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To get annoyed at having to prompt dh for some money?

(538 Posts)
WomanCalledAlice Fri 01-Mar-13 15:57:13

I work FT and get paid monthly, dh gets paid weekly. My wage pays the bills/clothes the kids need etc. On a Friday when dh is paid he transfers money straight into my account for groceries. Today he transferred £100 so I went to Tesco and spent £70 on food for the week and put the other £30 in the meter for electric.

Now it's my friends birthday today and I'd like to buy her something nice and also my other friend had a baby on Monday so would have liked to buy her a little gift.

Every week it's more or less the same, he transfers money over but I just never have enough. When I ask him for more money he usually says "did you spent the whole £100"? But he always transfers more over its just the fact he questions me and I don't think I should have to ask.

I'm not out buying luxuries for myself (I wish) I'd just like a little bit of cash in my purse. AIBU?

I almost feel guilty for asking him confused

tribpot Sun 10-Mar-13 17:09:27

Totally agree with Juliette. Sometimes when you're dealing with bad family news it can feel like you're in a bubble when actually you'd rather just feel like part of the world. As long as your friend doesn't feel you're dumping on her, which I'm quite sure you wouldn't, I would tell her.

dondon33 Sun 10-Mar-13 17:18:38

I just read your thread from the start Alice and wanted to add my support.
You are fantastic and so brave. I'm sorry you've had to deal with a huge amount of shite in such a short time, you've absolutely done the right thing.
Well done standing your ground with your Dm - it's your day and I hope you've enjoyed it.

I don't want to freak you out nor put a downer on your day and I'm surprised no one else has touched this - Do you believe what he said about seeing someone else for the last 7 months?? I'm putting 2 + 2 together here and I'm probably = 5 but - You say you've had a UTI sad I worry if he's telling the truth he could have given you a STI. It would make sense to go and get tested asap. Sorry to add to the head fuckery but it's important.

((big hugs))

WomanCalledAlice Sun 10-Mar-13 17:20:31

I hadn't thought of it that way juliette. I'll drop her a text tomorrow and see if she wants to come over. As you say it might take her mind off her things she has going on.

Distancecall, I have actually thought about counselling in the past about other things, I think it would do me good. I tend to bottle things up all the time which really doesn't help long term.

Darkesteyes I'm sorry to hear your mum is the same. It's not nice at all.

Thanks again for taking the time to post advice, it really does help.

cjel Sun 10-Mar-13 17:23:36

Please you will tx friend tomorrow, I think you might be suprised!!

WomanCalledAlice Sun 10-Mar-13 17:57:53

Dondon, that's a fair point. It wouldn't do any harm to get checked. Do smear tests pick up on sti's does anyone know?. I have smears every 3 months just now (just had all clear from cervical cancer).

Had a great day today, tennis killed me but was good fun. Bowling was good and in stuffed after dinner, still room for chocolates when kids go to bed though smile

ScarletWomanoftheVillage Sun 10-Mar-13 19:05:06

Yay! thanks

dondon33 Sun 10-Mar-13 19:06:55

It certainly wouldn't Alice if nothing more then just to put your mind at ease.
I don't think a smear would pick STI's up, I know it can detect HPV, but as far as I'm aware STI's have got to be specifically tested for. Obviously the nurse carrying out the smear would be able to notice some things (warts, herpes) but not all.

Brilliant news about CC - it's a bloody nightmare isn't it? having to trail to the colposcopy clinic so often.
Glad you enjoyed your day and I hope the choc's are delicious, you deserve them and a whole lot more x

Imaginethat Tue 12-Mar-13 15:09:57

How are you Alice?

WomanCalledAlice Mon 18-Mar-13 19:41:05

Hi, I'm ok. Well not really, lost my job last week. Have that feeling of a big black cloud hanging over me. Ex has a new girlfriend apparently- He is due in court in May. He hasn't seen the kids since he left and Dd keeps asking where he is and why hasn't she seen him for so long.

Things can only get better eh sad

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Mon 18-Mar-13 20:50:29

I am very sorry to hear this.

It will get better. Forget what ex is doing and concentrate on you, you and you.

You may have to repost in the legal matters of this site, but your change of circumstances may mean you are entitled to legal aid going forward. Do check as I read that legal aid will become much less accessible after this month, except for cases of DV. I would apply ASAP.

blackcurrants Wed 20-Mar-13 01:10:04

I'm so very sorry, Alice. I hope you got a decent amount of notice and find something soon. Last thing you need, really, it must just be too much to worry about.

Ignore your tosspot ex, and keep your children close. I hope the people in Legal can help you, I'm not very knowledgeable but lots of people really are. Do keep posting/ start a new thread for support, I'm sure I'm not the only one wishing you all the very best, and hoping things get better very, very soon.

VitoCorleone Wed 20-Mar-13 12:04:01

Just read this thread from the start. Stay strong Alice, you've been through a lot, take care of yourself

imaginethat Sat 23-Mar-13 09:48:41

Hi Alice, I'm so sorry to hear you've lost your job, that's awful! What happened??
You are having such a hard time, I wish there was something I could do for you.
If you feel like posting, I'm always keen to read. I lost your thread for a while but I've saved it now so can keep up.

Unbelievable about the ex with a new girlfriend and no doubt very painful for you.

At the beginning of the thread you had an eye injury, an infection and you weren't sleeping. Is your health a bit better?
What about RL support?

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