Trying so hard but fear am broken, again!

[Chaoscarriesonagain]

Split up with DP almost 3 months ago, it was horrendous; emotionally, physically. He sadly was an abuser in many guises.

I thought I was doing so well. Eventually I began no contact and it's killed me, I missed him so much in the beginning. Although now it's less and less.. Am just so sorry that he could do this after the love I thought we had, and obviously the love I had for him.

My point is am just not the same person. Am moody, snappy, teary and utterly frustrated. My life had inevitably turned upside down; I am now back at parents doing a 4 hour daily commute and am tired. Am so tired.

A lovely man wants to tame me out tomorrow and I just don't know that I can . I feel guilty , why do I feel guilty? Why can't I have my life back.

I don't know what in particular triggered this feeling tonight, I just don't feel I can ever be myself these days.

[jynier]

Aaw, Chaos - I have no advice for you but am so sorry that you are feeling like this! You are probably still grieving over the loss of your relationship.

Are your parents supportive? Do they realise that you feel so dreadful?

Plenty of MNetters will be along soon to help and advise.

Take care of yourself!

[Chaoscarriesonagain]

Thanks OP .

I can't grieve much longer; it's killed me and I've felt so much better.

My parents are accusing me if being moody and tonight DF shouted at mr and it scared me, it scared me like he used to (ex DP) and now I just wonder if I'll ever be the person I was again like before

I can't pretend anymore

[jynier]

Go to bed now; you will feel better in the morning. Come back on here tomorrow when you've had a chance to think!

Best wishes!