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Virtual Circle of Friends

(345 Posts)
MillyMollyMandy78 Thu 28-Feb-13 10:18:12

On my last post about a lack of friends, so many of you reached out with your own stories/ support/ advice. Several of you also said it would be great if we had our own thread where we can just meet up and have a chat and be virtual friends.
I apologise about the boring thread name - I couldn't think of anything cleverer! So this is me reaching out... Who wants to join me & be my virtual friend? X

xxDebstarxx Sun 17-Mar-13 20:22:59

Your kind words have really touched me. I really do appreciate them. Thank you all.

threebats Sun 17-Mar-13 22:56:09

Yes brocoli I am glad you had a good day also. A wedding fair? You'd have to kick me dragging and screaming into a wedding fair though - not exactly the marrying type hmm Born to live by the seat of my pants, fly by the slight of the wind and run kicking and screaming from 'do you take this man?'
No I fecking don't and you can't make me either... There is not enough cake in the world to make me want to get married....
Good news - I listed some things on Ebay today to kick off at 8.30 this evening. My phone is vibrating non stop as it informs me that some have been bid on and some on the buy it now option have already sold. Am super happy as I began my year of being frugal this month - albeit 2 months late but I have begun it and this is only helping me so, here is to a good bidding week on Ebay. have now turned off the phone though as I really ought to consider some sleep as its Monday tomorrow and we all have to heave on up out of bed for the start of another week....
I swear the weather chap said it was going to snow here next week - did I imagine that?

xxDebstarxx Mon 18-Mar-13 07:24:43

Unfortunately not threebats they are sending more snow hmm

I am going to try and be more positive and assertive this week. I'm sick of being a doormat but the only person I can change is men not those that treat me like shit and expect me to roll over and take it.

threebats Mon 18-Mar-13 09:14:10

Deb No. The smallest word you can imagine yet the hardest to say at times. Expect a reaction from all those you say it to - they are not going to like you not conforming to their ideal of what you ought to be doing...
A small, tiny, wee example was my youngest this weekend, 'Mam, when you drop me into town on Saturday...'
'Uh, I am not dropping you into town Saturday. You want to go? You get the bus.'
'Pardon? Do what? You always drop me into town...'
'Yeah, I do don't I? Well I don't fancy it this weekend, I have plans...'
Stunned silence and a huge sulk later, she was on the bus. Did her no harm at all and got me off a petrol bill, an hour in snarled up traffic and a lousy mood for the rest of the day.
Just brace yourself for others reactions and get your reaction to those reactions sorted in your mind - as in, don't react. Don't get mad. Don't answer back. Don't let them pistol whip you with guilt. It'll be misplaced guilt on your part. I always reckon, if you are going to feel guilty about something, at least make it something worth feeling guilty about! Yeah, like that extra large bar of chocolate I ate last night and the pool training I skipped this morning! Not what I did not do for somebody over the weekend as I was busy!

xxDebstarxx Mon 18-Mar-13 10:52:04

Too true threebats I will practice saying the hardest word to say!

Have made myself giggle reading my previous post the only person I can change is men obviously I meant me!!! grin

threebats Mon 18-Mar-13 19:14:51

No you didn't, you meant men... You are the oracle of all that is men... Please pop in and change my son? Then pop next door and change the chap that lives there as every Sunday morning, without fail, he drills things. When you're done there its over the road to the man that likes to come around inspecting people's gardens each summer, you know, so the place looks tidy shock He acts like he's just out for a leisurely stroll but I am telling you - he mentally measures the grass length as he goes. And finally, when he is changed please, please, for the love of all that is Holy - change David Cameron, Osbourn who, frankly, gives Ozzie a very bad name indeed and Clegg the Peg - he needs a complete change does he...

An update on the village green - apparently 1,000 people turned out to campaign for one - 1,000 people!? Yeah and I'm Cindy bloody Crawford - there can not possibly be 1,000 people living around here and if there were? Imagine the damage they will all do to the bloody village green grin

xxDebstarxx Mon 18-Mar-13 20:20:03

Hahahahahaha you do make me laugh threebats thank you grin

Village bogswamp more than village green after 1000 people have been tramping over it I guess.

Oh to be the oracle of all that is men. My home would be a haven then.

I tried being assertive today via facebook hmm and set someone off on a rant because I objected to him using the phrase one of my best friends is... to justify his nasty comments. Apparently I have had a sense of humour bypass and failed to see him as the awesome man he is. Swiftly deleted off my friend's list. Next step...assertiveness is RL.

threebats Mon 18-Mar-13 22:00:12

No but I am Cindy Crawford - God damn it why don't people believe me?

Facebook - the absolute horror of it - I am not on facebook, do not want anybody finding me - when I moved into this house back this time last year (when the sun shone hot, the air was dry and a hose pipe ban was being whispered about - ahhh.., those were the days, snow on Thursday!) My neighbour who drills a lot on Sunday mornings, cornered me outside as I was attempting to parallel park my car- now that you had to see to believe - not parallel parked in years! Anyhow, he corned me and went, 'Hey! Its you!' Shouted my name. I sort of looked about me as I got out of the car, all confused as to whom he was talking to, 'Its me!' He announced. Understood, at his point, that he was actually talking to me so took a step or two quickly towards my gate thinking, who the feck is this nutter..? 'From school, remember? God, can't believe you're living next door...' On he went and he's living with a lovely lady has a lovely son, owns his house, great job - and I am going,'Oh, left him, yeah.., that's right, renting, mmm, three kids yes, 4 cats, those are all mine, yes, yes, that's correct. No, no job.... 'Didn't I do well!' Slink into house, bash head against wall and pray to God the next time I see him I can actually remember his name as he never told me who he was, I did not recognise him and I could not remember him from school at all!
Turns out he is a lovely man actually, his girlfriend is nice but really - this is the reason I do not go onto Facebook - I will go on it, when I am rich and famous and married to Jack Bouer from 24 but until then - nope!

Well done deb for taking the first foray into standing up against somebody's nasty comments!

TheBrocoliIsStillRaw Tue 19-Mar-13 07:39:24

Haha threebats you have such a way with words I have an image now of you arms and legs flaying (sp) everywhere being dragged down an aisle whilst being force fed wedding cake.

I hate that phrase deb do you not always find that it is followed by something offensive? Well done you on confronting them.

threebats Tue 19-Mar-13 08:05:17

Morning all,
Sun is shining here again, am starting to get suspicious now - that's two days in a row I have needed to drive with shades on...
I don't disagree with marriage brocoli I'm all for a good divorce settlement and a share of a good pension
Hope everybody is well this morning - off for a shower!

xxDebstarxx Tue 19-Mar-13 08:14:56

sssssshhhhhh don't tell the sun it's shining it will run away and hide again!!!! Yep the sunglasses are needed here too!

Hahahaha threebats When my exhusband and I divorced I got the kids and the car, he got the playstation and the cat. Within a week he had sold both so I'm pleased the kids came with me grin

Yes Brocoli that phrase is on a par with no offence meant but and I don't mean to be rude!

threebats when you are rich and famous and married to Jack Bauer from 24 don't forget the VCF!!!!!!! grin

TheBrocoliIsStillRaw Tue 19-Mar-13 10:34:35

Sorry threebats u paint such a picture the vision just popped into my head. Oh yes deb that is another stupid one its basically saying I'm going to say something to offend you know but you are not allowed to be offended by it hmm

threebats Tue 19-Mar-13 12:20:04

I actually didn't get the phrase you were on about deb Afraid things have got to be spelled out in big, clear letters for me! all I got was that somebody was horrible and you stood up.... Oh! Oh! I got it! I just re-read it and got it!
Duh! Honest to God, I need a lobotomy... Little wonder my children can get things past me before I know what's happened. Like my eldest today asking what time I am picking up her brother from college and I blithely go tell her without wondering why she is asking as she is not there today and she then says, 'great, you can pick up my mate and take her home too, she's expecting you...'
Wtf just happened? I'm doing what? Who is this friend?

I have just completed my work for the day and am choosing to ignore the mess that is my downstairs and an off upstairs to carry on with my writing - upstairs, I have a view of the entire neighbourhood and can easily spy on others without being noticed. I also have a stash of drumstick lollies hidden in the knicker drawer and its only a swoosh over the floor on my chairs castors to get to them!

I will never forget the VCF's when I am rich and famous and married to Jack Bouer from 24 - I will get him to teach me all the good torture moves and come online with a video aid and show you all how they are done! But there will be no wedding cake left over sorry ladies - If I have to get married to Jack Bouer from 24 than I am eating all the cake myself...

Monstermuncher Tue 19-Mar-13 12:50:08

Jack Bauer is yummier than cake...

Hello all! I am very jealous of your sunshine, there's not a scrap of blue sky out there today and we have snow. Just the very light stuff that doesn't lay down but snow nonetheless.

Facebook is an odd one. I like to browse as I am quite nosey but then get mightily annoyed with it. The ones who post something like "oh no" just to get a reaction and so 10 others will immediately post "whats up?". The ones who take photos of their every meal. Some folk really do spend their life on it. Thank goodness my two are too young for all that, there are some total nutters out there. Anyhoo, I am being summoned by my two year old master so I'd better go and supervise ..

TheBrocoliIsStillRaw Tue 19-Mar-13 15:16:47

Ahh you have a 2 year old master as well Monster mine has just been sent home poorly from playschool and is currently using me as his own personal human matteress.

xxDebstarxx Tue 19-Mar-13 15:28:25

Awww bless him Brocoli I hope he feels better soon. Monster and Brocoli I can't remember the days when my boys were two. I think I've blocked it out grin My teenagers tend to ignore me now unless they need food, money or a lift somewhere.

Glad to hear you won't forget the VCF threebats even if you won't share the cake shock what writing are you doing? Sorry if I'm being nosey asking that.

Monstermuncher Tue 19-Mar-13 20:15:36

I hope Brocoli Jnr is feeling better. Toddlers are just relentless aren't they? The days I spend at home with him are far more tiring than the days I am actually at work.

Are you feeling OK today Debstar?

threebats Wed 20-Mar-13 07:19:40

No sun here today ladies so, less of the jealousy now smile
Good morning!
brocoli hope the little one is better today? monster will need you and brocoli in a few months when daughter births the first Grand-offspring - can't remember a darn thing about babies and toddlers. She asks me questions and I shrug, its all completely gone. Quite shocking considering I did it 3 times over!

My writing deb well, I can't say exactly what it is as I don't want the idea poached online by a lurker or something. I had the idea years ago after hearing the story behind a Meatloaf song. Not one of his more well known songs. I was simply just stunned by the song and thought up an entire 500 page book based on it. Not like it at all, based on the story in the song - don't laugh now - I have a letter here that I intend to take to the concert in April and try to give to him asking his permission to use the lyrics in the opening credits of the book - I want his personal permission - I know its tragic for a woman my age - I am afraid to post it off, even though I have stalked out his home address and thought of camping outside it for a wee while if I had the air fare to The States! Cause the odds of him actually reading it? Or, popping up behind a bush when he is here playing golf! My last ditch idea was to contact Chris Evans as he knows and likes Meat and if I wrote to him and asked him to ask Meat? I mean, its not like asking for an autograph, is it? Its an unusual request, might pique his interest?
Anyhow, my sad, pathetic and totally brilliant crush on Meat aside - this book has been an almost labour of love - its far more important to me than any of the others I have written then printed out and stored away - this one has sat on my desk for years. I dream about it, I think about it, I have a music score for it. It frustrates me, it angers me, it winds me up, it taunts me, it laughs at me. But I love it. I have research everything in it to within an inch of what is reasonable - I even went to New York 6 years back in the days of having a partner with a good job and spent 10 days walking the city so I could get accurate descriptions in it. This is my absolute final re-write of it and I am absolutely going to send it out to publishers - gulp - this is it, the rest of this year is the final re-write and I am going to copyright it I think as I can't bear anybody nicking it as their own work not mine, then sent it out.... I am trying not to think about that part of it all as I am bricking it - I shall be on it all today, it will help me avoid the bloody budget!

xxDebstarxx Wed 20-Mar-13 09:32:45

Oh wow threebats that sounds amazing! I love reading and that sounds like something I would race to read. Try any means possible to contact Meat. I always like to think of him as a kind hearted soul.

I'm ok Monster thanks for asking. Putting my brave face on and conquering the day smile

TheBrocoliIsStillRaw Wed 20-Mar-13 10:05:23

Well Brocoli is back to his normal energetic self today but after the constant stream of sick and pooh that has been the past 24 hours I have just realised every last item of clothes he has is either wet or in the wash and the gas went this morning so I'm going to have to take him out in his pre school uniform. Its his normal day at school today so I am preparing for the mother of all tantrums when we don't go.

Wow threebats that sounds like an amazing book so excited and keeping everything crossed for you.

I think we block out the worst bits of child raising to con us in to doing it all again. I remember someone telling me when I was pregnant that the first 9 months where the hardest. Eh? They where a breeze and now I hear that the terrible twos are nothing compared to three, oh god I hope not.

threebats Wed 20-Mar-13 10:59:55

Am taking a chicken sarnie break from the writing...
And have dropped ketchup all over my keyboard while eating said sarnie... angry swore a lot.
brocoli great that your son is well again - don't even talk to me about gas and the cost of it and drying clothes and all that is connected with all of it... I encourage offspring and myself to remain in Pj's and dressing gowns at all times while indoors - far less washing and drying to do. Its almost a treat to get dressed in clothes to go go outside now - but all neighbours think we are buggering, arse lazy slobs as a consequence of the bed clothes all day long - open the door in them, put bins out in them, go up garden in them. Wait till Easter - weeks will go by where no sod actually gets dressed here!

Have spent an incredible amount of time looking up Amtrak Trains this morning, sleeping cars and refreshments and do not disturb door signs and ID needed and actual real train stations, times and connecting buses from one state to the other and cost and time involved in journey and freight trains delaying passenger trains and blinds on windows or curtains...? Arghhhh! It might have been easier to actually go over there and take an Amtrak... Straight to Meatloaf's house where I could stand outside his plush pad and scream at the top of my lungs, 'I would do anything for love! But I WON'T DO THAT (again) Meat! Oi! You listening to me in there? Get out here and take it like a man...' Oh, well, that last bit was my own personal and private thoughts - apologies...

After Amtrak-gate I had to go and look up - grasshoppers - yes, that's right - which quickly switched to Crickets as Grasshoppers are tricky. Crickets are far more likely to reside by a lake on a dirt track road leading to a small town in Iowa... I even U-tubed them to hear the noise they make so I could be ACCURATE.
I am buggering off again now before the news comes on the radio as radio is always on in kitchen - do not want to hear about the budget!

TheBrocoliIsStillRaw Wed 20-Mar-13 19:30:06

Oh good I am so glad it's not just me that keeps DS and me in PJ's all day if were not going out. In fact when I get him dressed he automatically gets his coat because he knows we are going out.

As for the price of gas arrgh it drives me mad this house eats it just for fun. Good luck with the book. You have such a talent with words your posts always make me smile and I can actually picture the scene if that makes sense I'm sure it will be hugely successful.

threebats Wed 20-Mar-13 20:21:45

grin brocoli that's exactly what my kids do! If I say, get dressed, they do and they go get their shoes and coats....
We also have copious amounts of blankets - never has my fascination with collecting blankets been so popular than this last year or two. My son does not even mind having the blankets with the flowers on them, not anymore, not when he complained, 'I am not a girl you know...' So I took them off him and wrapped them all around myself on the couch - he went, quite literally, pale, begged for them back so I said, 'Yeah okay - soon as you admit you are a girl!'
And hot water bottles - like a gift from God himself, mini radiators to carry about with you - bliss. I have one by my feet, one on my belly and another on my arse - I totally do - a cold arse is not to be taken lightly. So, you lay on the couch (you've got to nab the couch first though, its a first come, first served basis job - first one there gets it for the night). Put a hot water bottle by your behind, another on your feet, then wrap up in 2 blankets then cuddle in the third hot water bottle - we all have 3 hot water bottles each! Spoiled suckers we are grin

TheBrocoliIsStillRaw Wed 20-Mar-13 21:18:59

Oh yes yes yes to hot water bottles and blankes. We always snuggle on the sofa under blankets. The other week I got the duvet down as it was rather cold DS thinks its great and now when I put the blankets on the sofa he says no mummy get big blanky and I have to go up and get the duvet. He as also set his sights on my hot water bottle. He keeps saying share mummy quickly followed by "I go" which means my turn first. I am going to have to get him one of his own and treat myself to another one or two at the same time obviously. He loves being snuggled up in his pj's under a blanket with a hot drink. No idea where he gets it from (whistles innocently).

threebats Thu 21-Mar-13 08:01:55

We should get sofabeds brocoli Or would that be going too far? That way, we can have a bedroom in the living room and never need to leave the blankets/hot water bottle situation for anything other than a run to the bathroom and a quick pee! Can't wait for this weather to break - its brutal.

Can't believe its Thursday already - this week has flown...

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