaBouche Sun 24-Mar-13 16:41:28

Um. Ok.
Do YOU own / is YOUR name on the tenancy agreement for the house you currently live in?
Is there anything stopping you from turfing him out?
I'm assuming he doesn't see or pay for his previous kids, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

EggyFucker Sun 24-Mar-13 16:44:40

Good god !

Cut your losses, now. Don't waste any more of your life with him.

mummysaidno Sun 24-Mar-13 16:55:14

Ok here is a bit of back data. I met him after leaving a miserable marriage of 16 yrs. I was very low my ex had basically destroyed me. My dp flattered and charmed me.
He introduced me to his son who got on well with mine . I found out I was pregnant, all a bit sudden but I had rose tinted glasses.
Then he lost job. Has made no effort in getting another. In two years . While pregnant I was contacted on face book by a girl who turned out to be his daughter. Then informed me of the other five . All that he does not count apparently because he not does see them . We got past that . Then I found explicit texts to an from another girl. We split up then.

StuffezLaBouche Sun 24-Mar-13 16:57:08

And again, why are you with him?

Loulybelle Sun 24-Mar-13 16:57:12

All that he does not count apparently because he not does see them

Wow, Run for the hills!!!!

EggyFucker Sun 24-Mar-13 16:58:30

Are you going to stay split up, love ?

Is this what he does ? Charms someone vulnerable, gets them pg and dependent and then discards them ?

I am sorry it happened to you, but it doesn't define the rest of your life

Stay away from him, maybe get some counselling help to deal with your abusive marriage and to assist in preventing you from choosing another no-hoper.

You can move on, if you drop him like a hot brick, and keep him dropped

mummysaidno Sun 24-Mar-13 17:01:30

There's more. I took him back after him begging , he then left me bleeding in hospital over Xmas with a possible prem labour . He turned up as I gave birth to our prem dd had realized his " fuck up " I was so ill I let him drift in again. Found more sex texts when baby was 4 weeks and again threte months. Split again.

EggyFucker Sun 24-Mar-13 17:06:32

Are you "together" (I put it like that for a reason) or "split" at the moment ?

mummysaidno Sun 24-Mar-13 17:09:35

We stayed apart for 3 months until he started coming to see our dd again. And again I have given him a chance. I am a Dick , I know . Since then ( 3 months ) he has been ok but has no desire to work or help out at all. He still has his own place an stays a few nights a week. Usually when Skint. Hogs my tv, eats my food. I think I want out. I am due to start collage in September, he was gonna have dd but I don't trust him to be reliable. I know I sound really stupid . Sigh

mummysaidno Sun 24-Mar-13 17:12:26

Jeez just reading my posts back is cringing. Wtf is wrong with me ? I don't know why I am hesitating.

EggyFucker Sun 24-Mar-13 17:14:00

Ok, love. Time to call it a day now

This is a very bad example of a relationship for your dd

Make sure that when you start college you don't rely on him in any way. Make plans that don't include him.

Tell him to stop coming around, and wrt contact with your dd insist he takes her at his own place to give you space.

All communications between you should be about your dd and nothing more

The yhing is though love we can give you pages of practical advice about how to end your relationship with an unfaithful cocklodger who is taking the piss out of you

But if you are not going to listen and act, then you have to accept that nothing is going to change

Midwife99 Sun 24-Mar-13 17:18:58

There is nothing wrong with you love - you have been treated like shit for the last 20 years by men & so it's really hard to assert yourself. You sound like you're getting there now though. You deserve better & so does your DD!

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