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Oh crap - I think I've made myself look rather foolish

(175 Posts)
ParanoidPrue Thu 07-Mar-13 23:00:46

I've just sent the following email to both H and someone he's been emailing in a slightly less than professional capacity:

Hello to you both

Whilst it is heartwarming to watch your blossoming romance via the internet, I wonder if either of you could spare a thought for the poor pathetic wife in this scenario? I'm sure that you both will protest that this exchange between you is entirely innocent and that you simply have a connection as "friends". But whilst you exchange your star-signs and discuss hobbies, I do have to wonder why you both choose to do this via private email addresses rather than your work emails... could it be that you have something to hide perhaps? Or perhaps you're concerned that both of your respective employers will catch on to the fact that you are conducting daily phonecalls under the guise of work. Far be it for someone as lowly as a wife to question her husband once again putting in danger our family's only income for the sake of this "friendship" but it seems to me that innocent people don't conduct themselves in this fashion.

I guess that I should be relieved that the distance between you prevents this friendship spilling into the physical realm as it has in the past for the poor innocent husband. Oh but my dear, please do not concern yourself - (H) will soon be young free and single once more and you will be free to meet and discuss your match on one of your trips to London. (H) has no such qualms about something as trivial as marriage holding him back from such a meeting - you see, this is not the first time and I'm sure will not be the last. In fact, he has quite a penchant for single mothers so it seems that this dalliance was meant to be. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for him, his wife is not so forgiving and for her, this will be the last time. I do hope that the friendship was worth it my dear husband.

Oh crap oh crap oh crap - I look bonkers don't I? In my defence, there's a massive back story and I just saw a bit red when I found the emails (half of which had been deleted from H's side)......Hit me with it - I feel sorry for her now, she's probably not got a clue that he's a nasty predatory wanker and perhaps she really was seeking friendship <<clutches straws>>

ParanoidPrue Fri 08-Mar-13 07:35:02

Thank you for all your lovely messages last night more thanks for all

Rather anticlimactically, it appears H had not yet checked his emails. No sign of a reply from her. I'm leaning towards possibly deleting my message from his inbox to minimise the personal fallout but that does feel like chickening out - I feel like I should face the music and deal with whatever I did and all it's consequences come what may.

Anger has been replaced by fear it seems confused

TobyLerone Fri 08-Mar-13 07:40:31

But you felt so good about it last night!

Doha Fri 08-Mar-13 07:44:12

No please leave it alone. Use today to get things sorted in your head, a back up plan and some RL support for when he reads the email.
If you back out you will regret it later. I am sure the oW will fully discuss the contents of it anyway.

ParanoidPrue Fri 08-Mar-13 07:56:13

I know - I can't believe I'm veering towards Team Toby, how fickle can a person be grin

I think I will take Doha's very wise advice and just carry on as I planned - I have a couple of meetings re possible work today so will gird my loins and put this whole sorry mess out of my mind for now.

cubedmelon Fri 08-Mar-13 08:04:09

I think your email to h and colleague was well worded and didn't make you sound crazy at all.

Is it possible your h has seen it but is not mentioning it? I dont know why he wouldnt mention it but maybe he's hoping it will be brushed under the carpet?

TobyLerone Fri 08-Mar-13 08:15:38

I wish you the best of luck on behalf of my entire team grin

sarahjaye Fri 08-Mar-13 08:18:44

I would have written and sent exactly the same email. Well done!

almostanotherday Fri 08-Mar-13 08:29:10

Pack your bags or change the house locks too, just so he knows that this time you mean it, you are worth alot more as a person than your DH seems to treat you like.

Rushed post need to go school smile

FancyPuffin Fri 08-Mar-13 08:36:58

He sounds like an utter twat.

Hope that this really is the final straw for you.

pictish Fri 08-Mar-13 08:38:18

Looks like a good email to me. Wishing love and strength to finish things with him cleanly.

WinkyWinkola Fri 08-Mar-13 08:47:28

Hold on, he's the liar. He's the cheater. Surely he's the bonkers one?

All the op has done is highlight this in an email and said it is the end.

She hasn't said anything bunny boiler at all.

Good for you, op. Liars, cheats and bullies depend on people keeping schtum and not saying anything for fear of looking stupid or mad.

They are stupid and mad.

I hope he fucks off soon. What a creepy guy.

AnyFucker Fri 08-Mar-13 08:51:49

You sound fabulous

What I wish for you is that this communication really DOES signify the end for you

The only stupid course of action here is if you fall for the inevitable flannel and take him back yet again

Don't worry about her...she has some lessons of her own to learn, and you have provided an important one for her

oldwomaninashoe Fri 08-Mar-13 09:22:34

You have been far more dignified and restrained than Vicky Pryce (now that was bonkers!!!!)

Jux Fri 08-Mar-13 09:27:24

I think it's brilliant! Well done. I hope he just quietly collects his things and slinks off to a cardboard box in the middle of the road, eating gravel for breakfast.

Good luck with your meetings.

Sailormercury Fri 08-Mar-13 09:33:41

I love your message! How very classy, composed and articulate. Very well done flowers. He can fuck off to the farthest side of fuck.

Mintyy Fri 08-Mar-13 09:36:55

Its a good email - I only wish you hadn't described yourself as the "poor pathetic wife" because you sound anything but! Hope it goes well for you today Prue.

Sailormercury Fri 08-Mar-13 09:43:43

Yes I agree with Mintyy. You are not in the least bit pathetic. ParanoidPrue for the win!

pictish Fri 08-Mar-13 09:46:36

He's is soooo ditched by his 'pen pal' btw. Or at least if she has even one iota of intelligence, he is.
A penchant for single mothers. I'd be fuming if I were her.

Good work. grin

whimsicalmess Fri 08-Mar-13 09:48:24

Paranoid don't feel bad at all, I very much doubt she had no idea what was going, well she might but I'd be very, very surprised if they work together.

Well done, hope it all works out, I don't think you sound bonkers btw.

Flumpyflumps Fri 08-Mar-13 09:55:44

That is absolutely brilliant! Well done you and hope it works out.

Still no reply from her? Do you think they are getting their stories straight before coming back to you?
Either way don't be tempted to accept any 'innocent' explanations.

Good luck

whimsicalmess Fri 08-Mar-13 09:58:57

Oh no don't back out now!
could he have read it but is still silently reeling in shock?

distract yourself , DO NOT BACK OUT NOW!STAY STRONG!

almostanotherday Fri 08-Mar-13 10:05:43

Just remember, you are bigger, better and stronger than he thinks you are so show him that and he is the one so very very much in the wrong not you and don't let him tell you otherwise x

prettywhiteguitar Fri 08-Mar-13 10:28:22

No it was brilliant !! Well done for warning her.

Now time to send him an email telling him to move out or whatever you want him to do, time for action against him

Have to been to a solicitors ? Do you want to stay in the house ? Don't hide from him or minimise what he's done it's time to get angry and get him out of your life

scottishmerlottish Fri 08-Mar-13 10:30:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JC67 Fri 08-Mar-13 10:34:23

Yes, I'm another one voting for Team Don't Back Out Now! Ask yourself whether you've been living the life you want to live with him. Can you take years more lies?

All that energy that you've used on him could be used to make your life fabulous and that is the best revenge.

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