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Regale me with hilarious/ridiculous things that a narcissist or enabler has said to you....

(980 Posts)
Herrena Sat 16-Mar-13 12:25:15

I'll go first.

My DF acts as enabler for my narcissist M, although I doubt he's fully aware of this. We were discussing her and my god-awful childhood yesterday over skype when he dropped in this little gem:

'Well, you were so quiet. You didn't really defend yourself properly.'

shock What the actual fuck?!

I didn't really process the remark at the time but now I'm bloody fuming.

Go on, tell me yours. Let's laugh at the bastards and then maybe I won't spend the next week dwelling on my wrath

Herrena Sat 16-Mar-13 13:11:44

I suppose I should be glad that it's just me!

shockers Sat 16-Mar-13 13:33:50

I've got loads, but I try not to think about what a twat my mother can be. I just didn't want to read and run.

shockers Sat 16-Mar-13 13:34:19

I think that may be the first time I've sworn on here!

Earlybird Sat 16-Mar-13 13:37:42

'I would have stayed with you forever if you had been willing to let me have things on my terms.'

And he was dead serious when he said it.......shock confused

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 16-Mar-13 13:40:21

'Your dad had a lovely life, didn't he?' (Ha ha) - spending the family money on smokes, drinks and occasional bets, coming and going as he pleased, having nothing much to do with any of us unless it suited him, or to vent his rage at some imagined transgression, or a quick sneer/spot of random humiliation to amuse himself.

Yes, Mum, it must have been lovely for him hmm.

Walkacrossthesand Sat 16-Mar-13 13:59:47

'it's not my fault, I tried really hard to be nice' ( really?? Nobody else could see that...)

Wearegoingtobedlehem Sat 16-Mar-13 14:05:22

"I was only hard on you cause you were too soft and needed toughening up" from my father who frankly abused me in every way possible angry

" I yes we know all about social services" from my mother to my sister - my mother was honestly a true narc who turned a blind eye to what her dear husband did. blush

HidingFromDD Sat 16-Mar-13 14:07:17

"Your miscarriage has upset me so much that your dad is taking me away for the weekend so you can't come and stop as planned"
"I need to go shopping - can you look after your sisters two children as well for a few hours" (when I was staying because I had v severe glandular fever and a 2 yr old with chicken pox, she was supposed to be looking after me!)

misty75 Sat 16-Mar-13 14:46:52

'You're insulting me and making me angry by being upset that you're unwell and off work with anxiety and depression, you're saying that you don't want to be like me , because I've had time off work with depression too' (my ex-friend , to me, when I was distressed and seeking support)

DameFanny Sat 16-Mar-13 14:53:00

Not in the same league, but I'll always remember the bloke who dumped me over the phone, and went into a whole load of why it was me not him. I hung the phone up gently as he didn't seen to need me to say anything, and he phoned back 5 minutes later to tell me how rude I was to hang up on him hmm grin [lucky escape]

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Sat 16-Mar-13 14:53:16

'If you have a termination ill marry you and look I got us some holiday brochures, if you do the right thing!'
What a gent!

'Are you seriously going to Waitrosed dressed like that, people already wonder why I'm with you!'

Herrena Sat 16-Mar-13 14:54:38

It's bizarre that they really and truly think they're not at fault, isn't it?!

I feel I should clarify: please don't post if it's going to make you feel rubbish to do so. That is really not what I intended to achieve with this so apologies if I have hit any nerves blush

littlejo67 Sat 16-Mar-13 15:06:50

My daughter died 8 wks before her 10 th birthday. I was too upset to talk to anyone that day. The day after her birthday i saw my mum she was mad i hadnt called her and she said "why should I ring you to see how your coping, she was my granddaughter , you should be ringing me"! Thanks for the support mum sad

shockers Sat 16-Mar-13 15:11:07

littlejob shock sad

Iwishiwasasleep Sat 16-Mar-13 15:14:46

Oh no Littlejo They really have NO idea how unbelievably selfish they are being do they? sad

BreatheandFlyAway Sat 16-Mar-13 15:17:55

Littlejo shock and sad and much sympathy. That is so sad.

My contribution: (from mum) "Leaving you standing alone and waving goodbye to me at the airport when you were thirteen and I went to live overseas (and left you with the neighbours) hurt me desperately!"

Iwishiwasasleep Sat 16-Mar-13 15:18:58

My "D"M was lovely. She didn't to go to the hospital to see me after I was born as I was born "deformed" and "why did it happen to her".

My aunt looked after me. I had a cleft lip.

BreatheandFlyAway Sat 16-Mar-13 15:19:50

Iwish so sad and shocking shock

Iwishiwasasleep Sat 16-Mar-13 15:20:19

sad for everyone on this thread.

MadamFolly Sat 16-Mar-13 15:30:41


Iwishiwasasleep Sat 16-Mar-13 15:31:54

She also talked me out of having plastic surgery when I was 11 because she didn't like hospitals.

I suppose it's made me a better mother. DD has a cleft lip also and I would not, not even for a nanosecond, let her think there is anything "wrong" with her.

She has no idea that she was born with any sort of condition at all. I'll tell her when she's older as if she has DC they will have a greater risk of having a cleft lip.

Herrena Sat 16-Mar-13 15:34:09

Oh littlejo, that is awful sad

I had a sort-of similar response from my M when I broke up with my long-term boyfriend (fiancee actually). Obviously it was nowhere near as heartbreaking as your story but I was still somewhat taken aback when she said 'I have this feeling that you've told everyone else more about what happened than you've said to me. Why? Why haven't you come to me and told me EVERYTHING?'

If I hadn't realised that she was about as much use as a chocolate teapot for supportive parent purposes, that would have done it hmm It's just ALWAYS about her.

MewlingQuim Sat 16-Mar-13 15:39:30

XP refusing to come to my best friend's funeral (she was 16) because he 'didnt like funerals'.

Six months later, same XP wouldn't visit me (I was 16) in hospital after I lost his baby because he 'didnt like hospitals'.

He was 27 BTW.

Sugarice Sat 16-Mar-13 15:47:19

After making my Mother a home made card for Mother's Day, she looked at it with disdain and said 'well you could have at least bought one,why didn't you go to town'

I think I was about 10 or 11.

When she left us with our Dad for another man and didn't even say goodbye, she didn't want a scene on the street so thought it best to just go during the day in case she was too upset if we cried.

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