I live with my boyfriend and we are very happy together. We live in the house he owns - no issues with that, it may be his house, but it is our home.
It is getting to a point where in the next couple of years we will probably consider having children. Boyfriend doesn't want to get married - it is not something he sees as a necessity, doesn't like a fuss and is also worried about if he married someone and it didn't work out, they would be entitled to half of what he has worked hard for (I totally understand that and it is not my intention).
My worry comes from what happens if we are happily living together as a family and then something happens to him. I know that legally I would be entitled to nothing and I don't know where that would leave me. In addition, as an unmarried partner, if I was to inherit his house I would have to pay inheritance tax which is out of my budget and I would have to sell. Also, he is older than me so the likelihood is I will outlive him, and I'm scared about what could happen then.
If we have children together, I am fortunate enough that we could be in a position where I could be a SAHM - however, that means I then have no financial security in terms of if we split or something happened to him as I would have quit my career. I would also struggle as a pensioner as I would have no pension and I don't know if I would qualify for his (assuming we do not split but he dies first) if we are not married.
Part of me feels like if we are to have children I should insist on us being married, but I am not sure if I am being unreasonable. I have no intentions of taking him for a ride and I hope we don't split up (I would be more than willing to sign documents to this effect, although not sure I would feel the same if I gave up work to look after our children and then split because he had been unfaithful for example). I'm more worried about if something happens to him.
I guess this is more of a WWYD, but would it be unreasonable to almost 'demand' marriage before children?
Sorry this is so long, didn't want to drip feed information!
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Relationships
To be worried about the future
teacherandguideleader · 04/03/2013 21:15
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