end of tether

[bossmum41]

why when they leave do they not let you go? why do they just keep causing more upset and hurt?
he had an affair ,he left,he wanted to see less of the children because in his words"he cant commit to them" so we sorted every wednesday and every second weekend. He would let them down over and over leaving me with very upset heart broken DC,when the DC spent time with him they came back upset,didnt sleep,came into my bed and were very angry.
He goes away for a few weeks and leaves no contact number and never calls the DC. The last time he saw them was in February he lives 5mins away his parents next door but one but wont see the children. I have asked him to see them more ,he wont.He spent 2 hours on Wednesday and brought them back as they didnt want to stay.
my door was open on Thursday as i was bringing in the shopping he walked straight in I asked him to leave he said it was his house he can do what he likes,he looked through my post and rummaged through the drawers as I was talking to delivery man,he then left.
He has failed to turn up today and hasnt the guts to speak to the DC . To top all this off he has now filed for custody of the children because I am supposedly an unfit mother and the childrens emotional state has detoriated and so has the presentation of the children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im so so fed up what do they do this for?why ?no one suffers but the children and its just so unfair. sorry to prattle on I am just so very tired and want to screammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

The motivation is 'impotence'. He has no power over you any more, he's probably peeved at having to give up 'his' house/income/whatever, his kids don't like him any more and all he's got left in his selfish little arsenal is the equivalent of kicking over other people's sandcastles. But rest assured, when someone behaves like this they have lost the argument.

So focus less on wondering why someone would behave like that and instead on how to severely clip his wings legally so that he can't carry on doing it. Talk to your solicitor immediately, keep a diary of all the infringements of the access agreement and stamp on the 'unfit mother' crap from a great height.

All communications from now on put in writing rather than over the phone or in person. Screen calls from him and, rather than answering, reply in writing. That way you keep him nicely at arms length and can document him at the same time.

As for him barrelling into your home... internal security bolts.

[badinage]

Are you processing a divorce, division of assets and a formal residency agreement? This is the way to go with this one.

I agree that this is about a power trip. So make sure your rights are legalised.