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What puts you off a man's dating profile?

(52 Posts)
StuffezLaBouche Fri 15-Mar-13 23:21:58

Been doing a lot of scouting about on Match (getting my bloody money's worth!!) and noticed there are certain things that either irritate me on a superficial level, or fundamentally piss me off. These include, but are in no way limited to:

Men who have kids but specify their potential date should have none.

The men who preface their profile with "no offence but I'm not into bigger ladies"

Men who are stunning, wink at you, but live 300 miles away

Men who are determined to sound more intelligent than they are, so word their profiles in a very pompous, irritating way. "Alas, ladies, I have to yet master the skill of...." Etc.

Any online daters care to share their thoughts? Am I being stupid? I have massive body hang ups so the second someone shows an interest in me I assume they're piss taking or similar.

Estherbelle Sat 16-Mar-13 13:54:19

I eventually met my gorgeous DP on (in the East Midlands, so there is hope StuffezLaBouche!) but like you, I had to do my fair share of scouting around before I found him.

My pet hates were:

* Men posing with their flash cars in their pictures (show off!)
* Profiles which begin: "I don't really know what to say about myself" (bore off!)
* Profiles of the "1971 vintage, one careless owner" variety (I don't want to know about your ex!)
* Profiles which go on about "snuggling up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a DVD" I mean, doesn't EVERYONE like to do that, what does it tell me about you??!
* Bad spelling/grammar (I'm a writer, so that was pretty much a deal breaker for me)
* And why is it that 90% of men claim that 1984 is their favourite book? I bet half on them haven't even read it, it's just a "credible" book to mention.

There was one man whom I was speaking to for ages. He seemed like such a catch - great career as an architect, same hobbies as me, handsome, owned his own 4 bedroom house, single, claimed he wanted a LTR (I knew all this to be true, because it turns out that he knew a friend of a friend) used to send me epic emails thousands of words long...when I suggested meeting up, he suddenly had to go and work on a project 200 miles away. Initially for a week, he said, but 10 weeks went by and he was still up there...allegedly. Eventually I gave up and went on a date with the man who is now my DP. 2 years later we're still together and really happy. One of my friend is on Match and according to her Mr Elusive is still on Match and logs on every day, so who knows what he wants??!

StuffezLaBouche Sat 16-Mar-13 14:17:25

Congratulations for finding a decent one, Estherbelle, and anyone else who has managed too. I did smile at these posts - some of them rung massive bells with what I've found too!
Another thing that gets me is men or wink or email me, when I clearly listed my body type as 'big and beautiful' (ha) but they specify they are looking for women who are "athletic and toned." How can I possibly email back? I can't exactly say, by the way you do realise I'm massive!?

Trills Sat 16-Mar-13 14:25:35

I do wonder about "Men who have kids but specify their potential date should have none."

If a woman has no children then she either:
1 - wants children (so will want them with him, if things work out)
2 - does not want kids (so probably doesn't want to be a stepmother either)

Which of these situations is the man hoping for?

StuffezLaBouche Sat 16-Mar-13 14:29:46

Who knows Trills, but perhaps it's a case of a bloke wanting a bit too much on his terms? As a woman in late twenties who does not want kids, finding a nice, single childless man is quite a challenge.

Trills Sat 16-Mar-13 14:31:28

I would guess that the men who put down that specification are not really thinking and are just saying that they don't want the women they date to have any commitments that would stop them from being available whenever the man wants.

StuffezLaBouche Sat 16-Mar-13 14:45:44

Yes. Exactly that!

Nellymay Sat 16-Mar-13 14:51:42

who say they are lonely - they'll always be sad and lonely - woman or no woman
Who say they have come out of a bad relationship - its up to them to sort that out, its their business.

who are a bit too airy fairy - write their profile as if it is a poem - ye-uck!

kinky ones

Kernowgal Sat 16-Mar-13 17:02:05

"I am a deep thinker and enjoy moments of contemplation"

= I will sulk and give you the silent treatment if you won't let me watch MOTD

LesserOfTwoWeevils Sat 16-Mar-13 17:34:19

"staring off into the distance in a turtleneck" grin

"all the blokes local to me seemed to enjoy posing on their car bonnets with a fag in their hand." grin

merrymonsters Sat 16-Mar-13 17:44:24

One of our neighbours has a couple of expensive sports cars. One day one of the cars was parked in the street and DH saw a man (not our neighbour) having a photo taken with the car. So it might not even be their car in the picture.

Kernowgal Sat 16-Mar-13 18:26:02

This one was a bashed-up pink Honda Civic. It was definitely his wink

It's the "easy going" one that annoys me. Well, you're hardly going to write that you're a psycho or you insist on your ties being perfectly aligned on the hanger, are you?

I also struggle with the ones who will likely follow you around like a puppy: their profiles are full of cheesy shite that will engage any self-respecting woman's gag reflex.

And the ones that really love themselves are just hilarious. I want to give them a pat on the back and say "yes dear, well done".

sensesworkingovertime Sat 16-Mar-13 18:33:15

Narcissistic ones.

KatyTheCleaningLady Sat 16-Mar-13 18:37:52

I used to do a lot of online dating.

Big red flags for me were negativity of any sort (saying what they don't want rather than what they do) and any sexual innuendo in profiles or email.

Loulybelle Sat 16-Mar-13 20:01:04

Ugh, i've been on sites, i always seem to find the pervy dickheads.
They home in on me. Dont do it anymore, i attract wrong uns.

But, its the negative crap that i dont like, i mean jeez, cheer the fuck up.

WillIEverBeASizeTen Sat 16-Mar-13 20:36:49

Babe...makes me shudder..

WillIEverBeASizeTen Sat 16-Mar-13 20:38:18

Actually...I'm gonna take a look now as I'm soooooo bored sad

Loulybelle Sat 16-Mar-13 20:40:50

Describe yourself is another cringeworthy one......Well, im green, i have 2 heads, 1 huge tit, a fanjo big enough to fit a jumbo jet, no feet, lobster claws, and a face that makes the dead wake up and die again.

Cailinsalach Sat 16-Mar-13 20:47:54

I have never done the on line dating but regularly read Soulmates in the Guardian.Some guy describing himself as an Irish feminist has advertised for months. So not a lucky feminist then. Another guy admits to having a lovely home in Devon. I so want to contact him and ask for more details about his property

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 16-Mar-13 21:04:14

smile @ Loulybelle grin

WallyBantersJunkBox Sat 16-Mar-13 21:28:39

Louley if we all club together for the membership will you set up the exact profile you've written below?

I would bloody love to see who replied to that one.

Do the green card mob still haunt these dating sites. My mate got shed loads of West Africans possibly coming to the end of their visa.

Loulybelle Sat 16-Mar-13 21:36:49

Wally, i would too, i wonder if my POF profile is active.

WallyBantersJunkBox Sat 16-Mar-13 21:39:02


<<flutters eyelashes and clasps hands>>

Loulybelle Sat 16-Mar-13 21:41:55

<desperately goes to find out>

Loulybelle Sat 16-Mar-13 21:43:12

oh bugger it.......

meddie Sat 16-Mar-13 21:49:20

text speak and over lolling infact putting LOL once is enough

Posing next to a flash car or bike? WHY? I,m not looking to date your vehicle and if you think I will be impressed by your flash car then no actually, I am put off by the fact you think so little of yourself that you need to put your car in the photograph.

Any signs of bigotry, misogyny or racism

Woe is me profiles.... boo hoo I,ve had no luck, fed up being lonely.

Profile names like 'unluckyinlove' lonelyheart' desperatesingleton' It makes you come across as pathetic and needy.

profile names that are overtly sexual. 'biggusdickus' 'bangyouhard' etc etc

Anyone who describes themselves as a 'bit crazy' ' a bit of a nutter' usually anything but.

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