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Very recently ex and close mutual friend 'seeing' each other

(41 Posts)
missmaryp Sun 17-Mar-13 22:25:44

I kind of expected it.

But the thing is - we split up after 4 years together, amicably, just a few weeks ago (my decision ultimately after a couple of years of him being grumpy/unaffectionate etc) and he is still living here. He is due to move out at the end of the month. In to a shared house - with her!

It's almost funny.

He's just got back from a weekend away and told me their happy news.

Am I being unreasonable by being very angry? In a day or so I'll be fine. But right now, he can't understand why I've asked him to sleep downstairs (we've just been 'existing' next to each other in our bed) and why I am so angry.

I feel like it's just SO soon. Too soon. It hurts. Just because I decided I'd had enough doesn't mean I'm not grieving for our failed relationship too.


orderinformation Sun 17-Mar-13 22:28:57

I would be gutted. Would feel like I had lost a partner and a friend. Poor you.

pictish Sun 17-Mar-13 22:30:28


He's seeing a close friend while still sleeping in the same bed as you? He's not even on the sofa?

Fucking weird if you ask me! (him not you)

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Sun 17-Mar-13 22:30:55

Of course its normal to feel upset. Hes still sleeping in your bed ffs. Does she know this? Hope you're alright

HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen Sun 17-Mar-13 22:31:38

I would be gutted. I am separated from my dh and living in the same house. That would kill me.

SweetSeraphim Sun 17-Mar-13 22:32:04

I agree with pictish.

Does she know that he sleeps in the same bed as you?

I'm sorry that this has happened - I'm with you, it's too soon and it's hurtful.

missmaryp Sun 17-Mar-13 22:32:58

Apparently asking him to sleep downstairs was 'unbelievable' as he's 'not infectious'

I might have then unintentionally ended the conversation shouting by calling him a fuckwit.

Alittlestranger Sun 17-Mar-13 22:33:56

Ouch, what a tit he is. I find it weird you've been trying to share a bed. It's massively stupid of him to throw some "honesty" into that explosive mix.

AnyFucker Sun 17-Mar-13 22:34:04

yanbu to feel upset

what a pair of lowlives

you are best off out of it, dude

missmaryp Sun 17-Mar-13 22:34:35

I have no idea if she knows - she hasn't yet approached me to discuss this. Why couldn't they have just done that? Waited, and talked to me. Oh well! At least it's a decisive end to this.

Alittlestranger Sun 17-Mar-13 22:34:40

x-post, seriously does he not understand why it's not appropriate to share your bed?! What a tosser.

TheChaoGoesMu Sun 17-Mar-13 22:38:32

Wow. Just. Wow. I'm not surprised you feel hurt. What a pair of inconsiderate arses.

TurnipCake Sun 17-Mar-13 22:40:21

Ooof, how insensitive. Still, rebound!

LemonPeculiarJones Sun 17-Mar-13 22:52:31

Ugh. Some friend. Poor you. Not ok. I would wonder about the overlap tbh.

And the fact that he doesn't understand why you're upset really underlines how right you were to end the relationship.

ScarletWomanoftheVillage Sun 17-Mar-13 22:57:55

How hideous for you.


They are.

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Mar-13 22:59:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shellywelly1973 Sun 17-Mar-13 23:02:37

Seriously insensitive of them both.

If you had any doubts you had made the wrong decision, you now know you have without a doubt made the right choice to end your relationship.

His behaviour shows a total lack of respect for you.

missmaryp Sun 17-Mar-13 23:03:21

I have a daughter that lives with us, but he's not her dad. Fortunately. Another reason why I made the right decision - she's not fussed about him going.

I just can't understand it - he looked so upset, he feels like he's the victim here, and that he's done nothing wrong. People eh?!

tinkertitonk Sun 17-Mar-13 23:06:32

"... my decision ultimately..." In other words, you dumped him. What right do you think you now have to control his life? YABU, in spades.

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Mar-13 23:08:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missmaryp Sun 17-Mar-13 23:09:09

tinker - I don't want to control his life. I just wish they'd had a bit more compassion and waited at least until he'd moved out?

JulietteMontague Sun 17-Mar-13 23:11:57

Is there any reason that you can't ignore get over why he can't just get the fuck out now?

AnyFucker Sun 17-Mar-13 23:14:01

Throw hi out now, OP

One more night on the sofa

Tomorrow he goes

Any decent person would, yeah ?

AnyFucker Sun 17-Mar-13 23:14:11


LittleBearPad Sun 17-Mar-13 23:17:12

Well if he's moving in with her at the end of the month he can get a wiggle on and stay with her til then. I cannot believe he thnks it's ok to tell you this and then expect to sleep next to you. Twazock

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