Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Husband has just left. Doesn't love me any more. I am destroyed.

(253 Posts)
UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 20:16:45

He hasn't loved me for a while.
Haven't had sex for ages. He doesn't fancy me. Sees me more as a sister.

I want to curl up and die. Im just bereft. I don't know how I can carry on.

UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 20:46:18

I can't reply to PMs on my phone it seems, but thank you.

I don't want this. It can't be happening. Why won't he give it time?

GreenEyedGirlxxx Sat 16-Mar-13 20:46:51

Just wanted to add my support to what everyone else has said.

I have been where you are - this is horrible but this is the worst it's going to be. Whatever happens now I promise you will be ok. You will laugh, smile and feel totally happy. It doesn't feel like it now at all but hang on to that - you will get through this and whatever the outcome you will be happy.

Will add more later but have to run now but just wanted to quickly message to say you're not on your own and it's going to be ok

meemar Sat 16-Mar-13 20:48:31

The crying, being sick and panic attacks are all normal. You are in deep grief. At this moment in time you can't for a second see how it will ever be ok. But it really, really will.

Allow yourself to feel the pain. Breathe through it and cry until no more tears will come out. Then sleep.

Sending you much love, I've been there too and my life could not be more different now. You will find a strength you never knew you had xx

UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 20:57:09

Thank you all. Xxx

I want to be married to my children's dad. They deserve better.

IsItMeBU Sat 16-Mar-13 20:59:25

I'm so so sorry your going through this hmm

Can you not just call someone so their with you? You don't have to talk to them just to have someone there?

Ledkr Sat 16-Mar-13 20:59:28

Run a bath and have a soak I find water very soothing and calming.
You will feel better if you gain a little control and think rationally.
You are going to be fine. He's just a man not your heartbeat.
I was set on my kitchen floor feeling as you do now about ten yrs ago.
I wanted to die I couldn't carry on I felt ugly and fat and old and a letdown to my children.
A few weeks later I had started to rebuild our lives and was feeling much better.
Right now you need someone with you. Can you call someone or go somewhere.

UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 21:03:02

I don't think I can drive ATM. Too shaky & spaced out.

Friend has offered to come over but I don't want her to come. Im an hour from her place to mine & she has little ones.

I just want to be put to sleep.

UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 21:04:20

Why can't he love me?!

MadAboutHotChoc Sat 16-Mar-13 21:04:49

So sorry sad

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but it may help in a way to realise that he has probably left you because he has someone else, not because of you.

Get RL support please.

MadAboutHotChoc Sat 16-Mar-13 21:05:48

He has been planning this for some time and you have just found out and it will take time for you to catch up sad

UnrequitedSkink Sat 16-Mar-13 21:10:27

Oh sweetheart. Didn't want to read and not post. Just hang on in there, it will get better. Can you watch some mindless tv or a film in bed? Anything to stop you thinking for a while and hopefully allow you to drop off. X

Looksgoodingravy Sat 16-Mar-13 21:16:47

So sorry you are going through this sad

RL support is what you need atm. Nights are always the worst time too.

I would imagine as Madabout stated, that there is more to this story.

Deep breaths. You will be running on adrenaline atm, what you are feeling now is all normal, you're in shock and have had so much to take in.

Keep posting on here tonight, there's great support in here x

TrickyTreeLou Sat 16-Mar-13 21:17:52

Uterus, so sorry.

I've been there.

This first stage is AWFUL. I remember it well.

Get yourself to a Dr next week, they may be able to give you something in the short term to help with the shock.

Take each hour at a time. Remember to drink and please try to eat too. Thinking of you. Deep breaths. xx

mistressploppy Sat 16-Mar-13 21:18:23

I'm so sorry sad. Please let your friend comfort you. Could you cab it over to a friend's so you have some company? I hope you can sleep.

Coconutty Sat 16-Mar-13 21:18:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roseflowers Sat 16-Mar-13 21:23:25

I don't think any of us can answer what you're asking sweetheart, I know how fucking painful it is when someone you love says they don't feel the same. You heart will harden to both him and this feeling, honestly. Just cry it out, right now do what you need to do to survive this. You will survive it, and you won't always feel like this

Ledkr Sat 16-Mar-13 21:30:26

Probably not useful to think of ow etc. just take care of the here and now.
Are you running that bath? But if lavender and maybe some hot milk.
Get through the night and get up and face the day as the strong woman you know you are.
You simply will not fall apart over him and you will be strong and supportive for your children who will always love you.

UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 21:43:50

Im going to have to quit the job I love. There's no way I can do shift work on my own.

Thank you all for your kind words.

I want to beg him to stay. That's not like me at all. I have been floored. I'm not usually so pathetic. This has just destroyed me.

CheckpointCharlie Sat 16-Mar-13 21:43:58

YY, take this time to work out how you are going to face tomorrow, and be the for your children, they will be worried about you.
We will all be here still.

Do what ledkr says, get in a bath, try to focus and calm down and plan your day with your children. Your DH will be expecting you to still be in bits, prove him wrong.
Sending an even bigger hug.

UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 21:46:11

Oh, hi ploppy.

It is me.

UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 21:47:17

<<limp wave & weak smile>>

UterusUterusGhali Sat 16-Mar-13 21:48:19

Am heating milk.

mistressploppy Sat 16-Mar-13 21:49:54

Yeah, I know Uterus. I was hoping it wasn't. DH is away if you need to escape here x

Coconutty Sat 16-Mar-13 21:54:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ledkr Sat 16-Mar-13 21:54:56

Well done. You will be ok you sound so much like I was.
I had a lovely shift job too that I thought I couldn't keep with four one only 8 months. I did though. I made the bastard carry on with the childcare.
Had a lovely life once I was over the shock.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now