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Orgasm (Hers)

(38 Posts)
alwayslookingup Fri 22-Mar-13 13:01:14

Hi all,

new to this site and a first time poster (but really enjoying what I've read so far, very honest and refreshing).

Anyway, to topic. I'm 52 and separated for almost three years. I've had a girlfriend of the same age for most of my separation (I never played away when married). Our lovelife is great, very passionate and spontaneous and I really enjoy being intimate with her. I love just lying in bed with her, holding her, talking to her.

However, though she has an orgasm fairly easily during lovemaking (by tongue, fingers, intercourse), SHE ONLY EVER HAS ONE. She says she's quite happy with this and I guess she must be. However, mixed messages here folks. I'm a simple bloke, and my reading of as much work on the subject as I can tends to suggest the more orgasms a woman can have the better. Or have I got it totally wrong?

So, comments please, does anyone have a view on this? I'll say here that it doesn't particularly worry me, though if I could give her more pleasure I'd love to be able to.

And, apologies if this has been discussed before. I hope it hasn't been a big yawn reading this far.


KareninsGirl Sun 24-Mar-13 23:04:43

I would be a bit irked if my new lover waved his cock on the Internet like this. Sorry OP, you creep me out a bit too.

Charliefox Sun 24-Mar-13 15:57:50

Ha, good late input there Irish wotsit! Always pleasing to see a considered, intelligent, well thought out post. Bravo that man! Keep the good work up.

northernirishman Sun 24-Mar-13 15:42:22

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

GirlWiththeLionHeart Fri 22-Mar-13 17:11:17

I guess I'm lucky in that I can have orgasm after orgasm but don't have a good enough lover to give me them. Can't fucking win.

Op, you do sound considerate. All women are different. As long as she is enjoying herself, try not to worry too much smile

SolidGoldBrass Fri 22-Mar-13 15:30:26

There there, OP. Have a cookie.

NormaSpoonOeufEggcher Fri 22-Mar-13 14:33:15

Wow - if you think Cogito's first response to you was a flaming then I recommed that you stay well away from AIBU

TooYappy Fri 22-Mar-13 14:31:48

Oh I thought it was just me freaked out by the 'love-making' comment.

Yes you have your info off you pop now!

Your typing makes you seem like a sleazy male, sorry, have a nice time with your new friend.


alwayslookingup Fri 22-Mar-13 14:31:20

Okay folks, work beckons, and it's in the open air away from computer, so, thanks for all the advice, it's been useful. Feel free to add, I'll see it tomorrow.

quietlysuggests Fri 22-Mar-13 14:27:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mcmooncup Fri 22-Mar-13 14:27:16

"love-making" is a v. unmumsnet way of describing sex. And generally creeps us out, just for the record.

alwayslookingup Fri 22-Mar-13 14:11:29

SolidGoldBrass - many apologies, just had a look at some of your other posts.

CornflowerB Fri 22-Mar-13 14:09:43

Maybe you could just stop admiring yourself

GinGuzzler Fri 22-Mar-13 14:09:13

Speaking from personal experience here to much in one night results in sore bits.

<<returns to ice pack on cushion and hope OH is reading this --doubt it very much-->>

alwayslookingup Fri 22-Mar-13 14:06:42

SolidGoldBrass - Maybe I should go drink some beer and shoot road signs with "ma buddies". Would that be sufficient reversion to type?

alwayslookingup Fri 22-Mar-13 14:01:49

Oh dear, wasn't meant to be. But anyway, thanks for all the comments folks, been very useful

Lovingfreedom Fri 22-Mar-13 14:01:25

yes, you're not doing bad for a 'simple bloke'... well done ... and if she decides she wants more, she can always call Rampant Rabbit.

SolidGoldBrass Fri 22-Mar-13 13:58:40

OP, you may be a very nice man in a relationship with a woman who appreciates you very much. I hope for both your sake and hers that this is the truth and you genuinely wanted a bit of advice, which you have now had.
But you are starting to give the impression that you want to wave your knob at us and have us admire how skilled, caring and fabulous you are with it. Which is a little bit oversharing-ish and starting to verge on creepy.

ElliesWellies Fri 22-Mar-13 13:56:35

No OP, you don't come across as bad at all. You sound like a very considerate man.

If your partner and you are both happy with your sex life, and life in general, then it doesn't need fixing.

alwayslookingup Fri 22-Mar-13 13:52:50

God, I don't come across that bad, do I?

alwayslookingup Fri 22-Mar-13 13:51:56

mcmooncup, erm, yes, it's what we arranged last week. In fact, it was her suggestion.

mcmooncup Fri 22-Mar-13 13:48:11

"She'll be staying at mine, and there's a bottle of champers in the fridge, which we'll drink in bed, before, during and after lovemaking. Can't wait."

So long as she wants to do that too, right?

She does have a choice, yes?

alwayslookingup Fri 22-Mar-13 13:41:55

Hi guys,

no, haven't run away, just nipped out to shop to get something for lunch. And I'm really appreciative of all the comments.

In particular, LovingFreedom, "Stop trying to prove her wrong and get on with it." Got it in one. It's taken a failed marriage, two years of therapy and a broken relationship with my two daughters to realise that I am a control freak. There, said it.

And OxfordBags, you've actually described EXACTLY how she tells me she feels, though she calls them "aftershocks", and continues the analogy by how high on the Richter Scale she felt that one was!

And I know this woman is the best thing that's happened to me in the recent past, and I'm doing my best not to f**k it up this time. And like I said, I can't wait to see her tomorrow evening. She'll be staying at mine, and there's a bottle of champers in the fridge, which we'll drink in bed, before, during and after lovemaking. Can't wait.


catballou Fri 22-Mar-13 13:31:06

I think always has run away now. Come back! all is forgiven....

mcmooncup Fri 22-Mar-13 13:26:50

Eggs Porn is where the expectation that women just keep on going forever until the man choses to end it comes from.

mcmooncup Fri 22-Mar-13 13:25:21

Yes sorry OP, but be careful you don't continue on this vein. You are in real danger of becoming a total turn off.

Imagine your partner kept asking "Why can't you have multiple orgasms? What's wrong with you?"

General response to that over time is...."erm, go fuck yourself".

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