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DH unsupportive after long day

(29 Posts)
pineapplesherbert Fri 08-Mar-13 21:39:07

DH came home from work to find me in tears after long day looking after LO. He yelled at me to grow up and went to bed without saying goodnight and refused to make up with me when I went in, raising his voice as if to wake the baby. I am so furious.
That is all.

TranceDaemon Fri 08-Mar-13 23:18:58

My abusive ex used to do this to me, always when I was upset or vulnerable.

Note 'abusive and note 'ex'. It is not normal to do this OP.

coffeeismywine Fri 08-Mar-13 22:26:43

x-post with ScottyDog and LucyEllen

coffeeismywine Fri 08-Mar-13 22:26:04

OP your husband has not behaved in a decent way. Can you try to talk to him in the morning when things are less fraught?

I am sorry that my drawing attention to the word you used derailed the thread but I felt it was a horrible word that was disablist. I should have merely reported and not posted what I did on the thread.

Lucyellensmum95 Fri 08-Mar-13 22:25:41

FWIW OP, my DP really does not know how to cope when i am upset and he can become quite hard and unsympathetic. Its not becaues he doesn't care - its because I have put him trhough alot and im upset ALOT. However raising his voice was way out of order.

I'd not say anymore tonight, let him sulk - talk to him tomorrow after hopefully a nights sleep. Could he have been really stressed too? ~Not making excuses. If he does this alot then he needs a kick somewhere sensitive

ScottyDoc Fri 08-Mar-13 22:22:09

Coffee you are nit picking and have hijacked a thread. Your goady first comment says it all. Well done love. And yes the irony of cunt being allowed but moron being removed.

OP hugs to you. I've been through similar with my dh but it can only change once you realise you are a team and have to equally support eachother, no matter what tiredness or other things life throws at you.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 22:20:03


Please guys, lets get back to the OP?

Hope you are okay OP

Lucyellensmum95 Fri 08-Mar-13 22:16:06

OP, why don't you start a new thread - your DH has behaved really badly and you need support. Please guys, lets get back to the OP?

GirlWiththeLionHeart Fri 08-Mar-13 22:15:56

Poor ops thread has been hijacked sad

justabigdisco Fri 08-Mar-13 22:15:02

Sorry OP. Your DP sounds like a not-very-kind person.

justabigdisco Fri 08-Mar-13 22:14:19

Oh FFS, it's alright to call someone a cunt but moron gets deleted??

coffeeismywine Fri 08-Mar-13 22:12:44

I don't think it's unbelievable or somehow wrong not to use diablist terms. I'd hardly call that PC ruling again. hmm

ScottyDoc Fri 08-Mar-13 22:10:58

Wow unbelievable lol. So you can't call someone a 'div' or 'idiot' Now either I suppose? Give it a year and they will be proclaimed disablist terms too. PC rules again.

coffeeismywine Fri 08-Mar-13 22:10:28

neither do I, which is why I asked Olivia to clarify, because I am quite prepared to admit it if I am wrong and over-sensitive to the issue.

unclefluffy Fri 08-Mar-13 22:09:01

Struggling to, yes coffee. Merriam Webster also says idiot is offensive, which clearly it is intended to be when you yell it at an unsupportive spouse. I do agree that "retard" is offensive, though - so I'm not completely blind to the problem. I don't want to take the thread too far away from its original intent, though.

Lucyellensmum95 Fri 08-Mar-13 22:07:15

I didn't nkow that about moron - i wont be using that term again then.

Besides the OPs husband is simply a cunt.

coffeeismywine Fri 08-Mar-13 22:06:07

Olivia, can you confirm that the word moron is considered to be disablist? I think it is, and the dictionary says it is now considered offensive. But there seems to be some doubt.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 22:04:23

HELLO we have edited this thread title to remove the disablist language

coffeeismywine Fri 08-Mar-13 22:03:46

No because idiot is not considered offensive, but by a dictionary definition, moron is

Can't you see the difference?

unclefluffy Fri 08-Mar-13 22:02:55

coffee - is "idiot" therefore also disablist?

If not, pineapple - he sounds like an idiot. Or a fool. What happens when you talk to him about this when he is calm?

GirlWiththeLionHeart Fri 08-Mar-13 22:01:32

Well you learn something new everyday! I have a severely disabled nephew and have worked with SN children for years but never knew that. Just shows its good to explain and educate people smile

ScottyDoc Fri 08-Mar-13 22:00:59

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Redbindy Fri 08-Mar-13 22:00:36

Moron is a definition, not an opinion. OP, he is a moron.

coffeeismywine Fri 08-Mar-13 21:57:28

Moron is indeed disablist. Moron was a term used to denote mild mental retardation. It was used as part of a scale include idiot, moron and cretin.

". (no longer in technical use; considered offensive) a person of borderline intelligence in a former and discarded classification of mental retardation, having an intelligence quotient of 50 to 69."

GirlWiththeLionHeart Fri 08-Mar-13 21:54:10

Moron is disablist?


Sorry op, he is being an arse sad competitive tiredness is an awful thing to get into. You need to tell him it's not a competition, you both work hard. How old is your dc?

coffeeismywine Fri 08-Mar-13 21:45:34

Vile title. Disablist phrase. Yuk. Sorry but use of words like that makes me feel sick

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