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Where do I go?!

(83 Posts)
Username123 Fri 15-Mar-13 19:56:55

After a year of dealing with my daughters father and his mother's issues and general control freak behaviour, tonight I received a call saying that they had discussed it and had decidedly that my daughter would be better off living with his mother, they are on the way round and could I have her bags packed.

Well, her bags are packed, as are mine and I am sitting in McDonalds not knowing what the fuck to do or where to go.

I have no living family members and don't want to go to a friends in case he finds me there.

I have £50 to my name until I can get to a bank tomorrow morning.

Obviously there is a shitload of backstory to this, but where can I go right now that would be safe?

I'm in east London in case that's relevant/helpful?

CatelynStark Fri 19-Apr-13 21:17:02

I've just seen this thread and wanted to say that you have been brave and amazing so bloody well done!

indianrani Fri 19-Apr-13 21:15:27

You are a brave and courageous woman. I hope you get sorted with the accomodation and custody of your DD. Don't be frightened, today you made the hardest step, be proud of yourself. Best of luck.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Fri 19-Apr-13 21:05:52

So glad everything is panning out for you.

Well done, keep doing what you're doing, you and Dd will be fine flowers xx

Username123 Fri 19-Apr-13 20:58:25


Just thought I would come back and give you lovely people an update.

We are doing really well still. No need to change locks as Ex never lived here, but I didn't want a shouting match on the doorstep in front of my daughter or them trying to break in by force or something, which is why I felt it safer to run.

As for Ex, he is now claiming he doesn't believe DD is his and wants a DNA test hmm, probably because CSA contacted him! So the test has been done and submitted and should have outcome soon. Bloody idiot. But other than that it is the only contact I've had from him or his family. I think the police officer and solicitors letter must have terrified them!

HA are still being slow in getting a move, but frankly, if this silence continues from Ex I'm happy to stay here.

DD is doing amazingly well. She is so bright and happy and far more intelligent then I give her credit for. and she is mine

Thank you all again for your lovely words of advice, support and offers of help. Serious thanks to those who offered to come with me to various appointments. I know I didn't take you up on them, but I really did appreciate them. Also thanks to the people who took the time to PM me with advice and telephone numbers, it was a huge help.

Slainte Tue 26-Mar-13 22:47:48

Thinking of you OP and hope you're managing to stay strong.

DameFanny Sat 23-Mar-13 09:53:11

Oh good news! Have you had help to change the locks, and made sure the address is flagged with the police?

cjel Fri 22-Mar-13 18:20:38

Hope you get the move you want. I have had more bullying txts from mine this week, Threatening if I don't do what he wants he will appoint his solicitor to reclaim 'his' money.!!! Wish you and DD peace and happiness.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 22-Mar-13 15:55:05

I've just come across this now.
I have to say, it is so inspiring to read this.
I hope it goes well for you. You certainly deserve it.
Well done and good luck!!!!

Username123 Fri 22-Mar-13 13:38:39

We're doing well!

The ERO came through yesterday, so tomorrow we will be moving back into our own house.

Have had not one single piece of contact from Ex or his family. I guess the police visit and solicitors letters were enough to scare them away, at least for now.

Have requested the HA to move us to another property (so Ex doesn't have address) but they seem unable to do this without putting us in temporary accommodation first, which I want to avoid as DD has enough upheavals at the moment! Solicitor is trying to convince them otherwise, but I guess my luck with amazingly helpful people have run out!

But yeah, we're doing great. Thank you all again for your lovely words and posts!

annie I thought only my Ex was dickhead enough to believe that I would just hand over my child with no arguments. Sorry for bring up bad memories for you sad

cjel Wed 20-Mar-13 23:08:08

How you doing?

EllaFitzgerald Sun 17-Mar-13 20:10:43

Nothing helpful to add, but you've been massively brave, even if you don't feel like it. You should be proud of yourself. A very difficult situation for you but you and your little one are safe and sound and getting the advice and support you need, and that's because of you. Keep strong.

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 17-Mar-13 20:03:19

I never cease to be amazed by the resiliance and strength of mothers on here! I'm in awe of you OP xx

MushroomSoup Sun 17-Mar-13 19:47:21

Bloody hell, well done you xx

MooMooSkit Sun 17-Mar-13 17:43:29

You are doing so well - well done you! If you need anything (it sounds like you have lots of friends tho) please pm me, i lived in e london till i was 22 and still visit reguarly x

cjel Sun 17-Mar-13 17:33:10

So pleased you have found an angel and big scary mean friends. No more than you deserve.xx

annielouisa Sun 17-Mar-13 13:16:22

This brings back huge memories for me I received a telegram (over 30 years ago) from my EXH basically saying get out of house and leave the girls they are mine. I was petrified he was violent and his DM and DF took his side in eveything.

No mumsnet in those days but I too went to the police and they were wonderful. Funnily he backed down when I told him I had shown the police the telegram and he tried to make out he had not sent it.

Be strong OP do not let these poisonous people spoil the wonder of ther relationship you have with your DD. You will be in my thoughts.

tallwivglasses Sun 17-Mar-13 00:40:08

Just caught up. Here's some wine wine wine for you and your big, scary, mean friends!

SpecialAgentKat Sun 17-Mar-13 00:32:13

I am in awe of you.

SquinkiesRule Sun 17-Mar-13 00:19:42

Well done Username123 sounds like you are a fab Mum looking out for your Dd's best interest.

BubblegumPie Sun 17-Mar-13 00:11:17

This thread is giving me a warm fuzzy feeling, so pleased you've had such amazing support OP. And you've handled yourself brilliantly, keep up the good work!

GrumpyKat Sat 16-Mar-13 22:16:52

Just checked in and so glad to see you are coping so well. Who needs socks anyway? grin

Beckamaw Sat 16-Mar-13 21:52:42

Another 'Yay!'
You are awesome and your little DD is so lucky. My youngest is the same age, so this especially resonates with me.
Sorry you are being put through this. So many women wouldn't have your balls. You are doing great!

Username123 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:45:49

Lol, I had my own 'WTF?' Moment when I looked at my clothes this morning. Thankfully I had a cardigan on yesterday so wasn't completely freezing!

TisILeclerc Sat 16-Mar-13 21:42:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSilveryPussycat Sat 16-Mar-13 21:37:03

grin at 3 bras and no socks. Sorry can't help myself blush

Glad your day went so well smile

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